Bridezillas -- Sort of OT

The Letters to Annie mailbox had a letter from a nasty bride-to-be who complained of her friends who had tattoos and multiple piercings from the ears to tongues to noses to lips and belly buttons. She said how she was "ink-free", which is fine for her, and had the requisite two piercings in each ear. The reason she was so agitated of her friends' ink work and piercings is because she wants everyone to be dressed so none of those offensive dragons, fairies, and other designs to be peeking out of clothing. Nor does this bitch want any abnormal jewelry on her guests.

The "Annie" ladies did tell the woman that she was correct to be able to tell her bridesmaids (god...hate that term, "maid"...as if they are to serve the bitch like a princess for the day) what to wear and to "cover up". However, they told Bridezilla how she cannot dictate what the guests are to wear except to mentioned black tie event on the invites. They also said this bridelet would love the photos in years to come. Yeah...that was another complaint: How will the pictures look???

Maybe this is sort of off-topic but it goes to show how women are more catty and "conventional" about this sort of thing. I am an "inked" woman. And, I don't have the discreet little rose on my ankle or the passe' tribal design at the small of my back. Most women tend to get more stuffy as they get to that wanting a husband stage in their lives knowing that it is rare to bag a money'd man with ink on their bods. I am sure the woman who wrote in to Annie will probably be a whiny moo down the line.

I really do not like weddings at all and am glad I was never asked to be a bridesmaid for a childhood friend when she got married in the Church. For one thing, I would resent being forced to wear those butt-ugly dresses with the dyed satin shoes that *I* would be forking the $$$ to pay for...as well as deal with the bride's little tantrums to get attention! Another reason I do not like weddings is that they are nothing more than a display to show everyone that the couple's fucking is now "legal" and sanctioned by the State & God-duh so everyone must rejoice. What a fucking strange-ass social rite of passage...

I have been married more than once and am divorcing another husband. My motto now it: Live together quietly rather than marry to make a production of one's sex lives. If people must have wedding ceremonies, I would love to see the white dress - the American version of the Burqa - gone because of the sexism it represents of the "good and pure girl". A quiet gathering is something that even I, the major curmudgeon, would attend...

No, you're not off topic, IMO, because it's these types of psychotic "bridezilla" chicks that morph into the mega-obsessed breeder pahrunt who raises the spawn from hell. And lots of them.

And what the hell's the difference if people have tattoos, piercings, a dick hanging from their forehead, whatever. If they are truly her friends, it shouldn't matter what they wear or have on their bodies. This line of thinking is the exact type of suet this woman will teach her offspring.

Just another superficial cunt. And this woman is bound to breed. I weep for the future.

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> No, you're not off topic, IMO, because it's these
> types of psychotic "bridezilla" chicks that morph
> into the mega-obsessed breeder pahrunt who raises
> the spawn from hell. And lots of them.
>
> And what the hell's the difference if people have
> tattoos, piercings, a dick hanging from their
> forehead, whatever. If they are truly her
> friends, it shouldn't matter what they wear or
> have on their bodies. This line of thinking is
> the exact type of suet this woman will teach her
> offspring.
>
> Just another superficial cunt. And this woman is
> bound to breed. I weep for the future.

You are absolutely right! If the cunt was so damned worried of how it would appear at her Reception of Showing How Her Church will Sanction Fucking Her Mate, she just would not invite her friends but look for GAP-type people. But...no...she probably only wants her counterculture "friends" to come to this dumb event just to get presents out of them. I rarely offer a "congrats" when a woman tells me she is getting married. Just the same as if a woman tells me she is pregnant. Why am I to say, "Congratulations," for an event that tells the world that these women are not wearing wedding bands when they spread their legs to their men for their orgasms? No one ever offers a "congrats" when someone tells a friend or relative that they are moving in with their lover because s/he loves that person dearly.

When I told certain members of my family that SO was moving into my house and selling his (my very judgemental cousins from MA, for instance), and some friends, not one of them said congrads.

Instead, it was all snickering behind my back and bashing me. Assholes. A few friends were happy for us but my own mother was like, "Oh."

But yes, when THEY have good news, there is supposed to be all SORTS of pissin' in the air and celebration.

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I told certain members of my family that SO
> was moving into my house and selling his (my very
> judgemental cousins from MA, for instance), and
> some friends, not one of them said congrads.
>
> Instead, it was all snickering behind my back and
> bashing me. Assholes. A few friends were happy
> for us but my own mother was like, "Oh."
>
> But yes, when THEY have good news, there is
> supposed to be all SORTS of pissin' in the air and
> celebration.

