ok, i have always thought that too much pressure is put on marriage as a solution, luckily that pressure is fading, for good or for bad. people living together for example.
however the ideal idea of marriage isnt paperwork, it isnt legal rights, marriage is between 2 or more people, who want to be with each other. the fault lies in the legal necessities of marriage, you need to be married to make health decisions about your partner, you get tax breaks etc.. etc..
i am engaged, i am getting married hopefully by september, but in my heart and hers we are married already, we know each other, and understand the freedoms we both need, whether its an hour apart, or a day apart.
there is an idea that all married people should be together 100% of the time, when they are not at work. unfortunatly this breeds contempt, little tiny problems get exaggerated into major arguments.
marriage for love, and marriage for legal reasons are 2 completely different types of marriage.
a lot of lawyers love the idea of marriage break ups, a lot of organisations push for singledom. as they have a vested interest in it.
i have always thought that marriage should be a renewable licence, for 1, 2, 5, 10 , 15, 20 or forever, with written in instructions if there are children, or pets, or earnings.
but marriage is a good thing, but only if you realise, you are seperate people, and need time apart
me and rowan love each other totally, but because of legal reasons we have to get married, (she wants to be a british citizen) so we have to get all the paperwork sorted to get her here. people ask about marriage in regards to gays, i am all for them to be married, not a civil partnership a true marriage, marriage should be about love, and so what if they share the same sex, is their love any less valid as yours.. the problem is a lot of people, and organisations, put pressure on marriage, marriage is only valid for breeding purposes, thats the wrong sort of marriage, that kind is what can i get out of it, this idea of how can i benefit from it, is very common in a lot of marriages of today, no fault divorces, alimony, child support, they profit from the marriage, and they also profit if it fails.
no wonder there are more and more divorces today, than 20 years ago. the growth of the self centred people, can be linked to certain pro family(read pro single mother) organisations. yes the 80s was very consumerism based, but that was an easy decade, compared to the I want, the I need generation of today.
marriage should be about love, mutual respect, not what can i get out of it, i agree some men are jerks, and i in my experience as a man, have noticed there are far more female jerks out there, as they have fallen for the idea that they can have it all, which is exactly the same as the i need i want generation as we see today.
they are self absorbed, not really caring about others, only what they can get. this is the problem, men have less chance/opportunity to have this because as has been said the deck is stacked against them. so when men are saying sod this, i am going to be selfish, they get raked over the coals, when the opposite is frequently applauded, by press, by governments, by organisations.
marriage as an institution isnt bad, it isnt wrong, its the things you bring to that marriage can be the problem. and frequently is the problem.
(part of the problem of articles is they can be biased towards certain activities, you cannot know what its like to be a man, unless you speak to a man, just like you cannt know what its like to be a woman unless you speak to one, unfortunatly some articles are so one sided as to make the otherside seem to be money grubbing whores, or selfish pigs. dont just rely on one message, read from both sides. as men we can only say what we see as the problem, and as women you can only say what you see is the problem. luckily i am open minded enough to realise that not all women are like that, just like you should realise not all men are like that either.)
*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii
Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.â€
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein