Divorced Women & Last Names

Not to start any flame wars, or anything, but why should women be expected to take their husbands' names in the first place? Why do men get to "keep" their identities, and women are expected to relinquish theirs? I know it's just a social norm, and people are free to ignore it, but very few women choose to keep their own names, even in this day and age, and it's stil EXTREMELY rare for a man to agree to take the woman's name.

a friend of mine, a andrew lee, got married, and his wife hyphened her name (he is still andy lee) so thats a bit of a combination, she became lee- (i forget her last name)

My husband said he didn't care whether I took his last name or not, and I decided to take his last name anyway. I have a friend who, upon getting married, decided to keep her maiden name. It's all dependent upon a woman's personal choice, and for some, it's a big deal; others not. Now, if a guy is DEMANDING that his bride-to-be take his last name, that's another issue.

I actually work with a guy who did take his wife's last name, which I thought was pretty cool, though a hyphenated one of both their names would have been quite awesome. I also had a couple friends who combined their last names into one new last name.

I always thought that if a guy I was to marry would volunteer to take my last name, I would be very, very impressed by that gesture. It's not because I'm an ego-maniac (heck, I don't even like my last name). It's just that his ability to do so would prove that he's:

1.) not afraid of "what people would say"
2.) willing to buck tradition
3.) doesn't feel his "manhood" is threatened by taking the woman's name
4.) is incredibly progressive and open-minded (at least in that regard)

Super sexy!!

I don't really care what a woman does.

But ITA with the original poster. A breeder acquaintance of mine was married to a guy who started lying and cheating with a married friend of hers and others. He left her...she was on her way to work when he told her he was moving out the next day. After he left, she found out he had given her MULTIPLE STDs. (She was faithful throughout their 20+ year marriage.)

I asked her if she was restoring her maiden name. She informed me she couldn't possibly do that because of Princess Snotleigh, who, incidentally, is an ungrateful brat. She doesn't want Snotleigh to feel awkward at skool! Oh, the horror!

I'd be removing that loser's last name so fast his head would spin. This woman is a total slave to her daughter's every whim, so I guess it's no surprise.

I can't see keeping an ex-husband's name, either, for any reason. When I got divorced, I took back my maiden name...I wanted nothing to assiciate me further with that wannabreeder asshole!

When I married Catdaddy, he said it was completely up to me about taking his last name. I thought about keeping mine, simply because changing all of that shit (drivers license, social security, bank accounts, etc.) over again would be a hassle.

But upon further thought, I decided to take his last name. My maiden name is really my father's name, and my father was an asshole. So I really didn't want his name, either. I could have just changed my last name to something completely different, but I chose to take my husband's name instead.

I have a friend who refused to take her husband's last name, simply because she didn't like the name. That's as good a reason as any!

I took my husband's name only because I like it better than my maiden name. I'm glad I had a choice.

I had friends who got married and took each other's last names as their middle names. I thought it was cool. They were married for 15 years and just got divorced.

I kept my maiden name. DH & I are of different ethnicities, so I did it to avoid confusion. Anyone who's ever seen the "Donna Chang" episode of Seinfeld will get it. I lived that episode for awhile...

I'm a fair way behind the eight-ball here. There is no way I'd get married. Consequently I have my name and my partner his. I'd never take anyone else's last name.

I was in an odd situation a while ago though because I had a male mentor tell me I 'needed to think about my professional name'. I said that my current name (a derivation my original) was fine - along with my surname. He emailed back to say 'no I mean it - you really NEED TO THINK'. I wondered if there was something WRONG with my name, whether the derivation was unprofessional - whether he meant I should keep my birth name which I have not used for nearly 30 years.. Then it hit me. Of COURSE! I am a WOMBYN! I am expected to MARRY and he KNOWS I have a mayun - of COURSE I should marry NOW and take my mayun's name because WHEN I change names it will mean the difficulty of changing my professional name.

So no - there is no legal obligation to take a man's name - but in many contexts it is still assumed that this is what women will do.

Meanwhile I have plenty of friends who have bred without marrying - their objections to marriage are the same as mine. Almost all have insisted that the kid have their (that is the woman's) last name - and good for them!

There is no reason that a kid should take the duhd's name - and especially considering that it is the woman who gestates and squeezes!

I was married for 12 years (I'm widowed) and did not take my husband's last name. There were enough women with his last name, since I was his 5th (yes, fifth) wife. Interestingly enough I got questioned about it by women that I thought would understand, doctors.

It was funny as hell when people would send us cards or invitations to both of us. If it was my friend it would have my last name and his friends .. it would have his last name. Most of them didn't even realize we had different last names. It really pissed him off to get called. Mr (my last name), which was amusing to me. lol

I work in a medical office an a lot of the computer programs for patient information are not set up to do hypenated names, so that is usually a nightmare.

I've always had the same name, and I'm not sorry.
PS