We Hate Your Kids - and Other Confessions of a B&B Owner

https://www.yahoo.com/travel/we-hate-your-kids-and-other-confessions-of-a-b-b-owner-98677742622.html

Tales from the dark side — a B&B (Illustration: Ryan McCullah)

Plenty of people dream about quitting their day job, buying that fixer-upper farmhouse, and opening a bed-and-breakfast. Those B&B owners seem so happy. Well, everything isn’t quite as idyllic as it seems. We got one set of innkeepers — “Bob and Emily” — to anonymously spill the beans on what really happens behind those perfectly painted shutters.

This week. Bob and Emliy reveal what they really think of your offspring — and guess what, it’s not good.


rest at link

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Reading about the "animal loving angel" who kicked the friendly goat made me stabby!

I also caught the typical breeder line: "I hate all kids except my own."
They don't "lurv kidz", they only worship their own DNA replicants.

Another pet-peeve of mine is kids driving golf carts.
Has anyone else noticed this growing trend where golf carts are being driven around neighborhoods, and pretty much anywhere cars drive?
Why do I pay car insurance/tags/or driver license when I could've just gotten a golf cart when I turned 10?

Yeah, I would love to own a B&B in coastal Virginia, but that shit is going to be small and adults-only. To ensure that, it'll be five bedrooms max, all with a single king-size bed, and a rule of no more than two people aged 21+ in a bedroom. And a store that sells Virginia-made foods, wines, spirits, and crafts and have adults-only cooking classes and wine tastings.

B&Bs are supposed to be a nice, relaxing retreat that's a little more personal than a hotel. It's not for breeders that think that because they're on vacation, that means they get a vacation from parenting, too. Pro tip: if you're dumb enough to bring a kid along, you don't get to check out on parenting. Hire a babysitter to come along or to watch the kids back home. Everybody else paid for their vacation too and it's incredibly unfair and selfish to think they should just put up with your nasty little brats.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

Nothing spoils a B&B vacation faster than when you see kids running around, because you have to be forced-nice to the people you're sharing the house with. The last one we stayed at had an autard who wanted to see our room. The thing had a huge head and glasses and looked like Eggbert from Looney Tunes, and he kept whining and standing by our door. Moo did the autard-mom thing, whispering behind his head "He's aw-TISS-tic, please can he look?" so we let them in just to get rid of them. Kid stomped and ran through the house all weekend.


I'm here to ruin you vacation!

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Miss_Hannigan
Nothing spoils a B&B vacation faster than when you see kids running around, because you have to be forced-nice to the people you're sharing the house with. The last one we stayed at had an autard who wanted to see our room. The thing had a huge head and glasses and looked like Eggbert from Looney Tunes, and he kept whining and standing by our door. Moo did the autard-mom thing, whispering behind his head "He's aw-TISS-tic, please can he look?" so we let them in just to get rid of them. Kid stomped and ran through the house all weekend.

Oh. Mah. Gawd.

Obviously I don't know what your situation was, but I would have been sorely tempted to GTFO pronto and be very clear with the hosts as to why. What a disappointment that you had to put up with that.

"We allow kids because it’s a good revenue model for our location, but we’ve been dreaming of operating one of those 55 and older places since we were 40.".

I'm having a hard time drumming up much sympathy for these people. Is it really worth the stress and hassle and expense? Just get a "no kids" policy and be done with it. Plenty of B&Bs don't allow children because plenty of people, parents included, are looking for a guaranteed peaceful, romantic getaway.

We just got back from a few days in the Idaho wilderness. One night we stayed at a resort along a river that consisted of several little log cabins. Each cabin has its own hot tub on the deck. While not as bad as anything in the article or Hannigan's experience, we had to put up with some famblee-related bullshit. The famblee in one cabin nearest us had two wild brats running around, and as Mr. CC and I enjoyed our hot tub after dark, we could see one of the kids standing at the bedroom window staring at us. Nice. Our cabin was a duplex, and all was peaceful until the famblee staying in the adjoining unit arrived. Then it was loud voices, pounding up and down the stairs, dogs barking, etc. well into the night. At dinner in the resort's cafe, one spermdonor was having trouble getting his brats to behave, which of course made for a wonderful atmosphere. NOT.

