Women getting crap advice to bend over for sprogs

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_my_ex_is_asking_me_to_babysit_the_child_he_had_with_the_woman.html?ref=yfp

I have always noticed that women get advice to just bend over and put up with other people's bull and like it. This woman married and had a kid. Duh had an affair and other woman gets knocked up. The woman divorces his ass and he marries girlfriend. After marriage they have baybee #2 who turns out to have major health problems and ex hubby asks his ex to take in Bratley #1 while moo and duh practically move into the hospital. The ex-wife refuses. Prudance tells her to take the kid in and look after it because she knew a woman in the exact same situation who looked after "affair sprogs" and ended up in the long run with a bigger more open family and after all the sproggies are innocent in all this so because of this the ex wife owes hubby.

First of all, the ex-husband has a lot of fucking nerve to even think to ask his ex-wife to spend any money, time, and energy on the kid he created when he was fucking around behind her back. She has absolutely no obligation or responsibility towards her ex, his new wife, or his new kids. Not to mention, how can she be expected to treat this child equally to her son?

Fuck Prudence. Easy for her to say stupid shit like that from her ivory tower. "Oh, take in the reminder of deep betrayal and heartbreak because children make everything better!" The proper advice is: "Tell him no, that he has a lot of nerve, and that the sickly child is karma on the both of you for being shitty people."

LW needs to offer up her sister and book club members as the babysitters since they seem to have opinions on what other people should do. People lose their minds when there are children involved and the bonus of one of them being sick and think others should be doormats. Bad enough this guy cheats on his wife and and marries his whore-on-the-side, but then to ask repeatedly for his ex-wife, who he betrayed so cruelly, to take in the unholy spawn so he and WOTS can abandon it and focus on Sickleigh. He's clearly trying to take advantage of somebody he had already taken a giant dump on and thinks that using his sick kid as leverage absolves him of the guilt and responsibility of being a cheating piece of shit.

Some of the commenters are idiots: "But it's your son's siblings!" So fucking what? I have no obligation to the halflings because they are not mine and I'm not their stepmother. "It's not the children's fault!" No, it's not, but it's not my fucking fault, either. Why is the onus on me? "Be the bigger person!" I am, by not going out of my way to destroy my ex and his whore's lives. Being the bigger person doesn't mean continuing to be taken for a fool.

And I bet these cheating assholes are expecting the ex to take in their child for free, i.e., not provide a monthly stipend because they have a sick kid and they can't be expected to pay for the proof of their infidelity. Hell, I bet the cheating asshole is going to go to court to have child support reduced by using the sick kid card.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

I'm not reading the comments for my own sanity. Internet commenters generally make my blood pressure skyrocket.

I wonder if the letter writer's sister would do the same thing if it had happened to her.

NO.

I come from a broken home. Don't get me started.

And in this case - it doesn't even look like they're trying to 'be famblee' (as Prudence admonishes them to do as well) - It comes off to me like Duh / New Famblee want to unload their problems + are scrounging for free child care.

Uh, NO. ESP if it is not your kid.

I don't know how I could relate to this - As a CF - I've avoided such messes.

Most of my relatives are straight up assholes which is why I don't associate with them.
This can be a positive thing actually - because it cuts down on Famblee Parties, Babby Sitting, All Types Relative Babby Stalking ~
So really - this is a positive! wink

So are both of the new wife's kids the cheating husband's bio-brats? If so, then does that mean he shoves his affair kid in the face of the kid he had with his ex and tries to make them be nicey-nice because they're half-related? What, there's nobody else in their entire town who lives nearby enough to watch the kid? I assume Duh wants his ex to watch his bastard for free too, because bawww, poor them and their busted babby, you can't expect them to pay money for child care! Hey, if they want free brat-sitting services, they can look for some local pedophiles to dump the kid on.

I'm sure life is difficult for poor widdle fickle-dicked Duh and his piece on the side turned wifey having a defecto-loaf, but that is in no way the ex's problem. Duh and Side Dish rolled the dice, came up with snake eyes, and that is 100% their responsibility. Even if the ex is being "vindictive," I think she's well within her rights to be when her ex has the balls to insist she watch his affair spawn for him. No, it's not the kids' faults they were born, but that doesn't mean this woman has to accept them with open arms. If it hurts the affair spawn's peewins, then too fuckin' bad. Maybe, unlike her parents, she'll grow up understanding that cheating on your spouse and breeding with the side dish is a shitty thing to do.

I hope LW 1 doesn't cave and do anything to help her ex and his new wife. If she does, the "lesson" she'll teach her son is, women are gullible idiots who will gladly tolerate being treated like doormats in exchange for a few hints of tepid appreciation-a lesson he's sure to pick up on and try to apply to his own future relationships, romantic or otherwise.

Bad advice. This woman is only responsible for her children, not for his. I'm not surprised he asked her to do it since in my opinion, anyone who'd cheat on their spouse is capable of doing just about anything.

The only thing the LW should do is have her lawyer send a letter to ex to say that child support is due in full on due date and dealing with sick loaf's problems is no excuse for missing child support payments.

If I was the LW I would suggest to ex that his current WOTS (you know he already has one or one on deck) bratsit other brat.

She has no obligation to ex and WOTS's brat, and by bratsitting for free, she's teaching her kyd to be a doormat and that the half siblings are more important. Even if he offered to pay her double market rate and sign a contract her attorney drafted, I would still tell her to say no.

Yet another reason I'm glad I'm Childfree.

"No" is a complete sentence and this is where the LW is making a huge mistake. By justifying and asking for everyone else's opinion when she has already made up her mind, she gives off the air that this open for discussion. She needs to tell the ex that she has already answered this question but just to make it clear, she is saying no one more time to current and future requests for babysitting services. She needs to also tell him any future requests, conversations or guilt trips will result in her hanging up, and then actually do it. Put the responsibility back where it belongs, which is on the ex. She needs to have the same conversation with any other people who insist on discussing the issue.

I'm surprised she even took the question to prudie to begin with, i mean their is no question, either the ex wife wants to look after her ex's infidelity reminder brat, or she dosent, if she dosent, the ex cheater needs to take it elsewhere, plus what nerve, asking his ex such a thing, add insult to injury much?

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evilchildlessbitch
"No" is a complete sentence and this is where the LW is making a huge mistake. By justifying and asking for everyone else's opinion when she has already made up her mind, she gives off the air that this open for discussion. She needs to tell the ex that she has already answered this question but just to make it clear, she is saying no one more time to current and future requests for babysitting services. She needs to also tell him any future requests, conversations or guilt trips will result in her hanging up, and then actually do it. Put the responsibility back where it belongs, which is on the ex. She needs to have the same conversation with any other people who insist on discussing the issue.

I'd just add a few other words to 'no.'

Nanny. Find one. Like, yesterday.

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barbur

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evilchildlessbitch
"No" is a complete sentence and this is where the LW is making a huge mistake. By justifying and asking for everyone else's opinion when she has already made up her mind, she gives off the air that this open for discussion. She needs to tell the ex that she has already answered this question but just to make it clear, she is saying no one more time to current and future requests for babysitting services. She needs to also tell him any future requests, conversations or guilt trips will result in her hanging up, and then actually do it. Put the responsibility back where it belongs, which is on the ex. She needs to have the same conversation with any other people who insist on discussing the issue.

I'd just add a few other words to 'no.'

Nanny. Find one. Like, yesterday.

I wouldn't just because it opens up the conversation for the ex to whine that he can't afford a nanny or some other whine. I might add a few profanities before my no though.

Fuck you Prudie! She'll be "helping out a hurting little girl?!" Maybe she's hurting because moomy and duhddy are willing to schlepp her off to whoever else will take her, including a woman who clearly doesn't WANT her. Here's a thought, how about Duh takes responsibility for paying attention to and raising his first two kyds that are alive and well and prepared to hate him instead of concentrating on the fucked-up babby? Get your shit together and figure out how to RAISE YOUR FUCKING KIDS. Doesn't sound like any of these children are at all important to the duh since he clearly only thinks of himself and where the next fuck is coming from. He just keeps ignoring the old ones for the new. I would never in a million years be able to pull this off without Cinderella-level stepmothering. Maybe that makes me a shitty person, but I'm not shitting out kids precisely for this reason.

Oh, and to reap the benefits of a large and happy family? Eat a dick, Prudence, I'm not interested.

Prudie is dead wrong. No way is the first wife responsible or required to care for his ex-husband's fuck trophies. If that was me, I'd tell the ex NO. He could wheedle and wine and cry, my answer would be NO. And I'd relish telling him what I thought of him and his slut new wife.

@barbur
Ha ha, love the little comic clip

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exile
@barbur
Ha ha, love the little comic clip

Yeah, it's one of my favorites.

Ooh, the letter writer would get the bonus of a "bigger open family"? What the hell kind of reward is that? Had she agreed, she would have opened the door for more requests from the whore and her kin.

Screw you Prudence, it's not 1965 any more and women don't need to be the mandatory peacekeepers of the family.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Uh no, just no. Fuck that noise!