Apparently men can't have it all either after sprogging.. Who knew? :drinky

We did!

why men can't have it all either.

This is pretty telling and an interesting take on the usually feminine problem of work/life/kid balance.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

Call the waaaaahhhhmbulance!

All breeders ever do anymore is moan and complain about how haaaard they have it, all the while telling the CF that they are wrong in not sprogging.

Breeders are never frigging happy. There IS no such thing as having it all. That, and the Pope is Catholic, water is wet, and bears shit in the woods. Deal with it like mature human beings, already!

Him quitting his job to become a SAHD was dumb. At least I think it was.

He felt guilty for not being more involved in his kid's life, so he quit his job. But staying home with the kid while his wife worked was equally shitty, because he had no life outside of being a dad. I could see that one coming from a mile away, because staying home with a damn toddler sucks!

I noticed later in the article that they settled for sending the kid to daycare when she's at the office and he's working from home, And when she's off but he's working, SHE looks after the kid. I know the rules of a relationship are whatever those involved agree to, but this just doesn't seem equitable. He is never solo with the kid, but she is.

Men should be doing half the cunt work when they have a kid and probably much more fore 6 weeks while Moo recovers. Often, women are blamed for pushing for kids and oops but I know tons of men, and have in fact dated a few, who had the rabies. High time all these whiny ass men grew up and raised their own spawn.

Dude makes a 6-figure salary and has a loving wife, and I'm supposed to feel sawry for him?!

Seriously though, I don't envy him (or anyone) with kids regardless of financial status. All the money in the world can't make up for the hell that is parunthood. His harkening back to a more sexist time when men were simply "breadwinners" who carried none of the parental duties was offensively stupid though. So fuck him. It's still that way for far too many duhs who share exactly zero of the parenting duties.

If I were a SAHM who's husband worked his ass off to make a six-figure salary to support my ass sitting home all day, you can bet I wouldn't be making him feel guilty for missing story time because he had to work.

Jesus Christ on a bike.

The article says that he is a journalist, but he sounds like one of the surly engineers in our old neighborhood who were stuck with breeder families and their life was all about church and kids. Do you notice how he back pedals and says that his kid's running toward him is the greatest feeling in the world? Yeah, riiiight.

...so he was working 60+ hours per week and didn't realise that a chyld would make this even harder for him? Yeah right... he probably thought "fuck it, the missus can take care of everything" and only agreed to do his share of the parunting once he realised his marriage was on the rocks- and his missus was too tired to put out anymore.

The magazine he edited was Loaded, and for that reason alone I'm finding it impossible to feel any sympathy for him. When Loaded launched in the 1990s it was a genuinely fresh and funny magazine full of great writing. The laddishness it documented was more good clean fun and "ladettes" were welcome to join in the fun- as a woman and a feminist I used to enjoy it and bought it regularly. When times changed and sales figures started to fall they went for what they called the "less words more birds" tactic and pretty much turned it into a soft porn mag in a bid to rival the mindless and sleazy Nuts and Zoo magazines. Daubney is a part of that so good riddance to him for helping to dumb down British media, insult men and objectify women more as if these processes really needed any help.

Daubney actually wrote another whinging and self-pitying article on leaving Loaded, about how becoming a parunt finally made him realise that "crass sexualisation of women" was wrong- most of us realise that without having spawned, thanks. You can read his bullshitting here:

The lads' mag I edited turned a generation on to porn - and now I'm a father I bitterly regret it: A remarkable confession from the longest-serving editor of Loaded

Quote

I started seeing the women in my magazine not as sexual objects, but as somebody’s daughter... I’d think ‘what’s your kid going to think of you when they’re old enough to understand Mummy used to get her boobs out for a living?’

Someone's daughter or someone's moo... still not seeing women as people in their own right, eh? This is of course linked to sprogging- "someone's daughter" matters because some holy moo and duh spawned her, and women shouldn't try to look sexy in case they become a moo one day because moos are meant to be pure and holy and shouldn't have had any sex in the past, apart from the one time they did it to spawn.

Again, it's the idea that only moos and duhs have the right to be offended by nudity, and everyone else is a killjoy or a man-hating feminist. What a despicable man this Daubney is.

"My life had become a charade, switching between diametrically-opposed extremes — nipples by day and nappies by night."

I think that quote from his bullshit article is enough for me to draw a conclusion. I think Duhdy didn't like seeing all the pretty girls that his wife was no longer. Sex and diapers goes together as much as anchovies and caramel churros, as in not at all, unless you're kinky.

The fact is, I think what he's saying is overall bullshit. Honestly, both men AND women are objectified almost equally, everyone just gets more pissed off because women have a history of being objects. And I fucking HATE this whole "saaaave the childrun!" Bullshit he's peddling. Seriously I chose not to have a child because the world can fuck them up after all the work I would have put in. Fuck that.

Quote
catharsist
"My life had become a charade, switching between diametrically-opposed extremes — nipples by day and nappies by night."

catharsist- have you ever heard a new duh joke "boobs have been ruined for me now I've seen their true function"? I think the quote you picked out illustrates that mindset perfectly. Lads' mags may objectify women as sex objects but seeing a woman as a moo (or future moo) is just another form of objectification. He seems to think that women can be either sexualised objects or sexless moos, and that there is nothing else a woman can be. It's interesting that he remembered to note that the glamour model Jordan is a self-made millionaire, why can't he consider any other women (incluing his own wife!) as people in their own right?

