Annoying radio ad begging for food

I was driving and there was this really annoying ad begging for food. One of the voices that talks between songs (Are these people called Djs?) started reminiscing over a violin track. She said things like "when I was a girl, my mother had to work two jobs to afford a single box of macaroni and cheese because she was married to a man who chose the bottle over his family." Maybe I am being a bitch but my first thought was "this is why you don't go and have kids with someone you just married." I don't want kids, but it would seem only sensible to wait to see your partners tendencies before you go and do something irreversible. Then she goes on to say that "too many kids are going hungry" and implies that you can solve the problem by being generous and donating a backpack filled with food. No. Begging for donations on the radio is not how you solve the problem. You solve the problem by not producing consumers. Let's say you have a village that gets 10 pieces of bread a day, every day, ad infinitum. You have 10 villagers (for the sake of the anogy let's say a piece of bread provides enough nourishment a day to stave off starvation.) If the village has 10 pieces of bread and 10 consumers, you don't add another consumer and then go to the next village over begging for food. You. stop. producing. consumers. It really isn't that hard. I don't understand why these people insist that solving the hunger problem is EVERYONE's responsibility. No lady, feeding your kids is your job. This villager has already decided not to have kids, the rest is on you.

Poor woman forgot she has a brain to make practical decisions with!

Also WTF at two jobs were needed to afford macaroni!

Quote
contemplativeintrovert
She said things like "when I was a girl, my mother had to work two jobs to afford a single box of macaroni and cheese because she was married to a man who chose the bottle over his family."

Who picked the man?

Nooo. I worked less than part time as a kid. I was able to afford to buy boxes of macaroni and cheese anytime I wanted. It was one of my absolute favorites and I made sure there was always some around.

Quote
contemplativeintrovert
she was married to a man who chose the bottle over his family

Some men are drunks before the kids arrive but some men start drinking after the kids come along. Most looser men have one thing in common - they want to breed ASAP. Some insist on breeding before the knot is tied. I have not seen many cases where a relationship with a rabid wanna breed man ends well.

Quote
StudioFiftyFour
Who picked the man?

Our society is messed up. It teaches women that a man who wants to breed with them must really love them. I have seen lies and best kept secrets. But this one here is so embedded in our culture, I don't think anyone is going to be able to shine any light on this anytime soon. A man who wants to breed is just that - a wanna breeder. To me, that speaks really poorly of his character. As far as I am concerned, men should not push women to breed - it is not right to ask someone to do such a thing to their body. I can see a man being supportive of her breeder desires, that's fine. But for a man to demand for her to sprog, I see this as pure abuse.

If our society would teach women to understand this very basic concept, so many problems could be avoided.

Quote
Techie

Quote
contemplativeintrovert
she was married to a man who chose the bottle over his family

Some men are drunks before the kids arrive but some men start drinking after the kids come along. Most looser men have one thing in common - they want to breed ASAP. Some insist on breeding before the knot is tied. I have not seen many cases where a relationship with a rabid wanna breed man ends well.

Again, who picked the man?

I have my doubts that a man would transform from a completely sober man into a complete drunkard and irresponsible lush.

I do agree with you... the guys are losers. But the girls are losers, too. Whining, "I can't believe my man is a drunk and won't take responsibility!," is an example of willful ignorance. I have serious doubts that "Miller Time" started immediately after the loaf arrived. Methinks he was drinking looooong before that, and his stupid, drunken behavior was tolerated or dare I say looked upon as "fun" or "cute."

Expecting an irresponsible asshole to magically transform into a patriarchal pillar of society is wishful thinking. Moos who engage in this kind of delusional grandeur will find themselves very disappointed with the results.

Quote
Techie
Our society is messed up. It teaches women that a man who wants to breed with them must really love them. I have seen lies and best kept secrets. But this one here is so embedded in our culture, I don't think anyone is going to be able to shine any light on this anytime soon. A man who wants to breed is just that - a wanna breeder. To me, that speaks really poorly of his character. As far as I am concerned, men should not push women to breed - it is not right to ask someone to do such a thing to their body. I can see a man being supportive of her breeder desires, that's fine. But for a man to demand for her to sprog, I see this as pure abuse.

If our society would teach women to understand this very basic concept, so many problems could be avoided.

I'm with you. The mainstream media, and Hollywood in particular assures women, and men too, that unwanted pregnancies are okay and everyone will live "happily ever after." That's just not how it works in reality.

Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, violent crime... these are mere symptoms of our biggest problem: Unwanted children. Unwanted children grow up in chaotic environments and endure fucked up lives. In short, they grow up into major assholes. Hence all of the above problems.

Go to any prison and you'll find very few prisoners who grew up with both parents in a non-abusive relationship.

Eliminate the unwanted children and you eliminate many of the above social ills. Encourage breeding and you end up with those social ills to a much greater degree.

Quote
StudioFiftyFour
Again, who picked the man?

Sometimes I compare this to higher education. For example, someone with a master's degree in finance is likely to pick better investment options than someone just with a high school diploma. When someone with a high school diploma and a ton of cash opens up a brokerage account and starts self-guided investing, very few of is are surprised of such person suffers losses.

Our society has poor "education" system. It teaches women to value men which have no value. It gives zero value to men who would actually be ok. In simple words, if a man is willing to breed, he is deemed "responsible and committed". If a man has career goals, is working on his degree or has a stable job but would rather not breed at the moment, our society rejects such men. It is of no surprise to me that women pick drunks and abusers. As long as the guy is willing to breed, all other flaws are ignored. Likewise, if a guy is not willing to breed, any good traits that he may have will likely be ignored.

Quote
Techie
Sometimes I compare this to higher education. For example, someone with a master's degree in finance is likely to pick better investment options than someone just with a high school diploma. When someone with a high school diploma and a ton of cash opens up a brokerage account and starts self-guided investing, very few of is are surprised of such person suffers losses.

Our society has poor "education" system. It teaches women to value men which have no value. It gives zero value to men who would actually be ok. In simple words, if a man is willing to breed, he is deemed "responsible and committed". If a man has career goals, is working on his degree or has a stable job but would rather not breed at the moment, our society rejects such men. It is of no surprise to me that women pick drunks and abusers. As long as the guy is willing to breed, all other flaws are ignored. Likewise, if a guy is not willing to breed, any good traits that he may have will likely be ignored.

Many "value" these men not because of society's education system, but because that's just what they value. This is not a new phenomenon. Charles Manson has been receiving love letters in prison for decades.

Like it or not, there is a significant percentage of women out there who love and adore mean and abusive men. Criminal men. Men who are complete assholes and totally antisocial.

You'll be hard pressed too find a bunch of organized crime guys, gangsters, or biker outlaws who aren't surrounded by women. That's not the fault of the education system. People aren't "taught" who to be attracted to, they just are.

@StudioFiftyFour: you do have very valid point on attraction. But to me, it appears that all the "men" that you have mentioned are the first ones to breed too. Humans are programmed to breed, not all of them, but many of them.

Women who are attracted to these "men" are not really "educated" in my opinion. They are chasing a dream that is not likely to become reality. They hope for a good life, but they have no idea that "men" like you mentioned cannot offer that. They think like the breeder brains that they are trained to be. They hope to have a baybee by a bad boy and that bad boy will flip to a charming, caring man. Yeah, ok.

Maybe, just maybe, if our society really sat aside the primal instinct and concentrated on what it takes to be a success in our society, maybe these "men" would have no attention. They would not have as many DNA replicas running around.

Yep, women pick loser men but sometimes if you don't live with a person you don't see all the signs. I had a friend whose husband quickly spiraled down the toilet bowl of unemployment, alcoholism and cocaine addiction after they had been married a year and she was 6 months pregnant. And no, this wasn't an oops. He had held the same job for five years, was a social drinker and never used drugs in front of her. He went downhill fast and then emptied their joint bank account that she was the only one paying into at that point. Luckily, she moved out and got on with life.
I have never dealt with it personally on a romantic level but my sister is a drug addict and alcoholic. She went from a rent paying, hard working person to a dependent, broke drug addict in less than 6 months and none of us saw it coming.
At the end of the day, even if the woman picks a loser he is still responsible for spawning and needs to pay for and parent them.

Quote
Techie
Women who are attracted to these "men" are not really "educated" in my opinion. They are chasing a dream that is not likely to become reality. They hope for a good life, but they have no idea that "men" like you mentioned cannot offer that. They think like the breeder brains that they are trained to be. They hope to have a baybee by a bad boy and that bad boy will flip to a charming, caring man. Yeah, ok.

Maybe, just maybe, if our society really sat aside the primal instinct and concentrated on what it takes to be a success in our society, maybe these "men" would have no attention. They would not have as many DNA replicas running around.

Yep, neither party are "educated" nor are they thinking logically. They're thinking in terms of rote, basic instinct. There is no cure for this kind of thinking, outside of altering social norms to make it widely unpopular.

Donating to causes which support this kind of thinking only encourages further production of unwanted children.

@evilchildlessbitch: many good points. I too have noticed that when it comes to people sliding down a slippery slope, they are capable of doing it rather quickly. When it comes to kicking the habit and making their life decent again, that is where many people struggle and often are not able to succeed.

I have also seen surprised duhs. They really had no clue about what was coming. Once the kyd has arrived, duhs flip and blow the gasket. They drown their misery with alcohol. In my personal observation, such usually happens to duhs that REALLY wanted to be duhs. Men who were fence sitters usually do not experience this kind of sorrow. Weird but true.

Quote
Techie
I have also seen surprised duhs. They really had no clue about what was coming. Once the kyd has arrived, duhs flip and blow the gasket. They drown their misery with alcohol. In my personal observation, such usually happens to duhs that REALLY wanted to be duhs. Men who were fence sitters usually do not experience this kind of sorrow. Weird but true.

What do you attribute to this phenomenon?

Quote
StudioFiftyFour

Quote
Techie
I have also seen surprised duhs. They really had no clue about what was coming. Once the kyd has arrived, duhs flip and blow the gasket. They drown their misery with alcohol. In my personal observation, such usually happens to duhs that REALLY wanted to be duhs. Men who were fence sitters usually do not experience this kind of sorrow. Weird but true.

What do you attribute to this phenomenon?

I think this is related to the fact that men who were fence sitters, they had a better idea about what is involved in child rearing than men who were dead set on it. Somebody who is so much for breeding, they often don't understand all the details involved. When reality shows up, they run away in panic.

Quote
Techie
I think this is related to the fact that men who were fence sitters, they had a better idea about what is involved in child rearing than men who were dead set on it. Somebody who is so much for breeding, they often don't understand all the details involved. When reality shows up, they run away in panic.

That's a good point. The fence-sitters probably thought long and hard about the negative aspects of parenting. The gung-ho wannabreeder dads probably thought it was all sunshine and rainbows, and anything negative would be handled by their wives anyway.

Quote
StudioFiftyFour
Again, who picked the man?

I have my doubts that a man would transform from a completely sober man into a complete drunkard and irresponsible lush.

I do agree with you... the guys are losers. But the girls are losers, too. Whining, "I can't believe my man is a drunk and won't take responsibility!," is an example of willful ignorance. I have serious doubts that "Miller Time" started immediately after the loaf arrived. Methinks he was drinking looooong before that, and his stupid, drunken behavior was tolerated or dare I say looked upon as "fun" or "cute."

I agree, I think even if the guy wasn't an alcoholic while he was dating the girl, there were probably signs of antisocial behavior that she either chose to ignore or tried to cure. The former is, as you said, willful ignorance and the later is, in my opinion, a combination between stupidity and brainwashing by the media. The media seems to push this idea that all men, despite a bad character, can be cured if only they had some caring women to love them eyes2 . It reminds me of that boys will be boys saying, it's not the beasts fault he's a beast, it's women's fault for not loving him!

Quote
freya
Nooo. I worked less than part time as a kid. I was able to afford to buy boxes of macaroni and cheese anytime I wanted. It was one of my absolute favorites and I made sure there was always some around.

That's what I thought. I'm in my 2nd semester at college, so I've only ever had minimum wage jobs, but whenever I did I was always able to afford food. This woman's begging really is pathetic, if I get a chance to, I will try to record it the next time I hear it.

Quote
contemplativeintrovert


I agree, I think even if the guy wasn't an alcoholic while he was dating the girl, there were probably signs of antisocial behavior that she either chose to ignore or tried to cure. The former is, as you said, willful ignorance and the later is, in my opinion, a combination between stupidity and brainwashing by the media. The media seems to push this idea that all men, despite a bad character, can be cured if only they had some caring women to love them eyes2 . It reminds me of that boys will be boys saying, it's not the beasts fault he's a beast, it's women's fault for not loving him!

...

That's what I thought. I'm in my 2nd semester at college, so I've only ever had minimum wage jobs, but whenever I did I was always able to afford food. This woman's begging really is pathetic, if I get a chance to, I will try to record it the next time I hear it.

Good luck in school.

Just remember, people are what they are. And that's what they are. Some guys are fratboy assholes, others are drunken fools, others are nice guys who never get laid, while others are assertive, decent people.

Some girls are airheads, drunken fools, bar sluts, while others are assertive, decent people.

But they are what they are. And they largely do not change, so there's really no point in expecting them to change. You're not going to turn a sloppy drunken guy into an upstanding citizen and president of your town council. And likewise, an airhead girl who dreams of breeding and being a SAHM isn't going to be reformed into a person whom you can share your life with, intellectually speaking.

But the good news is that there are usually signs pointing to what kind of person a person actually is.

Quote
StudioFiftyFour
Good luck in school.

Just remember, people are what they are. And that's what they are. Some guys are fratboy assholes, others are drunken fools, others are nice guys who never get laid, while others are assertive, decent people.

Some girls are airheads, drunken fools, bar sluts, while others are assertive, decent people.

But they are what they are. And they largely do not change, so there's really no point in expecting them to change. You're not going to turn a sloppy drunken guy into an upstanding citizen and president of your town council. And likewise, an airhead girl who dreams of breeding and being a SAHM isn't going to be reformed into a person whom you can share your life with, intellectually speaking.

But the good news is that there are usually signs pointing to what kind of person a person actually is.

Thank you, I'm going to need it, I still have 2 math classes to take before I get my degree.
I agree, that's why I think people shouldn't have kids with their significant other until they've been in the relationship for a long time. For some reason though that's not a popular opinion. My first boss was 25 and complained that his wife didn't want kids yet. I'm glad I'll never have to deal with that. Still, it makes me wonder why wanting kids is the default and not wanting kids is the socially deviant behavior.

Quote
contemplativeintrovert


Thank you, I'm going to need it, I still have 2 math classes to take before I get my degree.
I agree, that's why I think people shouldn't have kids with their significant other until they've been in the relationship for a long time. For some reason though that's not a popular opinion. My first boss was 25 and complained that his wife didn't want kids yet. I'm glad I'll never have to deal with that. Still, it makes me wonder why wanting kids is the default and not wanting kids is the socially deviant behavior.

Study hard and you won't need luck.

What you will need, however, is the ability to stand up for your beliefs without apology. I have no doubt that you will encounter at least one potentially romantic relationship in your life where you will like the other person a lot, but they want kids. Your peers, and perhaps your family will try to nudge you in the direction of reproduction. This is a path that, if taken, you will likely regret.

Quote
StudioFiftyFour

What you will need, however, is the ability to stand up for your beliefs without apology. I have no doubt that you will encounter at least one potentially romantic relationship in your life where you will like the other person a lot, but they want kids. Your peers, and perhaps your family will try to nudge you in the direction of reproduction. This is a path that, if taken, you will likely regret.

Please also consider the possibility that you may not meet your mate for years or decades, it will be more than worth it when you do. In the meantime, just figure out all the things you love to do in life and enjoy doing them.

Quote
StudioFiftyFour

Quote
freya

Thank you guys for the kind advice. I am asexual though and I think that fact should ward off any breeders. I will try not to become one of - those - child free people that breeder pleases and puts my beliefs down to bolster the ego of breeders. I will also try to fill my life with things that I love. One of those things is intelligent conversation and I thank you guys again for offering it here.

Sometimes people simply change
and you don't know what triggered the change.

Some people here and on TCFL posted how they lived
in a happy relationship for years and suddenly, their partner
made 180 degree turn and wanted to breed. They also didn't
see it coming. The result of such a change is mostly the end
of the relationship - the existing, CF person gets dumped over
non-existent chyld.

@ Studio 54: "But the good news is that there are usually signs
pointing to what kind of person a person actually is."
-> it's quite easy with drug addicts, hardcore alkoholics, unstable,
irresponsible persons etc. - you can spot the warning signs easily
but there are also smart people (psychopats? abusers?) who can hide their
real persona and agenda for years.

Quote
mrs. chinaski
Sometimes people simply change
and you don't know what triggered the change.

Some people here and on TCFL posted how they lived
in a happy relationship for years and suddenly, their partner
made 180 degree turn and wanted to breed. They also didn't
see it coming. The result of such a change is mostly the end
of the relationship - the existing, CF person gets dumped over
non-existent chyld.

I think in the case of my last ex, her hormones caused the change. It happened so freaking fast, I was at a complete loss for any ideas. I went to some messed up "CF" site, I don't even remember which one it was now, I asked for advice. I got flamed and was told to give in and breed - some CF site that was. Women were telling me that since I was getting sex, since all the child rearing falls on a woman, to just give in and live happy. Morons. Let's just say I was fighting my own battle and I gained more gray hair back then than ever. Funny thing is that a couple years later, I noticed my hair was back to normal. It was a sign that just the thought of breeding was damaging and that my choice was the best choice for me.

The reason why many of such relationships end is because wanna breed gets support and CF person gets vilified. Even some "CF" sites were giving me bad guidance. I don't think I am the only one who put up with such nonsense and I don't think I am the last one. People flipping 180 happens all the time and breeder gets all the sympathy.

Quote
Techie
The reason why many of such relationships end is because wanna breed gets support and CF person gets vilified. Even some "CF" sites were giving me bad guidance. I don't think I am the only one who put up with such nonsense and I don't think I am the last one. People flipping 180 happens all the time and breeder gets all the sympathy.

What is this cultural obsession with kids? I don't get it. There are many things society needs more of (Zmapp, doctors, politicians that won't ban abortion), but kids aren't one of them. Yet the production of what we need the least is praised the most.