diplomatic way of getting around the work question of breeding

Currently I'm 26, female, unemployed and looking for work, generally I suck at interviews because there all worded like Yoda these days, but as you can guess, at 26 and sporting a vag, one of the first questions I get asked in interviews is "do you have any kids" followed swiftly with "are you planning a pregnancy within the next 6 months". when I say no, they show disbelief continuing to ask "am I currently in a relationship".

This shit is like sitting through nails on a chalk board while maintain a pleasent smile, I know it has some relivance to if I'm likely to be absent, or take maternity leave at their expense in the future, but honestly I haven't the slightest clue how to answer them, without insulting, insinuating, or clearly revealing my stance on the CF matter.

If just admitting upfront that I'm cf didn't mean squandering my promotion opertunitys, leave availability, or dealing with people who are openly challenging me in my place of work with clear knowllage of where I stand. Then yeah I'd happily just say it flat outright, but annoyingly it dose.

I wanted to ask my job adviser for how best to tackle these questions in a job interview, but she's pro breeder, I'm not finding any answers across the web, so I thought I'd ask the only people I know who may have had to deal with this exact issue at some point in life, and might be able to share their wisdom to give me ideas.

What would you (regardless of gender) say, if you were at a job interview for a job you need/want, and didn't want to blow it, and they started asking about children or future chances of pregnancy within the next 5 years, but still wanted to keep cf to yourself because its not their business to know or ask.

Is this the US? Because those questions (asked directly) are against the law. And looking around a few quick searches, this country isn't the only place where that type of interview deserves a smackdown.

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Dorisan
Is this the US? Because those questions (asked directly) are against the law. And looking around a few quick searches, this country isn't the only place where that type of interview deserves a smackdown.

Yes, it's the same way in Canada. Employers are forbidden to ask questions regarding family status.

When I interviewed for jobs (back in the 70's and 80's) I did get asked 'Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?" that was a way to see if the applicant saw themselves at home with kids or whatever. Don't remember what I said but they must have liked it because I got just about every job I was interviewed for.

I'm a little younger than you and female and while I'm not searching for long-term employment ATM (I'm in school), I'm not looking forward to this.

We lose either way, it seems. If they think a woman is planning on breeding, they won't want to hire her because she'll either quit or take a long Moo leave (which is one reason I'm opposed to those ridiculous 6 or 12 month Moo leaves they have in some countries). If you say you don't want kyds, they disapprove because you're a baby-hater who doesn't follow the lifescript.

If I were asked that question directly, I would probably say that I was unable to have children.

It sucks trying to find work now. I think that, just by having a vagina, your odds of getting hired anywhere that isn't considered a "female" job (secretary, daycare staff, teacher) drop significantly. Employers can't ask directly about breeding plans or existing kids, so they just assume all women have and/or want brats, which will mean being a flake, a crappy employee, being harder to fire and wanting maternity leave. Frankly, I'd be fine with them grilling me about my reproductive choices if it meant increasing my odds of being hired. But like some folks already said, asking these kinds of questions as part of the interview process is illegal in quite a few places, and if where you live is one of those places, I might be leery of an employer that breaks the law before you even get the fucking job.

There's the blunt way: say you aren't having kids and point out all the reasons why you'd be a better employee than a parent: no constantly coming in late and leaving early, no dealing with baby-daddy drama using work phones, no bringing the kid to work when a sitter falls through, no getting everyone sick with the illness du jour your kid brings home from school. You can make the job a priority, whereas a parent will not. Of course, if the interviewer is a breeder, I don't know how well this would go over.

Or there's the professional way: tell them you have exceptional work ethic and are very career-minded/career-driven and see yourself continuing to be that way. That way, you don't need to discuss your CFness, but you also let them know that there won't be any brats in your future. Maybe try something like "I'm a very career-driven person who is very eager to find work. Having children would interfere with my short-term and long-term employment prospects." Or some such bullshit.

I'm in Australia, its illegal to ask here too, but no one seems to have got that memo, the ones that have still ask but only once conversation is flowing, so it becomes awkward not to respond in some way, which I hate way more. I feel like calling them out on it being an illegal question to ask, but get the vibe I'd be shut down and sent on my way for knowing, or choosing not to respond.