I totally hear you, KFLL. No one offers those words when a man and woman simply decide to live together rather than the lady gussy herself up in those fucking American Burqas aka the Wedding Gown & Veil to show she is a "good girl" who will only fuck with the Sanction of Church and State. It is always the, "Oh...," response when a lady says she prefers to live with her lover.

Living together is more of a "choice" as the woman is not getting a diamond ring or promise of economic security to rent out her vagina if she takes on a man's last name. And...the man is not about to get $$$ raped after saying the two most expensive words, "I do". This dumb fuck I worked with went on how she could sue her live-in of 12 years on the "palimony" law issue. I told her that she cannot get this deadbeat to ante up now so how the fuck is she going to get money if she moved out and sued the ass. Dumb bitch!

And...there are the sanctimonious marrieds who will talk shit behind the gal's back even though the married men are dying to fuck someone new and/or the married woman feels anchored down by those babies after giving up her own life to be a wife. I don't send wedding gifts or cards, either. I am sure my stepbros just loved that one. The wifeys are the ones who were the most ticked. Oh well...fuck them!

I'm not against marriage; in fact, I think it should be legal for all consenting adults, regardless of sexual orientation. But bridezilla behavior and ridiculously expensive weddings piss me off. My wedding cost less than $1,500, and I was as far from bridezilla as I could possibly get. Marriage is supposed to be about love and support, and bankrupting oneself (or one's parents) is not reflective of that...it's just sickening the way some of these women act.

cfhistorian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm not against marriage; in fact, I think it
> should be legal for all consenting adults,
> regardless of sexual orientation. But bridezilla
> behavior and ridiculously expensive weddings piss
> me off. My wedding cost less than $1,500, and I
> was as far from bridezilla as I could possibly
> get. Marriage is supposed to be about love and
> support, and bankrupting oneself (or one's
> parents) is not reflective of that...it's just
> sickening the way some of these women act.

I am with you. What consenting adults is their business. Just because I do not like marriage does not mean it should be outlawed. I just hate how women act to get a man to the altar and then how horrid they behave towards the people they call their "friends" when in the Bridezilla mode. The white wedding gowns do show how women still participate in their own oppression. Why doesn't a man wear a veil and white to prove he is so virginal and 'pure'. After the wedding, everyone is on the couple to start breeding...

Didn't she know her friends were visually offensive before she decided to get married? If it's such a concern that they have tattoos, why didn't she end her friendship with them as soon as she found out. Either way, she could just hire a cast of Gap models and have perfect wedding pictures to gaze upon when her marriage dissolves because she's a shallow, image obsessed idiot.

i did go to a wedding once, a bikers wedding, the bride did wear white.. leather.. it was fun, a lot of women (there are exceptions), want the status of saying i have a $20,000 wedding, and we did this.

i in my heart of hearts feel married to rowan, and she feels it too, in an ideal world that would be all we would need, but in our case she wants to be a british citizen, which adds a legal imperative to become mrs williams.

and frequently these women who brag about the cost of the wedding, are frequently the first to spoot out a brat, then complain they dont have enough money.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I value marriage mostly for its legal protections. A couple can have an emotional bond without marriage (but marriage makes it more convenient: my ex and I too considered ourselves married...until he sort of forgot about it and left me for someone else. Leaving me with no legal protection of any sort--luckily I didn't really need any as we didn't have any large joint property and didn't live together yet--but also with no social protection. As no one knew about our commitment, our split wasn't a big deal to them--after all, we weren't even engaged yet. But here I was left feeling divorced, pretty much, and no one could figure out why I took it all so hard).

The original post reminds me of my own wedding-our best man and his wife both have tattoos and at the time had matching eyebrow rings. My hubby and I didn't care-we wanted them in our wedding because we love them, not because they'd make our photos look like a J. Crew shoot. Well, my mother in law simply couldn't stand their alternative accesories, and spoke to both me and my husband to tell them to remove the rings and make sure the tats were covered-needless to say, we told her we weren't going to do that. As for my own mother (aka the mother of the bride, the one who typically makes such demands?) She didn't care at all and thought my MIL was stupid and insensitive for even bringing it up-go Mom! What I thought was so funny is how my MIL went on and on about how weddings are a gathering for family and friends and not about appearances, yet she tried to control all the details, despite not paying one dime. Years later we get along just fine, but I really grew to dislike her while planning the wedding-the last straw for me was when she lectured me about how to behave at my own reception. Please.

