Stupid Twat: This is what happens when you MUST. FOLLOW. THE. SCRIPT.

I've ranted before about my former friend Grandmoo, who has a fatal disorder but is now, at 60+, the full-time daycare provider for her daughter's kids. My friend worked hard at a job for 35 plus years and this is how she is spending her Golden Years, running after grandtwats. So glad this will never be my life.

Every time I speak with her, she is complaining how tired she is and talking about her son-in-law. He's irresponsible, etc. Her daughter's story is that she dated him all though high school and college and several years after that. They had an on-again-off-again relationship and they married in their mid-20's. Grandmoo and her husband never liked this guy and they told the daughter not to marry him.

They separated at the TWO MONTH MARK, separation agreement, the whole nine yards. They went to marriage counseling for a few months, reconciled, and the daughter got pregnant a few months later. I remember expressing caution at the time but GrandMoo was all, "yay! baybees!" as if it was the greatest thing in the world. When she confided in me that things were rocky but her daughter was going to have another one I told Grandmoo that I was concerned about her health and watching kyds. I asked if she planned to advise her daughter not to have another kid while things were rocky. She jumped down my throat and told me that she wasn't going to be like my mother and tell her daughter what to do. (Low blow.) I told her that my mom is nosy and interfering, but she would be perfectly within her rights to say, if you have another kid in a bad marriage, I'm not watching helping you take care of this kid.

Grandmoo just said "if they give me another baybee to watch, I'll watch another baybee." Predictably they separated one month after kid #2 was born.

Today, Grandmoo sings a different tune. She says they never should have had any kids but Grandmoo "couldn't" interfere because "her biological clock was ticking." Her dumb cunt of a daughter, whom I cannot stand (barely speaks to me when I'm in the house) had a Life Plan^TM and she wanted to have a child before she was 30. Who cares if she's married. to the wrong person, right?

They are separated now but the daughter is not pursuing divorce because she is afraid she'll have to pay chyld support. (She has the better job. Grandmoo is constantly ranting about how "unfair" this is. No sympathy here--men have been paying for ages.) Cunt daughter is also not pursuing divorce because she doesn't want her kyds to be around a step-mother. This is because when they were first separated, Dud hooked up with another woman who had kyds and on the weekends when he had custody, and one of the woman's kids was beating the crap out of one of cunt daughter's kyds. The kyd had bruises on her, but OF COURSE, Dud didn't want to say anything to the girlfriend because he was getting some Poontang.

I've worked Grandmoo out of my life. We were once great friends, and she is actually a smart person. I used to value her advice, but I can't watch her ruin her life, nor do I have the stomach to hear about the son in-law.

She's hardly noticed that I'm no longer around.

Yes, the SIL is an asshole but I believe the daughter is an even bigger asshole. She has a good job but lets her mother be the daycare provider. My friend is spineless. She was sick for most of the Winter and Spring and constantly bitches about how tired she is. When I dared suggest the obvious--how about if CuntDaughter pays for daycare? You would think I asked for a retroactive abortion.

I'm just done. Baybees ruined plenty of relationships when I was in my 20's. I watched formerly cool people turn into sanctimonious, chyyld-obsessed assholes when they sprogged. The thing is, I thought I could have friendships with people when the approached their "golden years" but so many people in my age group CANNOT WAIT to yoke themselves to brats again. d

tldr: brats ruin everything.

What an utter waste to work so hard for so long and then not allow yourself to spend the time you earned relaxing and partaking in hobbies. There are likely some deep psychological issues going on with your buddy here; we teach people how to treat us.

I think she's consumed by guilt.

I have an aunt who is similar. Breeder cousin has 2 brats from two different daddies and lives with her mom. Breeder claims that she "helps out a lot" by, for example, cooking dinner every night and doing the dishes, but my family doesn't believe her.

Aunt is nearing her senior years and just worn out and stressed. I believe that the stress and exhaustion of taking on the task of at least helping to rear her grandbrats could kill her eventually.

Both kids are spoiled -- which isn't in and of itself an issue if they appreciate it, IMO -- only problem is they don't have the money to spare. If you have to put a 100-200+ dollar game system on layaway for Christmas, then you cannot afford it. Breeder cousin, however, has to have her daily 2-3 beverages. Imagine how much money she could have saved for the game system if she give up even ONE beverage a day.

I don't think layaway is necessarily a bad thing, BTW -- it's spending money you don't have to please a child who may or may not even care about the product after the novelty wears off.

My aunt also seems to have little to no identity outside of her kid and grandbrats.

As far as I know, she doesn't do much besides work and take care of them.

She doesn't even date -- which is okay -- but, for her, I think she'd really like to meet a man.

This Grandmoo is pushing her limits, that's for sure.

Normally, once a breeder always a breeder!
Breeders don't have any identities outside their families.
They are completely consumed with their breeder drama.