Supposedly if your female within repoducitve age, and haven't had kids yet, the chances that you will are stacked against age, since I'm 26, a normal breeder female Is likely to have kids within the next four to nine years, as opposed to a 21yr old having 14 years to breed, sounds like a more long term employee when the "where do you see yourself in ten years" question comes up.

Which is stupid, I plan to be pretty much running whatever company takes me on by tens years time.

I've also had an interviewer say that when they listed a maternity leave job, the applicants were mostly pregnant trying to get the last few months work, before they took their maternity leave, which would be on their bank books as an employer stupid sneaky moos ruining it for the rest of us.

Some interesting ideas so far, I'm looking forward to what else you come up with, I'm thinking of maybe using the oh we can't have kids, or have tried with no success, so now I've turned my full attention to my career and want to focus on that for a while. But at the same time don't want to make any really concrete things that I might have to backpedal from later, since over here a false application can also be cause for instant dismissal, and I'm already trying to hide my permanent injury's and medical condition to open more employment opportunity's.

The more professional approach also sounds good, but I think it might come off as snarky to a breeder, I wish cf wasn't the minority, so it would be assumed no kids unless specified.

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mumofsixbirds

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Dorisan
Is this the US? Because those questions (asked directly) are against the law. And looking around a few quick searches, this country isn't the only place where that type of interview deserves a smackdown.

Yes, it's the same way in Canada. Employers are forbidden to ask questions regarding family status.

I have been asked these questions on a contract based position - in USA. It was a computer based survey. I left all of those questions blank and survey still went thru and contract was awarded. They ask questions about race over here too, for affirmative action, but, I leave those blank as well.

They law is tricky. It states that they cannot use your race or familial status against you, but I am not 100% sure that it is illegal to ask. They also cannot take action against you if you do not answer. I found it to be safe to NEVER answer such questions or if you do, NEVER be direct.

Many years ago, I have had a nosy breeder ask me once at an interview if I was married. I told him that I am applying for a job and at this time I would like to concentrate on what I can bring to their company as an employee. I also told him: "Since discussing family status in a grey area from the legal point of view, I would rather save this discussion for a later time, hopefully after the position is offered to me". I did get the job and I later found out that because job had overseas travel and some not so kind work environments, they wanted to explain to a guy who may have a family that job had a certain level of risk that could separate someone from their family for a long time or maybe even longer. Did not matter to me

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exile
I wanted to ask my job adviser for how best to tackle these questions in a job interview, but she's pro breeder, I'm not finding any answers across the web, so I thought I'd ask the only people I know who may have had to deal with this exact issue at some point in life, and might be able to share their wisdom to give me ideas.

Try to figure out what answer are they looking for and create a round about answer to what they are looking for.

Or, if you want to be blunt, just go like this:
Q: Are you planning on getting pregnant in the next 12 months?
A: I will not be taking any maternity leave in the next 12 months.

Q: Are you in a relationship?
A: Yes, and we are happy with just his kids. We will not be having any more.
Note: First part is a lie, but they cannot do anything because if he is just your BF, "he just got up and left and took the kids".

Breeders are bitches and feel free to lie, cheat and deceive - all is permitted as we all know from this board that you must fight fire with fire.

Only tell truth where company would 100% benefit from CF and even then be very careful. I NEVER speak truth about my family status. Being a single guy - employers are scared of us. But, "I always live with a GF". I will bring a female friend to a company party if I must, anything. As a guy, to a breeder boss, you look much better if you show up with a different woman to a company gathering every 3 months than you would if you show up alone.

Here is another thing. In a breeder ran companies, yeah, a man looks good if he has a wife and 3 kyds. But believe it or not, a man looks even better if he shows up with a different woman, every single time. Call it what you will, but male breeder bosses actually endorse such behavior when their male counterparts do it. I have seen it and it works.

My theory is that male breeders, they are secret little male whores who could not, out of shame, fulfill their desires. When they see others do it, they sit and try to learn and eventually try to do it. They are drawn to it and want to sit there and watch it like a cat who likes to sit there and watch fish swimming in the fish tank.

