#2070 Things a duh should know about duh-hood

I'm not a guy, but some of these struck a chord with me...and most of them sound like things my husband would not be willing to do.

6. Do not name your baby after cities, geographical points of interest, features of the solar system, seasons, plants, animals, or current television stars.

I wish more people took this advice.

9. Baby gas is lessened with a good nipple connection during feeding, which decreases air intake.

I'm glad my husband doesn't want to share my breasts with anyone else.

20. Teach by example.

If people are going to reproduce, the least they can do is set a good example for their spawn.

23. The first time you change your son's diaper and he pees all over you is not an accident. It's foreshadowing.

Ew...one of our hamsters hasn't quite figured out that he's supposed to pee in the corner, not on his wheel...scrubbing that twice a week is gross enough, thank you very much.

29. It never hurts to videotape the baby-sitter.
Especially if she's hot.

Ew again...I don't feel sorry for horny duhs whose wives no longer have sex with them.

37. NOW, more than ever, don't move into a place without laundry facilities.

We don't have laundry facilities, and so have to chuck our stuff in the car and take it across town to a laundromat once a week...it's annoying, but we can deal.

44. Lock or no, please knock before entering, as the disruption of a youth who is spanking his monkey will be twice as traumatic for you as it is for him.

I have no words.

47. Unfortunately, those books that say motherhood makes women desire more sex are referring to women who are not your wife.

Stupid pathetic horny duhs.

50. Price of a college education for a baby born in 1999: $200,000.

I'm glad that scholarships, graduate assistantships, and (relatively) few student loans have paid for my schooling up until this point...I would hate to be a huge burden on my folks.

58. It's never too early to begin reading to children.

Literacy is important.

Other thoughts on this thought-provoking list?

29. It never hurts to videotape the baby-sitter.
Especially if she's hot.

Ew again...I don't feel sorry for horny duhs whose wives no longer have sex with them.

I read in the old Life's Little Instruction Book for Women how moos should never hire an attractive babysitter for the sprogs. What a horrible way to capitalize on a woman's insecurity and this statement makes her at fault if Daddio does bang the teenage sitter. Also, it is ridiculous because even the most beautiful mate/spouse is not going to keep a man from looking. That is what men do: ogle women. My belief is that looking is not bad on either side as long as there are no comments or overt looking. We are visual beings so we are going to look at an attractive person.

"FUCK WORK"

amethusos* Wrote:
>
> I read in the old Life's Little Instruction Book
> for Women how moos should never hire an attractive
> babysitter for the sprogs. What a horrible way to
> capitalize on a woman's insecurity and this
> statement makes her at fault if Daddio does bang
> the teenage sitter.

And as if any hot young teen would want anything to do with an "old man"! Today's teens think anyone over 30 is "old and gross".

some of those are to be taken tongue in cheek, its mans nature to look, but we know (some of us anyway )dont touch or we will lose our hands and other body parts. it depends if the man in rich and the moo doesnt appreciate him..

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

A list that I will never have to worry about, thanks to a good urologist and a CF wife.