K12144 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I value marriage mostly for its legal protections.
> A couple can have an emotional bond without
> marriage (but marriage makes it more convenient:
> my ex and I too considered ourselves
> married...until he sort of forgot about it and
> left me for someone else. Leaving me with no
> legal protection of any sort--luckily I didn't
> really need any as we didn't have any large joint
> property and didn't live together yet--but also
> with no social protection. As no one knew about
> our commitment, our split wasn't a big deal to
> them--after all, we weren't even engaged yet. But
> here I was left feeling divorced, pretty much, and
> no one could figure out why I took it all so
> hard).


Kat, I am sorry you went through so much heartache. Marriage does have legal protections but I still feel that a woman is selling herself and is putting herself in a situation far worse than living together even if the guy leaves for another woman.

What you went through was messed up. However, as a wife, you would be almost forced to put on that frozen smile while the man ogled other women or talked about how he had great or unusual sex with the last wife/girlfriend.

I hate to say it, My Friend, but most men do "sort of forget" about commitment after a time. There is the attention span of a gnat. I am far from anti-male but this is so true. They always want something else. You can look like Antonella from Idol...yet the man will still look around and want someone else. Happens all of the time. It is fucked up but that is how it goes.

The above and other reasons are why I would never wear a wedding band again or take another's last name. Men get fucked $$$ in marriage and divorce. For many women, it is emotional but those scars run real deep. I will never pledge marital loyalty again knowing that a husband only wants to bang my best friend or reminisce about a threesome from years back.

All I can say is marriage is a degrading experience. I do not understand "progressive" women getting into it...unless there is a financial incentive.

When I got married the first time in 1993, I had a very short church ceremony in a Lutheran church. I wanted a traditional Pagan ceremony with all the usual trimmings but my mother threw such a fit about it that I gave in and got married in this generic, non-descript Lutheran church. Fiancee and I were paying for the whole thing ourselves so I don't know why anyone was chiming in at all. My father's family was Pagan for hundreds of years, mom's was Lutheran and didn't understand that Paganism was not just a bunch of whackos playing with candles and running around under the full moon. Mom was so paranoid about what everyone would think about a Pagan ceremony. WHO FUCKING CARES????

Never again will I give in to that shit. IF I get married again, it will be what I wanted the first time!

"What you went through was messed up. However, as a wife, you would be almost forced to put on that frozen smile while the man ogled other women or talked about how he had great or unusual sex with the last wife/girlfriend."
I strongly disagree here. Why would an unhappy wife consider herself "forced" to put up her partner's dallyances? No one should consider themselves "forced" to put up with disrespectful behavior from their partner, reguardles of their marriage status. If you disagree with how your partner is acting and you don't feel like you can bring that issue up, that seems like a pretty big indicator that there is something seriously wrong with that relationship, whether or not you're married.

And I'd just have to add here, if you're paying for everything (for any sort of celebration) I believe it is perfectly acceptable to tell your guests (parents included) who are there for the free food to just shut the hell up. It's your day (that includes men as well as women) and you can celebrate it however you want.

I do agree, Feh, that no one should put up with bad behaviour. However, most women are schooled to tolerate a man's looking and leering along with just smiling when being compared to other women. Hell, my own mother told me to wait for a man who I broke up with when he told me that dating me meant he was preventing himself from being with beautiful women. I was 19 at the time. My mom basically told me that I was not "good enough" to have higher standards in a relationship but to take back a philanderer. I learned long ago to NOT put up with that behaviour and will make myself very loud & clear if that shit comes up. Sadly though, even "progressive" women put up with this garbage because they "love" their husbands.

You guys are so right!! Fuck that shit. I refuse to put up with anything anymore. I've learned so many lessons the hard way by trying to "be nice" and not make waves and it's gotten me no where but shit on. Nowadays, I open my mouth when I feel I'm being taken advantage of by anyone. And they can call me a bitch. I've been called worse. I'd rather be alone in this world than have people in my life that make me unhappy. I have my pets and that's about all I need.

There is no reason for anyone not to set high standards for themselves. By being told you're not good enough or whatever, is nothing but a load of lies. Set the goals and standards that work for YOU. To hell with what everyone else thinks.

Work sucks balls today so I'm feeling really bitchy.

KFLL, right on!

When I was 18, I read a Dr. Joyce Brothers' article in some wimmin's rag of how a wife should not cry or shout too much when that poor dear of a man confesses his affair or is just plain found out. Reason why? So to not drive the poor dear back into the arms of the "understanding" other woman. We as females are told from the time we come into this world that we must take shit from a man or else we will be...gasp...alone!