It's like the whole Madonna/Whore dichotomy and people talking as if there is no middle ground there, and nothing else a woman can be defined by but her level of sexual activity. Is there also an Immoral Selfish Childfree/Holy Selfless Moo dichotomy?

Pfffft. My husband will vouch for the fact that most married men with children will VOLUNTEER to stay late, take on extra work, or travel in order to spend less time at home with The Harpy and the Screaming Brats. He has had people actually admit it! So yeah, bed made lie, that sort of thing. eyes2

sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
indecision may or may not be my problem

Quote
lisbeth
Pfffft. My husband will vouch for the fact that most married men with children will VOLUNTEER to stay late, take on extra work, or travel in order to spend less time at home with The Harpy and the Screaming Brats.

AKA "home-avoiding", and yes, it's so rife it has a name! I bet Mr Daubney here was doing exactly that and only stopped once his wife cottoned on and pressured him to spend more time with her and the brat.

"I was desperately jealous of Diana getting to see important milestones with Sonny: his first steps, his first word, ‘yellow’, which he just wouldn’t repeat down the phone to me at work."


And men "need" to be at a crotchstain's:

"first words"

"first footsteps"

"first shit"

ad nauseum WHY?

How fucking egotistical can you get.

What else has Duh got to be guilty about? Has he been tasting nipples on the job?

:biggrin2

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Quote
craftyzits
What else has Duh got to be guilty about? Has he been tasting nipples on the job?

:biggrin2

Yes, his 19 year old secretary let him do that. He has never been the same ever since.

All I can say to whinging douchebag duh is this:

It took you having a kid to realise that objectifying women is wrong?

You had a kid and you didn't realise it wasn't going to be a bed of roses? :bedmadelie

Guess what duh?

That will never be me!

If someone offered me a six figure salary but I had to breed to get it, I'd choose poor and CF.

Quote
screaming sausage

Someone's daughter or someone's moo... still not seeing women as people in their own right, eh? This is of course linked to sprogging- "someone's daughter" matters because some holy moo and duh spawned her, and women shouldn't try to look sexy in case they become a moo one day because moos are meant to be pure and holy and shouldn't have had any sex in the past, apart from the one time they did it to spawn.

Again, it's the idea that only moos and duhs have the right to be offended by nudity, and everyone else is a killjoy or a man-hating feminist. What a despicable man this Daubney is.

So so true! This stupid duh is so sanctimonious it hurts. If you were to follow his logic, it's okay to objectify a woman whose parents are no longer alive and who has no kyds because she is nobody's moo and no longer somebody's daughter. eyes2

Quote
yummynotmummy

If someone offered me a six figure salary but I had to breed to get it, I'd choose poor and CF.

I'm the same. No amount of money in this world could make me shit out a loaf.

I don't understand this 'having it all' crap anyway. I can't have Times Sq and Hollywood Blvd in one city, I can't have a relationship and go out chasing boys, I can't have a cat and a dog ( in any case not with my cat), I can't have both blond and brown hair...You gotta decide on what you want ffs. Life is about making choices and compromises.

Quote
rockchick
So so true! This stupid duh is so sanctimonious it hurts. If you were to follow his logic, it's okay to objectify a woman whose parents are no longer alive and who has no kyds because she is nobody's moo and no longer somebody's daughter. eyes2

It's remarkably close to pro-life thinking isn't it? The message here is "GIRLS! Do YOU have a great body and a pretty face? Would YOU like to capitalise on this and go for a career in glamour modelling, and possibly end up a millionaire like Jordan? FORGET IT: you might be a MOO one day, and your right to earn a living is trumped by the right of your as yet unborn, unconceived and possibly even un-planned-for child to have a mother who isn't a "slut" in the eyes of some sleazebag who used to peddle soft porn for a living."

It's like the idea of women being considered "pre-pregnant" and possibly being charged with foetal homicide for drinking when they didn't even know they were pregnant. Daubney is just yet another person who now sees women as incubators on legs, having previously seen them as holes on legs.

[quote="screaming sausage]
Daubney is just yet another person who now sees women as incubators on legs, having previously seen them as holes on legs.[/quote]

Prettyfuckingmuch.

I thought we were over the whole Madonna/whore paradigm these days. We're in the postmodern age ffs.

The guy is just a nasty misogynist prick. I feel sorry for any daughters he ever has.

My Gawd, the whinging is too much to bear.

How do you make it to adulthood thinking that life will all sunshine and roses? Of course you can't "have it all" it really is a game of give and take.

Here's another side of the coin that I don't get: Why would you choose a career where you HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOUR FUCKING HOURS?!

You either know that the hours are insane going into it and you don't mind AND that sprogging won't change that, or you get a career where the hours are set.

I make six figures and work for the government. I am literally not authorized to work more than 40 hours per week without a shitload of justification paperwork and then, we're only looking at a FEW extra hours.

And you know what? That was important to me. I HATE working late and don't want a life where some asshole screams at me to get into the boardroom past dinnertime. Eat a dick, not doing it.

So this guy can stop bitching because :bedmadelie