SAHM Resume Letter

Wow! I'm just SO impressed. I'd hire her! Ok...can't keep up the charade.
Packed full of pathetic for your reading pleasure:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janie-porter/to-the-employer-viewing-my-stay-at-home-mom-resume_b_5901900.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

My reaction after reading that: larious larious larious larious

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

Gosh this is ridiculous! I mean, there are tons of people out there who don't have 'proper' jobs and do creative stuff etc or have part-time jobs so they can pursue their interests and hobbies etc. That's great and we should all be happy that there are lots of different people out there because if that wasn't the case the world would be a really boring place.

But what I don't get is the need moos seem to have to constantly show off how busy they are and how haaaaaaard it is and how raising a loaf somehow requires 'talent'. Nope, it doesn't. If you must have your loaf, just have it and shut up. Is that really that hard to do? eyes2

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popcornculturejunkie
My reaction after reading that: larious larious larious larious

Me too! larious

This moo actually believes that negotiating with a toadler to eat broccoli is good, and that it qualifies her for some kind of work with ADULTS. What a joke! larious

Why would any potential employers care that she's shaping the fyoooture? Unless it's for a job in a day care, nobody is going to care that she can get her kid to eat broccoli. It doesn't fucking apply to the subject at hand. I could be an award-winning goat breeder, an Olympic curling champion and be fluent in Esperanto, but none of that would land me a job in accounting.

Well, there was one thing correct on there - the PS!

Nope. Not a single hard feeling at all *delete*. Like anyone cares what some lowing moo thinks when you toss her non-resume away.

You chose to breed, bed-made-lie.

Sooooo you can carry a life In your body for 9 months? Idk, this Hamster here says she can do it in only 1 month. I think I'm gonna have to hire the hamster. No hard feelings.

Oh man, I hate when moos put their "mothering stripes" on their CVs. They never pass my filter.Keep your breeding habits off your goddamn CV.

If moos want a good CV, they should go out and volunteer and be involved in their communities. They're always complaining how haaaaard it is and how isolated they feel being at home with a tiny terrorist, aka pweshus chyld. So get out there and do something - take a class, do distance learning while the loaf sleeps, volunteer. In the UK you get so many hours free nursery care for kids from the age of two, so there is no excuse for SAHMs not to develop some actual real life skills if they want to enter the workplace. Claiming you can broker world peace just because you can get your toadler to eat vegetables just ain't gonna cut it.

Typical Moo but in her case - she views her fucktrophies a greater accomplishment than being nominated for an Emmy? Her values are really screwed up............

I guess hiring managers are supposed to read that and be impressed that she is doing The Most Important Job In The World (TM) and therefore she must be capable of doing whatever piddling, obviously much-less-important job the hiring manager is trying to fill. She could probably do it in her sleep since in her position as a MOM she is a nurse (put a bandage on her child's knee), doctor (gave her kyd some Tylenol), interior decorator (moved a vase), accountant (counted the change in the bottom of her purse), policewoman (broke up a fight between two of her kyds), lawyer (sent kyd to his room), judge (sent kyd to his room), teacher (told kyd why she sent him to his room), etc.

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beewalt
Sooooo you can carry a life In your body for 9 months? Idk, this Hamster here says she can do it in only 1 month. I think I'm gonna have to hire the hamster. No hard feelings.

BRAVO :jump

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If moos want a good CV, they should go out and volunteer and be involved in their communities.

Exactly. I have done a bit of hiring and don't care that there is some space -- IF you can talk about it. You were caring for your kid or elderly parent, OK. You were following your spouse to a new job? Fine. However, if you were away for more than a year, tell me how you kept up your skills - professional reading, staying active in professional organizations publishing, volunteering? Potty training and making your toadler eat broccoli are SO going to ensure that you get trashed - even if the other candidates have more kids than you do.

Exactly; there are things that anyone staying at home (for any reason) can do.

Further education: many legit universities offer online courses and even entire degree programs.

Professional organizations allow you to stay abreast of latest developments.

Volunteering: I found my company (PR/comm) is feast or famine. During the famine, I picked a couple of nonprofits and volunteered my services. I landed two new paying contracts when I got one story in the news.

Take a hobby and make it a business.

She actually has a nice site and a lot of buzz for a mommy-come-lately to the mooblog game. She would be screwed if not for her former connections to the media.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

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beewalt
Sooooo you can carry a life In your body for 9 months? Idk, this Hamster here says she can do it in only 1 month. I think I'm gonna have to hire the hamster. No hard feelings.

larious

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beewalt
Sooooo you can carry a life In your body for 9 months? Idk, this Hamster here says she can do it in only 1 month. I think I'm gonna have to hire the hamster. No hard feelings.

This made me crack up. Outsourcing breeding to more efficient hamsters!

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny