2115: Emily's adoption story

Emily, I really feel for you. Your story is heartbreaking! I just can't believe how much you have put up with over the years. If I were you, I would have cut myself off from that fake family long ago. I also would have taken my uncle and mother to small claims court over your grandfather's books.

I feel for you too.
As an adult, you now have no reason to continue to associate yourself with these people. Cut them free and enjoy YOUR life. There is no law that states you are required to continue to associate with people who don't even have the sense to respect you as another human, least of all a family member.

You don't owe these people anything. Please don't allow them to guilt you into tolerating abuse in the name of "family". They aren't going to change, and you don't deserve this.

Might be fun to play it up and make them think that you will take ccare of them when they are old or infirmed. Then leave them flat. Move and change your phone number. Then drop by a few years later and ask them how it feels to be neglected.

Or just remind them that you'll be the one to pick the home they go in.

Your story is terrible, Emily - I feel for you too. My mom was adopted too and she never felt wanted by my grandma.

Like the others said: you don't owe them anything now. I don't see why you should take care of them in their old age. Show them all the respect and consideration they have shown you over the years. Let the "real kids" handle it.

Emily, you did not deserve what happened to you. I know what it is like to have my needs considered as "second place" from family. It takes a long time as adults to learn to set boundaries and to know we are worthy of respect.

I hate the "Adoption is an option" slogans and bumper stickers to protest against abortions. Sure, there are many people who have good intentions when they adopt and provide love for a child. However, most people tend to have their own agendas when they breed or adopt. It is about THEIR needs rather than the needs of the kid(s).

From a few adopted kids I knew as a youngster, I also realize how many of these classmates were treated differently than the biological children of their adoptive parents.

If a woman truly does not want to be pregnant and have a baby, the best thing she can do is abort. Going through the pregnancy and then giving the infant up for adoption will usually mess with the woman's head. And, she will probably wonder if the child is being treated properly or worry of a "show-up" of a resentful human being later in life.

I am with Medusa. Let the "real" kids handle these sons-of-bitches old age. Sorry for the bad language. Fuck those people! I am over trying to be polite with the "*" symbols in my profanities. I guess you can all say I am dealing with "stuff" right now...

You had a tough time, I agree with all the other posters about your situation now. Just get away from that family.

But I also wanted you to know that many "so-called real parents" are every bit as bad/abusive as yours, just minus the "real bio kid" taunts. I come from a dysfunctional family, dad was an alcoholic. He died in 74, mom remarried...but by that time, I was already married myself. Now my mom is alone again after step-dad died, and frankly, I am having a very difficult time trying to do the "family caring thing." She is in a nursing home now, but at first, wanted to live with one of her daughters (there's four of us.) One did let her live there, but oh my, the resentment, the anger, whoo, very bad ju-ju!

I visit her sometimes, but I'll tell you, if she had to live with me, the anger and fury from our horrible childhood would kill me. Sometimes I think it's more difficult to get away from bio parents, than an adoptive family. Who knows? Either way, I'm glad I never had any kids -- by choice, of course.

Medusa Wrote:
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> Your story is terrible, Emily - I feel for you
> too. My mom was adopted too and she never felt
> wanted by my grandma.
>
> Like the others said: you don't owe them anything
> now. I don't see why you should take care of them
> in their old age. Show them all the respect and
> consideration they have shown you over the years.
> Let the "real kids" handle it.

Medusa, I am so sorry your mom never felt wanted by your grandmother. It goes to show how adoption is not as wonderful as the pro-lifes claim.

I heard on one news show where the female anchor tries to say how adoption is a "gift" since she has an anti-abortion slant. If adoption was really that much of a "gift" we would not hear the personal stories of friends and acquaintances of being treated badly by adoptive parents or the worst-case-stories of how adoptees were horribly abused.

Adoption used to be about finding families for needy children. Yet, those kids were often treated as servants by their new parents. In this era, it is about finding white babies for the emotionally needy twitching infertiles or others who have different agendas. Either way, the children usually suffer.

Medusa, I left you my e-mail addy if you check your private messages. I so like you mentioning to let the "real kids" handle these sack of shit parents!