Over at TCFL, "veterans" posted that they tried to reconnect
with old friends in the hope that now when their chyldren
were adults that they could have good contact again.
Nope, the breeders talk nonstop about their chyldren
and grandchyldren, it's like a never ending soap opera.

I've noticed this too. It's like these days it's the grandparents role to actively participate in raising and caring for grandbrats or even do it alone. Moo is too tired and stressed to do it, moo is too sensitive, moo works so hard, moo needs help...

The grandmoos do it because they want to, even if it damages them. It's like another version of biological clock, where they see their own immortality in the grandkids. A lot of people can't handle getting old or the prospect of death and chasing the brats makes them feel at least psychologically like a younger version of themselves, reliving when they were a moo. Hey, I'm acting as moo so I'm 26 years old, not 66, yeah, right, you'll not make it to 70 if you keep it up. It also allows the moos to slack so when the grandmoo does finally run out of steam the moo doesn't know what to do and the older kids have to deal with losing their caregiver and having a spoiled loser moo who can't deal with them.

Hell there are people who are in their sixties or even seventies raising grandbrats and taking care of geriatric parents at the same fucking time. The elderly parent will be the one to suffer or get kicked to the nursing home when the caregiver can't do it all anymore, the moo and grand brats will come first.

I tend to like chatting with older people. Retirees, even though I am mid forties, as people that age have adult kids living their own lives. I honestly could not be friends with an older person with grandbrat drama as it would be as bad as it is with younger families. The older people I know all have adult kids who can totally 100% support their own kids and the grandparents just see them when they visit

My parents always thought dating in high school was a bad idea and sometimes, in spite of all the crazy stuff they did, I think they might have been right. These relationships rarely last and if they do, they're often full of problems. Also, if the parents don't like the child's partner and make that clear, that often drives them closer together. I think in many cases, people like this get frozen in time in the past and don't really grow much, making it harder to move into the adult world.

Just a thought.

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JohnDrake
My parents always thought dating in high school was a bad idea and sometimes, in spite of all the crazy stuff they did, I think they might have been right. These relationships rarely last and if they do, they're often full of problems. Also, if the parents don't like the child's partner and make that clear, that often drives them closer together. I think in many cases, people like this get frozen in time in the past and don't really grow much, making it harder to move into the adult world.

Just a thought.

I think you hit the target. People who marry their high school sweethearts, particularly this day in age, seem to never really grow up. The odds of these marriages lasting are quite slim, but of those that do I find so many to feature immature people or those who harbor bitterness or resentment. Being locked into a legal marriage at such a young age stunts and restricts a person's potential.

I used to be friends with a grandmoo who wouldn't STFU about her divorced daughter and her grandbrats. I mean she wouldn't STFU for two seconds!

She would go on and on and on, literally until my ears would bleed. It's a shame, because she really was a nice person, but she was seriously consumed with her daughter and grandbrat drama. So much so, that I had to drop her as a friend because I couldn't take it anymore.

We had a family like this at the library. Mom was nowhere to be found, just dropped two preschool-age kids on grandma and grandpa, and disappeared.

Grandma and Grandpa were NOT young. The woman was severely debilitated and used a walker, and then a wheelchair. The man got sick, went downhill rapidly over the course of a year, and then died. Grandma is still alive, but there is no way in her precarious state she can look after those kids. I have no idea how things turned out.

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StudioFiftyFour

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JohnDrake
My parents always thought dating in high school was a bad idea and sometimes, in spite of all the crazy stuff they did, I think they might have been right. These relationships rarely last and if they do, they're often full of problems. Also, if the parents don't like the child's partner and make that clear, that often drives them closer together. I think in many cases, people like this get frozen in time in the past and don't really grow much, making it harder to move into the adult world.

Just a thought.

I think you hit the target. People who marry their high school sweethearts, particularly this day in age, seem to never really grow up. The odds of these marriages lasting are quite slim, but of those that do I find so many to feature immature people or those who harbor bitterness or resentment. Being locked into a legal marriage at such a young age stunts and restricts a person's potential.

My one year in public middle school, my parents objected to the fact they sponsored school dances and even had an 8th grade prom. They thought that was ridiculous and kids that age(11-14) were too young for it. Since my parents flat out banned dating or attending school dances, I caught a lot of hell and was even branded gay because I wouldn't do these things. Pushing kids to pair up at younger ages is a bad idea and the kind of stuff in the original post can often be the result.

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cfdavep
I tend to like chatting with older people. Retirees, even though I am mid forties, as people that age have adult kids living their own lives. I honestly could not be friends with an older person with grandbrat drama as it would be as bad as it is with younger families. The older people I know all have adult kids who can totally 100% support their own kids and the grandparents just see them when they visit

That's the way to do it. Grandbrat drama must take such a toll on the health of an older person. The thing people always said they liked about being a grandparent is that they do stuff with the kids then the kids go home. I suppose that is politically incorrect now, because everyone is supposed to want to be the village doing the work the parents are too lazy to do.