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Techie
My theory is that male breeders, they are secret little male whores who could not, out of shame, fulfill their desires. When they see others do it, they sit and try to learn and eventually try to do it. They are drawn to it and want to sit there and watch it like a cat who likes to sit there and watch fish swimming in the fish tank.

that's pretty funny.

ive got some ideas at least from here so far, so Cambion's idea crossed with Techie, some where between, throwing the question back on itself, or upselling how much more useful and reliable I am without kids.

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exile

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Techie
My theory is that male breeders, they are secret little male whores who could not, out of shame, fulfill their desires. When they see others do it, they sit and try to learn and eventually try to do it. They are drawn to it and want to sit there and watch it like a cat who likes to sit there and watch fish swimming in the fish tank.

that's pretty funny.

ive got some ideas at least from here so far, so Cambion's idea crossed with Techie, some where between, throwing the question back on itself, or upselling how much more useful and reliable I am without kids.

LOL - I was trying to be funny

Fun aside, what I have found is that today's workplaces, in large corporations, they are not really about hiring the one who can do the job but rather about hiring someone who "fits in". Person who is doing the interview usually know zero about the job that they are interviewing for. So they just use their personal preference in the applicant selection. To accommodate to that, it is best to be as neutral as possible about breeding, marriage, etc. We all know about the preferential treatment that breeders get in large corporations and that's all that we need to know.

Now, if you are working for small business, where every dime counts, feel free to say that you are CF and will not be breeding and that your career is what is important to you. Even if the company owner is a breeder, they don't want to pay for moo hood if it comes out of their bottom line. Large companies - managers LOVE to waste money on breeders, kyds, male whoring, etc., because they do what they like and someone else is paying.

Remember, breeding is mostly supported with "other people's money". If a company owner, even a huge fundy breeder, has to pay from his or her wallet, breeding is no longer is placed upon the pedestal.

Exile, don't take their shit luv, as their not God, no matter how much they believe they are. Those questions are clearly personal and illegal, and have sweet fuck all to do with the job - for crying out loud, they're interviewing you for a job, not your relationship status and family plans. I too am currently unemployed, and frankly I'm sick to the back teeth of the piss poor attitudes some of these employers have towards interviewees. I have in the past asked the relevance of this to the current job, and flatly refused to give them the satisfaction of prying into my personal life. All they will get from me is that my home life will not interfere with my job, and that is all they're getting - the rest they can bloody well piss off. Yes, you risk not getting a job by not answering, but I wouldn't want to work in a an obvious hole that makes it a priority to know your personal choices and home life... That's something that is separate and private from work, and any decent person should know that.

Perhaps you could answer something like this - Do u have kids/are married?- I am currently interviewing for this position, and I do not understand how having children or being married has anything to do with my ability to perform this job to the best of my abilities.

Are you planning to have children in the next six months? I do not understand the relevance of this question to this interview which centres on my capacity of doing this job? If the concern about me taking maternity leave, well it's as much a possibility as any other female employee of this company, and it isn't of any concern to the company, as it is stipulated in the discrimination act.

If they persist, you have the right to leave an interview, as they are breaking the law, as well as obviously not giving a shit about you - which rings alarm bells and should be reported to the AIO immediately.

@exile: keep in mind that if a company hires you on CF grounds, it is often not all that it is cracked out to be. You maybe working longer hours, doing more work, putting up with more shit and getting less pay than your breeder counterparts.
Like I said, I personally just say the least. The less you say, the less can be used against you.

Being CF is good for business but if you work for a large company, your manager may see that you don't need as much money as a breeder and either pay you less or pass you up for promotions.

From a legal point, let me just be clear about who is protected. Breeders are. Companies cannot deny someone employment because they have kids or want to breed. But, if they deny a CF person a job, you can take legal action but you will not win - especially in Aussie because government there has been so pro-breeder (John Howard's "have a child for Aussie" bullshit), you will not likely get a fair judge.

Q: will you fire up your baybee oven in 6 months?
A: I am here because I want to advance in my career and be the most supportive employee for this company. My work is my priority and my family situation is not that important for this interview as it will be arranged around my work schedule and NOT the other way around.

Personally, if I was asked that in a job interview, I would terminate it on the grounds of asking discriminatory questions that they have no right to know the answer to and I would tell them I was seeking legal advice. But that's,just me - my bullshit tolerance is pretty low, and that's the reason I am mostly self employed these days!

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Techie
A: I am here because I want to advance in my career and be the most supportive employee for this company. My work is my priority and my family situation is not that important for this interview as it will be arranged around my work schedule and NOT the other way around.

Best answer I've ever heard

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yummynotmummy
Personally, if I was asked that in a job interview, I would terminate it on the grounds of asking discriminatory questions that they have no right to know the answer to and I would tell them I was seeking legal advice.

I would, or at least I wish I could, regardless of the question being illegal, I desperately need work, we get unemployment dole money here, but since im in a relationship, not studying, and not a moo or moo to be, I don't even get enough to cover 1 bill in 2 months, I get less than $100 a week, and since I own a house and pets, its poor mr exile who's forking out for all my bills, which im not even remotely okay with. so pretty much, any job I know I can physically do, im trying to get, even if its only temporary, its 2-4 times more income than what im thankful to have now.

but part of that dole money dealie here, means I cant sabotage an application/interview or job, otherwise my money gets cut off completely, and end result I loose my house and possibly my pets. so pretty much once an interview has started, and it gets rolling, they tend to purposely stray into grey or flat out illegal areas, knowing full well that if I decline to answer or just up and leave, they have for the moment the power to have my payments stopped with a single phone call.

even if I can get my payments back by explaining the circumstances, the min penalty while they decide is like a month without payments. I already had to wait 6 weeks from job to unemployment payments, because they couldn't decide if I quit or was wrongfully terminated on the employers false grounds. it was the later, so I should have got on straight away.

this is why im asking for the advice from CF people on how to answer these questions, because most of the time I cant get away without some acknowledgement, but as Techie said

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@exile: keep in mind that if a company hires you on CF grounds, it is often not all that it is cracked out to be. You maybe working longer hours, doing more work, putting up with more shit and getting less pay than your breeder counterparts.

I don't want to risk finally getting hired, only to be treated as a lower class human for having a difference in breeding opinions.

interestingly enough, my next door neighbour, married mother of 4 under 13, is on family benefits, and can afford to send each kid to a different school, wasting fuel on the extra trips across 2 cars, plus diffent after school sports clubs per child (apparently so they can all have their own groups of friends ::brbl), stays at home most of the day and often go's out for a girls lunch with friends, while her husband dose regular hours on baseline wage, and she gets almost as much as I used to get paid in a full time job. meanwhile, i'm next door trying to not lose my house while my partner has to carry it all as dead weight, because I havnt got a human dependant.

For most jobs I say "Children? No! I have birds! I don't have time for children!" and that usually solves it

If they start getting personal I will say firmly "No. I'm not capable of bearing children, ever. I can provide you proof of that if you need me to for insurance purposes, or so you know I won't have to take maternity leave and that you can depend on me."

The downside of this is a lot of my business is weekend work. For some reason employers assume that if you don't have baybeez you must have no reason to not work weekends. Apparently breeding is the only acceptable excuse to not work weekends. I have not found a way around this yet.

Say "I don't work weekends". CF folks need to start owning this shit unapologetically. If I show up and do a decent job over the week, I am OWED a day off when I want one! I am pleased to say that I don't have kids because I do what I fucking want and kids ain't it.

Then again I'm undiplomatic and brash when speaking of my own preferences, so I'm not the best to emulate in breederific contexts.

This thing has been bothered me for quite a while because however you would put it, might be in your detriment. Here are good responses especially the ones who make it clear that your family status is not relevant for the job.

However where i live it's not going to help. In Finland the woman can take one year maternity leave and another 2 year parenthood leave. The men are not entitled to that much leave so it usually falls on the woman to take care of the kid(s). Plus the mother gets salary for all those 3 years and the employer has to hire a substitute so it's basically paying 2 persons but one stays home. Lots of companies lose if they do that so they started to avoid women of childbearing age. It's illegal to ask (some employers though do) so most employers will just make assumptions, considering all women between 25-40 potential mothers and cut them off the list. Anyways there are lots of applicants.

There are lots of cases when the woman has 3 kids in a row ans stays home for 9 years (!!!) while the company pays. Or get a permanent job and gets knocked up soon after it because it's illegal to fire a pregnant woman (Finnish moo forums are filled with these cases). Also when it comes to personal cuts lots of women get pregnant to assure they won't be fired.

We had a similar topic in our Finnish CF group and some women got the job after saying they are CF. But on the other had how can the employer believe you? Lots of women do lie about it. Then it is the danger you might piss off a breeder who considers that a woman with kids needs the job more because there are mouth to feed. Or you can get the job and be put to work extra hours or the shifts that childed won't take. Or you will be discriminated upon sick leave or holidays.

Edit: And it's not harsh only for women. I posted here a while ago how BIL lost his job because a male breeder needed it more...because he has mouths to feed! Although BIL had the necessary schooling and work experience. I encouraged BIL to make a complaint but the employer told him that if he dares to do smth. she would make sure BIL won't EVER get a job. What happened? The male breeder started getting all kinds of "leaves" and guess who covered...BIL of course.

DH applied for a permanent job in the school he's been working for a while as a substitute. The employer said that everything is in his odds. Surprise, surprise...a moo who was always late for work and took all the time free days got it. What happened? DH had to cover for her when she was late or taking free days.

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blackpearl
...In Finland the woman can take one year maternity leave and another 2 year parenthood leave...
...There are lots of cases when the woman has 3 kids in a row ans stays home for 9 years (!!!) while the company pays...
... Or get a permanent job and gets knocked up soon after it because it's illegal to fire a pregnant woman (Finnish moo forums are filled with these cases). Also when it comes to personal cuts lots of women get pregnant to assure they won't be fired...

Seems to me that Finland has made child rearing a path to job security, considering one can get in. I can tell you this, in today's day and age, many people cannot survive 9 years on one job even if they work hard and really try. Companies get bought, sold, moved, etc. People rarely stay that long at a job, by choice or otherwise. To hear that someone can stay at a job for 9 years, paid, and not actually be there and work, to average Americans, that is very unusual. In USA we have a law that mandates 12 weeks of non-paid maternity leave, but, many companies pay that. I don't know for sure, but I think every US based company that I ever worked for had a paid maternity leave and a bunch of other perks. Bigger companies often give returning mothers a pay raise and a promotion to show other moos how much they care, all while working others that much harder to cover for those who are not there.

Blackpearl, the only solution to your situation that I can think of is that you "volunteer" the information by saying some kind of a lie, something along the lines that you take care of a relative's kids and that there is simply no way you will have your own while you are doing that. Or you may say that you are taking care of someone's kids because you "cannot have any of your own". You don't have to be specific on why you cannot have your own, just say you cannot. You kind of have to play that you already have all of the kids that you want to have and that you will not want anymore. This way breeders will back off and people who pay you will be at ease.

ETA: Here in USA, breeding is a ticket to public assistance although public assistance here does not really pay as good as it does in UK, Germany or Australia. On the other hand, there are parts of USA that still have a relatively low cost of living so it tends to balance things out somewhat but not 100%.

Yes, you get lots of benefits here if you breed. I noticed several articles in the U.S praising the Finnish system (i'm referring to maternity leave and free education). What they skip to mention is how high the taxes are here. The higher salary you have the more taxes you pay. These benefits have to come from somewhere, well it's the taxpayer. Add to that taxes on food, vehicles, gas. Some of my American friends said Finland is very expensive country to live in and so it is.

It's true, few people make it to 9 years in the same job place nowadays. But also employers, to avoid discrimination and to not be fooled by women who snach a job and then get knocked up, found the solution: offer women temporary jobs. So you get the contract for one year (or few months) and after one year you can extend it. But there are lots of troubles with these types of contracts because they don't have the benefits permanent contracts have and also it is detrimental for your pensions funds. Basically women have shot themselves in the foot by wanting that long maternity leave and benefits. They claim that they want work and family life balance by getting these benefits but this is actually destroying women's chances on the job market.

Here is a good article:
Men get better jobs and pay than equally qualified women, study finds

Women also reported being asked about their plans for starting a family during the recruitment process, even though this is illegal. Women who did plan to have children were seen as more of an expensive risk by employers compared to men or single women, the study found.

As for lying about kids (having them or caring for them), it wouldn't work where i am because it's a small place and people know each other. The truth would come out immediately.

It's illegal for companies to ask and I would remind them of that. However, it's not illegal to volunteer information. It pisses me off to no end that femoonists have fought for long maternity leaves which puts all other women at a disadvantage; if they really cared about work-life balance, they would be fighting for all working adults to have sabbaticals, which would have the effect of making women appear as less of a liability. So I really don't care if I'm selling them out by stressing that I'm not one of them.

I usually look at the company's policies. If I see that they offer generous parental benefits beyond what the law requires, I'll say nothing. But if there are indications that they don't want to cater to breeders, I'll volunteer information about not having children and not having an plans to, either. I set boundaries early on so I don't find myself taking on extra work. It's less of an issue in Europe anyway, and I work in a male-dominated field so there isn't much maternity leave going on.

I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't get interviews simply because I was female. I'd probably leave a country like that. It infuriates me that in their gimmie gimmie gimmie female breeders have so totally screwed over other women in some countries. Lucky for me, I'm "diversity" in my field: an asset because I make them look good. Therefore I have no problems getting interviews, even in countries which offer a lot of entitlement to breeders.

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blackpearl
...But also employers, to avoid discrimination and to not be fooled by women who snach a job and then get knocked up, found the solution: offer women temporary jobs...

Anytime that there is a law that mandates something and such mandate is costing a business money, someone, someplace, at some point, is going to be looking at ways to circumvent such law.

What sucks about all of this is that in such cases things tend to swing like a pendulum. They go from one extreme to another. In this case, instead of getting a lengthy paid maternity leave, people are getting hammered and are not able to find jobs or any kind of income.

What is good about things swinging like a pendulum is that people will attempt to circumvent what employers do and at some point, things may just go the other way, but, I am not sure when and if at all.

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blackpearl
...But there are lots of troubles with these types of contracts because they don't have the benefits permanent contracts have and also it is detrimental for your pensions funds...

This is yet another example of things going from one extreme to another. Some are benefiting greatly from the system while others are left holding the bag and paying for others to benefit.

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blackpearl
As for lying about kids (having them or caring for them), it wouldn't work where i am because it's a small place and people know each other. The truth would come out immediately.

I live in a big city, people are known to do all kinds of pranks around here. Lying about having kids and getting a job and better pay of it is the least of it.

In your case, your only card that you can play is that you say that you physically cannot have kids. But, that's a double edged sword - you could be forced to work a lot more for a whole lot less.

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yurble
..if they really cared about work-life balance, they would be fighting for all working adults to have sabbaticals, which would have the effect of making women appear as less of a liability...

Sometimes, those who initially start out as fighting for the equal rights, they end up gaining more than a fair share. From the political point of view, it is the squeaky wheel that always gets oiled. It was cheaper for them to give special privileges to a relatively small group of women of child bearing age than to try to give something to everyone.

A similar but different situation has happened with gay marriage. Gays wanted the same rights that heterosexual couples had in marriage. Understandable, but, guess what? Now that gays are able to get married, single people are getting dinged from every direction. It was cheaper to please a very small group of people than to actually ask one question. Why is marriage is affording so many unequal rights to begin with? Why is it legal to charge single men higher car insurance rates and higher health insurance rates without a warranted history and proof that such single man actually did cost a company more money? Why do single people pay higher taxes? Why do single people pay higher credit card interest rates and higher mortgage rates? On home loan application, one must disclose if they are married, single or if they have any dependents. Yes, us, ebil single spinsters, yeah, you know what breeders would say about us.

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yurble
I usually look at the company's policies. If I see that they offer generous parental benefits beyond what the law requires, I'll say nothing.

Sometimes, depending on the company, their benefits and information is not really posted online and handbook is not really available to read by anyone except employees. It is a bag of tricks at best.

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yurble
It infuriates me that in their gimmie gimmie gimmie female breeders have so totally screwed over other women in some countries.

There are no huge maternity benefits that are required by law in the USA, but damages that have been done by breeders, male and female ones, are clearly visible. Men with kids earn more, get promoted more often and are much less productive at the same time. Men without kids but who want to breed are even worse, because they do even less and whine even more.

