What's up with Flotsam?

Ol' Flossie is complaining that she needs to work and now her husband needs a SECOND job to pay for the 2 lil' potato-headed miracles. She has a list of complaints, here are two:

6. Today is the ten year anniversary of my first date with Scott, and instead of celebrating he will be spending the evening in training for his new second job, and I will be alone with the children during their Crabby Hours.

7. This second job, while helpful in offsetting our very high summer childcare costs, means that Scott will soon be away working on Wednesday evenings and Saturday mornings while I watch the children. Because it is my busy season, I have been in the custom of going into the office on Saturday mornings myself, because I cannot stay late enough during the week to get everything done AND pick up Simone on time. Now I will probably have to go in on Saturday afternoons, which is 1000 times worse.

I didn't know someone put a gun to her head and made her pregnant. Whiny bitch. Her husband HAS to be cheating on her crazy ass.

http://flotsamblog.com/2014/06/05/ministry-of-grievances/

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Amazon's Description of this Untalented Loser's Book...
Author Alexa Stevenson had spent most of her life preparing for the wrong disasters.... learns the Zen of medical uncertainty and makes the surprising discovery that a worst-case scenario may just be the best thing that’s ever happened to her. The absurdities of the medical system, grappling with mortality, and coming into one’s own are all explored in this wryly heartfelt memoir.

From the indignities of infertility treatments to managing bedrest and parenting a preemie (how does one wrangle an oxygen tank while changing a diaper?), Alexa recounts her rocky road to motherhood with a uniquely sharp, funny, yet poignant voice.

I can sum up her book without even reading it...

• Waaaaah! These IVF treatments are so expensive!!!
• Waaaaah! Infertility treatments strip me of my dignity!
• Waaaaah! The medical system is absurd! (Even though it saves her kid...)
• Now that my kid is here, parenting is sooooo haaaaaard!

And now she's whining about her husband having to take on a second job?

These IVF people are strange. They bitch, bitch, bitch about how unfair it is that they can't have a kid. They spend $10,000+ trying to have one. They finally have one... and then bitch about the kid, how much it costs, and how much time and energy it takes to raise one.

Thank God I don't have any friends doing IVF. They strike me as a bunch of energy-draining whiners.

The book-- Half Baked? As in a half-baked loaf? This book is an infertility "journey" memoir? They feel the need to chronicle everything, and it's always labeled as "wry." Good lord.

That blog post is just depressing. All the readers posting their own tales of puking, bloating, stress, exhaustion. Kind of like reading a really depressing book and then realising your own life is pretty good compared to that.

Wait, what? You mean, buying fertility treatments and raising two shrieky, whiny, snotty little kids is both time consuming and expensive?

Well, color me surprised.

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Pure Crazy
Next week Simone will finish kindergarten and Twyla will turn two which means my children are all old.

Well, hell, if it's that upsetting, the fire station's open all night. Just spend a couple more grand at the clinic, you'll get some new ones.

Also, Twyla? Most people ought to have the sense to not name their children after seizures they have on their keyboards.

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night owl
The book-- Half Baked? As in a half-baked loaf? This book is an infertility "journey" memoir? They feel the need to chronicle everything, and it's always labled as "wry." Good lord.

That blog post is just depressing. All the readers posting their own tales of puking, bloating, stress, exhaustion. Kind of like reading a really depressing book and then realising your own life is pretty good compared to that.

"Wry" is usually code for "desperately trying to be funny, but it's not." eyes2

It takes a child to raze a village.

This particular train wreck was new to me so I checked out her blog...:hs Well someone sure screwed herself over. She does IVF, loses he-loaf and twin she-loaf barely survives after 2+ months in NICU and then is stupid enough to try again? Does she WANT a defecto-loaf? :drool

Actually, I'm betting on that she or duh wanted a replacement for dead golden penis. I think this because she hasn't even bothered to update her "About" page to indicate the addition of she-loaf2.

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I live in St. Paul in the shadow of my laundry pile, with Simone, my husband Scott, and some cats

The Flotsam story in a nutshell is so full of fail I hardly know where to begin: WannaBreed 24(?) year old is desperate for seed but has miscarriages and talks her equally-young boyfriend into doing IVF. In her earlier blog posts she refers to him as "The Nearly," as in nearly her husband? Anyway, they have huge fights and almost break up because she wants to do fertility treatments and he wants to give it time and enjoy life. (Seems pretty reasonable given their age, etc.)

But of course nobody ever said rabid Breeders are rational/reasonable, and they (she) FORGE(s) AHEAD WITH THE BREEDING, since, yanno, baybees make all relationships better. eyes2 One of the twins dies in utereo and she ejects the other one in a half-baked state. IIRC, she was particularly nasty and condescending to the NICU nurses, because nothing says "class" like harassing the medical staff who is trying to save your DNA experiment's life. And writing on your blog about it.

The second child was conceived naturally, OF COURSE AFTER THEY HAD BEEN SEPARATED, see note above about bad relationships and baybees. They have a lot of financial problems and IIRC, she had an eight grade education (?) and did not finish high school, which makes finding a job harder. At one time she was working on her GED and complaining about that but at least she's found a full time job now.

The other salient point is that after the ejection, we were discussing the situation on this page. Okay, someone called her kid "fugly," which isn't the most tactful behavior, but nobody ever said the web was a bastion of PC behavior. We also were discussing the morality of IVF and all the pain and suffering her kid endured. Her first kid has all kinds of medical issues including reduced kidney function for life.

The other indisputable fact is: all discussion took place here and no CF person trolled her blog. Despite this, Flotsam called us out in a blog post and sicced approximately 10,000 angry, hostile cows on this site. They tossed the word "trolling" around freely because that's what their leader said it was and Moos aren't mental giants. Flossie supposedly had a BFF who called herself childfree who joined the fray. (She was an idiot and probably has her own IVF child by now.)

Found the cluster fuck thread here.

tldr: she's an attention-whoring, whiny Breeder twerp.

Flossie aka "Napoleon Dynamite Expounds on First World Problems."

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Just took a look at the old thread and read some of that blog and maaaan, what a trainwreck.

How did they even afford IVF? I know a couple with a good income that got IVF and it was a chunk of change for them.

If someone wants kids that much, it doesn't look like they would complain about what it takes to support them. I wanted a dog badly and when we finally got one I have never complained about the cost of food and vet care or her exercise requirements. I know kids cost more than a dog to support in money and time, which would mean a person should do more to ensure they are prepared, not less!

Except, of course, paruunts feel entitled because kyds are our "future".

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aliceblue
Actually, I'm betting on that she or duh wanted a replacement for dead golden penis. I think this because she hasn't even bothered to update her "About" page to indicate the addition of she-loaf2.

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I live in St. Paul in the shadow of my laundry pile, with Simone, my husband Scott, and some cats

WHAT?!!! :hs This nutbag lives near me? (I live in Minneapolis, which is close enough!)

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

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darkerthanblack
Just took a look at the old thread and read some of that blog and maaaan, what a trainwreck.

The moo trolls were all offended yet ole childfree me does more for kids in 10 minutes than all of the trolls, flotsam and her minions, and any number of moo bloogers will do in their entire lives combined.

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Her husband must be miserable.

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Example of her readership
::cheering::
I will be 34 in August and there isn’t a sniff of a potential husband in my life. Being partnered and having children have been the only things I have ever wanted for which there is no substitute. I am tired of keeping cheerful about this. I have decided that I can’t afford to be a single parent either, given the lack of family support locally. So there goes that dream. I don’t want pity, I want a husband and children. I have tried ALL the usual strategies, several times over. I feel that this will never happen for me and this sucks.

JEEBUS. This is just one example of similar comments that are all over that blog post. She has some of the most pathetic followers I've ever seen!

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Ketchup
Her husband must be miserable.

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Example of her readership
::cheering::
I will be 34 in August and there isn’t a sniff of a potential husband in my life. Being partnered and having children have been the only things I have ever wanted for which there is no substitute. I am tired of keeping cheerful about this. I have decided that I can’t afford to be a single parent either, given the lack of family support locally. So there goes that dream. I don’t want pity, I want a husband and children. I have tried ALL the usual strategies, several times over. I feel that this will never happen for me and this sucks.

JEEBUS. This is just one example of similar comments that are all over that blog post. She has some of the most pathetic followers I've ever seen!

Women "nice guys"

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

All I can say is fuck her life and she deserved it. I just read in the other thread, IVF is truly a selfish choice due to the fact of all the potential health problems. At least with adoption you can pick a healthy kyd. Giving an orphan a mother and a father is one of the most loving choices to make. I'd rather go through a mountain of bullshit to adopt than to have a premie tard via IVF. Her situation is another reason why I'm childfree.

"11. We are postponing our plans to buy a house for at least a few months and every time I think about it I want to cry or smash something or even better to cry while smashing things."


Am I the only one around here who feels like if you are employed, your spouse has 2 jobs and you have 2 little kids, you have NO BUSINESS buying a house? My opinion on this may be skewed because I live (and born/raised) in Los Angeles.


"13. All that fancy “retire to my bedchamber” business is in there because I was going to say “makes me want to lie down” but can’t for the life of me remember lay/lie with complete certainty, and never will be able to, GOD ENGLISH WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DICK ABOUT THIS."

Ugh, who is this fucking LOSER?! Reading her first world problems really made me feel like a much better human being. Maybe that's what she was going for? Hahah

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Example of her readership
::cheering::
I will be 34 in August and there isn’t a sniff of a potential husband in my life. Being partnered and having children have been the only things I have ever wanted for which there is no substitute. I am tired of keeping cheerful about this. I have decided that I can’t afford to be a single parent either, given the lack of family support locally. So there goes that dream. I don’t want pity, I want a husband and children. I have tried ALL the usual strategies, several times over. I feel that this will never happen for me and this sucks.

Stop being a pathetic loser and start developing your own ambitions, your own hobbies, your own interests.

Nobody cares about your desire for a husband and children except for you, and in this life you can't always get what you want. Grow up.

I actually think she's a decent writer for a blogger (compared to "talents" like Shauna Ahern and Dooce) but her incessant whining and pity parties are annoying. She's very mentally ill and I don't see how anyone could sustain a friendship with her, much less a marriage. It'd be too draining.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Twyla Day - A teenage geek sells his soul to the devil, in order to become "cool". He wants to impress (and fuck) Twyla Day, a popular girl who had sold her soul to the devil in order to become popular.

I would also make the following point: In an excuse for an economy, where so many people can't get a job to save their lives (literally), she has the temerity to complain that her baby-daddy was willing and able to land two, in order to pay for her breeding expedition.



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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

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shy lurker
All I can say is fuck her life and she deserved it. I just read in the other thread, IVF is truly a selfish choice due to the fact of all the potential health problems. At least with adoption you can pick a healthy kyd. Giving an orphan a mother and a father is one of the most loving choices to make. I'd rather go through a mountain of bullshit to adopt than to have a premie tard via IVF. Her situation is another reason why I'm childfree.

Not all children are orphans. Many are much longed for, (even IVF?) then when they arrive or reach the terrible twos, Moo Cow abandons the calf as too much work. Then these children are put on the adoption market.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

So, you willingly fork out thousands of dollars for IVF and then bitch about the "indignity" of it? That's like going in for a boob job and bitching that everyone in the hospital stared at your tits.

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Miss_Hannigan
I actually think she's a decent writer for a blogger (compared to "talents" like Shauna Ahern and Dooce) but her incessant whining and pity parties are annoying. She's very mentally ill and I don't see how anyone could sustain a friendship with her, much less a marriage. It'd be too draining.

I'm of the opposite opinion, I think her writing is complete shit for the simple fact that she is so verbose that I doubt there's a person alive who could make it all the way through one of her posts. It takes her 16 paragraphs what others could say in a sentence or two.

Or, maybe it's just that her life bores me so much that I'd like to set myself on fire which is why I never go over there anymore. Pages and pages and pages of what amounts to "I did laundry today" isn't my idea of entertaining reading.

PS Calling her kyd fugly might not be tactful, but unfortunately it's still the truth.

Moo and her herd have no right to get bent out of shape if someone calls her baybee fugly on this site because no one from here went into Moo's barn (Moo's blog) to say it. The person said it in the brat free house. You're inviting yourself into someone else's house when you come in here, and if Moo and the herd don't like the language, unfortunately, you can't censor people's language in their own space. I don't find the baybee to be cute, either, and I personally don't find the fugly comment not tactful, because it was said in private (even though the whole internet can invite themselves in if they want). And what's especially sad was the pic of the oxygen tube on her just because Moo would do whatever it took to have a bay-beeee, even if it means the bay-beeee has to suffer.