We purposely schedule our little vacations during the school year AND during the week, so I don't get why these famblees are vacationing NOW.

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Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan

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CrabCake
We purposely schedule our little vacations during the school year AND during the week, so I don't get why these famblees are vacationing NOW.

Seems these days that a school absence isn't the big thing that it used to be. Parents take their kids on vacation when it suits them, school schedule be damned.

Years back, Dh and I took vacations during the period when we wouldn't expect to see kids. Plus side was that many vacation spots were cheaper during the off-season (typically noted as the time that kids are supposed to be in school). Case in point - the Smokies. We loved to go up there for the fall colors, always scheduling Tuesday - Thursday (kept in mind that sometimes parents would decide to make it a three day weekend). 20 years ago, the area was very quiet on those days. Now, the area is crowded, every day of the damned week. We now scout the back-of-beyond spots, away from areas where fast food and cheap hotels are to be found. Turned out to be an unexpected blessing that we were driven to the back roads. The fall colors are much more beautiful, away from areas of dense traffic.

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Seems these days that a school absence isn't the big thing that it used to be. Parents take their kids on vacation when it suits them, school schedule be damned.

Or they are homeskooling and feel perfectly justified in taking them on vacation so Snotleigh can "experience life" or some crap like that.

I love to go to the beach after Labor Day when school is definitely back in session for the U.S. The problem is, the last time I went in September, there were badly-behaved shrieking, pre-school aged loaves every-fucking-where.

There is just no escape from Breeders and their brats.

That would drive me out of my tree if I had to share a house with brats on my vacation. It's like when I go camping and I am surrounded on all sides by shrieking children that run through my site, etc. I go camping for the peace and quiet! Gah! I wish they had a "family" section of the park where they could shove all the breeders in and leave the rest of us to nature.

We just went to a fabulous, out-of-the way but fairly close to Ithaca, B&B. I've been here a handful of times so the owner is very friendly with us (she also adores DH, as she knew me pre-marriage whiel I was "husband hunting" near the chiropractor school above Cayuga, now that's a story...).

The "complex" she has is on the edge of forestland, and she has beautiful koi ponds. I noticed new brass plaques she has on trees about the B&B not being responsible for any injury. I made a comment about it and she confided that there was a family with children staying in one of the suites, and noone was watching a small toddler ambling towards the pond (the deepest part being 4 feet, but still...). The innkeeper swept in and grabbed the child and the parents were not even concerned in the least, nor did they offer any thanks for her quick thinking. They just blithely went along their way like nothing happened.

Needless to say, DH and I have been married almost 10 years, and the last time we were there was 9 years ago, so the innkeeper didn't even mention "why no kids?". She was more interested in our cat pictures.

We had the place to ourselves practically, with only one other "guest". It was quiet, the only thing at night was the sound of the breeze through the tops of the trees and the faint trickle of water flowing into the koi ponds. Heavenly.

(PS: This place is AWESOME and VERY reasonable if one pays cash. PM me for more info if you plan on taking a Finger Lakes/Winery vacation and are looking for a sanctuary away from the Humvee Limo Winery Tour crowd.)

I didn't know there were any B&B's that allowed kids - most of the ones I knew growing up in CT (and we have some in FL as well) are adults only....I do feel sorry for couples who want to have a romantic getaway but can't when crotchfruit is allowed at one of these places.....

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selidororous
I didn't know there were any B&B's that allowed kids - most of the ones I knew growing up in CT (and we have some in FL as well) are adults only....I do feel sorry for couples who want to have a romantic getaway but can't when crotchfruit is allowed at one of these places.....

Cause, yanno, the sex is only allowed when making another awtard baybee -- otherwise it's eeeebilll! s

Heaven help you if parunts hear the slightest hint of bed springs squeaking, though... "You can't do that, there are chyyyyyyyldrun here! I don't wanna hafta explain that to them!"