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yurble
Lucky for me, I'm "diversity" in my field: an asset because I make them look good. Therefore I have no problems getting interviews, even in countries which offer a lot of entitlement to breeders.

I work in a man dominated field and for same exact "diversity" reason, they hire women of child bearing age. We are told upfront that we are not allowed to complain about them in any way and that NO productivity goals apply to these women because they MUST be employed for our company to exist. Last 2 women, when hired, they already had 2 kids. They both had a 3rd one. Good stuff.

I keep wishing that as the company is expanding they they would hire some CF women but that is not happening in any way. I think that it is due to political correctness that they hire breeders and allow them to do as much or as little work as they want to.

A friend of mine worked at a small business some time ago and owner there, to keep costs low, would only hire women who were age 45 and over. Yes, they showed up on time and did very good work, but I think there has to be some other way, because women 18 to 45 need incomes too.

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Techie

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blackpearl
As for lying about kids (having them or caring for them), it wouldn't work where i am because it's a small place and people know each other. The truth would come out immediately.

I live in a big city, people are known to do all kinds of pranks around here. Lying about having kids and getting a job and better pay of it is the least of it.

In your case, your only card that you can play is that you say that you physically cannot have kids. But, that's a double edged sword - you could be forced to work a lot more for a whole lot less.

That's also kind of my only solution if i try to find work in the area where DH lives. However it is really hard to find such work here if i want it to be in my field (museums and other cultural institutions) because there are only two museums and an art gallery here.

I can search in other parts and play the infertility card. If the work is in my field i wouldn't mind doing extra hours. I have a part-time job in my field right now and i did lots of extra time (paid of course). It doesn't bother me because it's a field that i love and enjoy a lot. Also the work environment is great. But if i'm to work in a totally unrelated field just to have a job and income to survive, doing extra work and being used so breeders can get their perks...well, i'm not sure how i'd like that.

It depends a lot of the field you are aiming for and then of course the company you are applying for. You need to know them first in order to plan your tactic. In my case all the jobs i applied for are temporary so the kids question didn't even come up. If you get knocked up then bye bye contract extension. Simple as that.

Actaully went for a work experience interview the other day and I didn't get asked at all about am I going to have kids, they booked it for 3 p.m. and I admitted that I forgot about school time zones for traffic and had turned up slightly late because of it, I think for this very reason they didn't ask whether I had kids because I hadn't even considered school time zone speed difference's at 3 p.m. I said I was free so I wasn't busy during the whole school run rush the most moos wouldn't be able to interview at.

But yes the hours are afternoon to about 2am, so not your standard hours, but I'm hoping this means less kids in the venue by 9pm and childfree from then on, I'm actually kinda happy about the hours since there the times I'm most alert, and less likely to accidently sleep in, but it means I don't get to see my partner as much since he works the 9-5 norm, but for now its only work experience to finish my certificate,

Plus of all the rotating hours I've ever worked, I did like the night the most, mornings always ment I was tired and getting stuff during kiddie home time around that 3pmish area.

I did manage to get the placement for the work experience and I'll start that Friday so that's great, I'm hoping that it will eventually lead to a job and that I'll enjoy it, and perticuarlly the fact that they never asked about did I have kids or was i going to have kids, in my book is a huge win so I already like them more because they didn't ask.

I don't really want to play the whole I can't have kids cut because then if I ever show any kind of annoyance about being around kids they may view it as I might be just jealous or spiteful of others who can or something I did speak to my employment advisor about whether or not I should mention my inflammatory bowel disease condition cause I wanted some kind of answer for when I get a flare up and take a bit longer in the bathroom or have to go to the toilet more frequently, they said i should say that my condition is female related, which i agree would make most people back off and give me some privacy especially if i say its very personal or is a very private sorta condition.

I'm nervous as shit about it sooo of course my stomach is getting upset and making me feel super sick and lathargic. I'm not so worried about them asking later if I have brats, I've been practicing some lines like (I know you're trying to be polite by making small talk trying to get to know me but I prefer to keep home separate from work and work seperate from home so I don't really discuss the topic of family)

which i think is a pretty good way to get around being asked, but at the same time is relatively polite and most people can respect that point of view, to which I can ask them a question to keep the ball rolling, this also gets away from my past with my perants being one of my previous employers.

Double win