More from Breeder Mariella: all my friends are having babies September 01, 2019 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
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Letter Writer
I’m 34 and have been in a close friendship group with four other women since university. Our relationship has been a constant comfort, but during the past year I’ve found it incredibly difficult to connect with them as all four have had babies. Suddenly our WhatsApp group looks more like Mumsnet – and I just can’t relate. I don’t know if I want kids or not. My husband puts no pressure on me, but this is bringing out the worst in me. I feel left behind, confused and judgmental as these friends enter motherhood. I feel isolated and incapable of contributing, and when I do I feel disingenuous. I try to widen the conversation, but it always reverts back to babies. I don’t want to lose these people, but I feel marginalised, as if I’m fundamentally missing out on some intensely female purpose. How do I step back without being overly dramatic?
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Occupy at least some of the time while your friends are preoccupied by thinking hard about what you want out of your life (and less about what they are doing with theirs). Friends are friends, even when our experiences are at odds, so it’s an imperative life skill to develop resilience and patience for the moments when you slip apart.
Re: More from Breeder Mariella: all my friends are having babies September 01, 2019 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,646 |
Re: More from Breeder Mariella: all my friends are having babies September 01, 2019 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,725 |