Not a CF post, but I thought you'd all understand...

On Wednesday, my mom had to give blood for a hip replacement surgery she was scheduled to undergo at the end of the month. This is routine. So, she went to get it taken care of, and a few hours later she felt very dizzy. I understand this is a normal side effect of giving blood. My sister was with her the whole time, so she was never alone.

At about six o'clock, my sister called me, and told me the paramedics had to take her to the ER. She had a heart attack. Her arteries were 99% blocked, and she wasn't getting enough oxygen to her brain. She never complained of chest pains, or anything that would indicate any sort of problem. Nothing.

The doctor who operated on her said the damage to her heart was minimal. However, she was posturing- turning her hands inward, a sign of brain damage. The neurologist came and did a bunch of tests to measure the extent of the damage.

Mom has zero to very minimal brain function. The only thing keeping her alive is a bunch of needles, and a breathing tube. Life support. She named me as having Power of Attorney, and as soon as the whole family is notified, I will sign the directive to terminate life support, according to her wishes.

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I never imagined that I would have to make this decision. Mom will never recover from this, the damage is too great. She's told me many times that if anything like this ever happened, to pull the plug. The situation is hopeless, but I feel like I'm killing her. I'm always going to wonder if I waited one more day, would she have come out of it?

The family is devastated, and they're looking to me to hold it all together. I can't talk to any of them, because I'll crack. So far, I've held my composure when others are around, but right now I'm a mess. I don't want to be a whiner, but I had to get this out of my system. This was the only place I could think of...

Please tell the important people in your lives that you love them. Don't assume they know.

Thanks for listening.

I am so sorry to hear about your mother, and everything you're going through. It'll be a long, hard row to hoe, obviously, but do know that we're here for you to vent to. You are making a hard decision based on your mothers wishes, and that is always the right thing to do.
Please take care, and my thoughts are with you.

I am so sorry to hear that. What a shock this must be, and so unexpected!

You are going through enough right now: don't put any additional pressure on yourself to "hold it together" though. No one is putting that expectation on you but yourself. If you fall apart and start crying, your family will understand, and someone else can take over for a little while.

Please keep us posted. And know you are doing the right thing by carrying out your mother's wishes.

sorry to hear about your mum, rowan and i will be thinking of you, as will my family here..

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Our prayers (yes, I do pray) are with you at this difficult time...

Oh my god, I am so sorry for you. That sucks - pure and simple. My father died unexpectedly of a heart attack nearly 7 years ago, so I know the shock value of losing a parent so suddenly. Grieve, let it out, don't try to hold it together. It hurts too much. I'm glad to hear that she didn't go through any of it alone. Please know my thoughts are with you and your family at this very, very bad time.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss and the terrible situation you are in. That is one of my biggest fears. My parents are getting older andI have spoken to them on several occasions about drafting an advanced directive. They put it off and put it off. Until I finally said that I would not show up to any family functions or visit them until they got it done. They finally did do it. I hope you will be able to use your story to convince others to not put their family members through the same trauma you had to endure. I would never let anyone designate me for a medical power of attorney unless they have an advanced directive andI have read and discussed it with them. Again I am very sorry for your loss.