It is the same garbage my mother fed me when I was 19 and that jerk wanted to put how I was ugly onto me to excuse his shit-ass behaviour. Please...another reason to never marry again since I dealt with similar bullshit from husbands. I hate to say it but I do believe the man respects the woman more as a "girlfriend" than a wife. I am sure others on the board have differing experiences and that is cool...

The average divorce in America costs $20,000, according to a couple sources I have come across.

I have to say I too honestly believe that normal women are not good enough for men...I think a lot of men are with the women they're with simply because they know they can't get porn stars, so they might as well settle for SOMETHING. Seems I saw the statistics once on the percentage of men who fantasize about other women when having sex with their significant other....and there are people who think that's okay!! Why I would allow some guy to use my body to have sex with another woman as though I were no more than a blow-up doll is beyond me.

ok, i think its best that i as a male put my view, i happen to understand men a great deal.

theres a few myths about men out there, and a few comments that are untrue.


ok the "Men always want something else", yes and no, nature, genetic inheritance, works on men as well as women, we look we notice, because first of all we need to see potentials, in the dim and distant past when we first came down out of the trees, we had to breed to pass the dna onto others, thats why men have a tendency to wander, (the brain can over-ride it most of the time). and men are more visual in regards to certain tasks, we are better (in general) at map reading, at judging distances etc.. and monitoring the world around us, we may look, thats a given, to "forbid" a man to even look, adds a pressure. with rowan i can look but never touch, why? because she is steak, but sometimes you need to see a burger to appreciate the steak.

looking doesnt hurt, touching does, havent any woman seen actors they like, seeing the rippling muscles, or even going to the chippendales male strippers. women do a similar sort of thing, look at the films, look at the comments he has a nice butt. he has a 6 pack, its a similar sort of thing.

so no woman has ever imagined being with someone not their husband, who has never read these female erotic books, the "romance" books, and put themselves in the heroines place.

women look, men look, to deny otherwise, is wrong. i have seen and heard comments about a mans butt from married women. is it that women can do no wrong, but men are all beasts.

but can you honestly say hand on heart that NO woman ever imagined another man, rather than their husband. what about roleplaying, they arent your husband or wife (or so you pretend).

or is it men are beasts, women are angels, women are divine, men are devilish. or men are defective women, emphasis on defect.

LOOKING doesnt hurt, you may have a ford motorcar, but you see a porsche, does that make you unfaithful to your ford, no, you may like the lines of the other, but you know its out of your reach, and the ford is what you really enjoy.

should you be faithful yes, should you stop looking at others no, looks dont hurt, touching does. you may enjoy cordon bleu cooking, but every so often you need to see a burger. to refresh your mind about cordon bleu.

men who touch, and cheat they are bad people. but looking at something never hurt anyone.

k12144, who is this "normal" woman. you are mistaking sex with love, love is being with that person(with or without sex), sex is the physical release (and you can have that without love). or are you a believer in Wilhelm Reich who stated what you said.


sex isnt love, and love isnt sex. are you saying that no woman has ever fantacised about rippling muscles(or whatever turns them on), about other men during sex, or that women dont want the male strippers.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

K12144 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have to say I too honestly believe that normal
> women are not good enough for men...I think a lot
> of men are with the women they're with simply
> because they know they can't get porn stars, so
> they might as well settle for SOMETHING. Seems I
> saw the statistics once on the percentage of men
> who fantasize about other women when having sex
> with their significant other....and there are
> people who think that's okay!! Why I would allow
> some guy to use my body to have sex with another
> woman as though I were no more than a blow-up doll
> is beyond me.

K12144, I totally hear what you say. Most men WANT a supermodel or a Playboy centerfold but will settle for the average woman as they know they are not going to those sort of women unless they are Donald Trump. BUT...they make it clear to their girlfriends/wives that they really prefer the "foxier" women. Nice, huh? Fantasies are fine and normal as long as the guy keeps it to himself so not to make his partner feel bad about herself.

Mercurior, you are right how looking is okay. I have zero problem with that...but do have more than a few issues when a mate is openly leering at another woman or makes a comment in front of me. It has always seemed that it was made clear to me that I was never going to be attractive enough, wear the right clothes, or be sexy enough in former partners' eyes regardless of being a thinner woman at one time and told I was pretty by others. This has happened to other women as well.

Looking also hurts when the comments come out. My soon-to-be ex-husband openly ogled my young friend and said stuff when we got home from that dinner outing. This man was always making comments about porn women, TV stars, other women in the complex...like the strippers who were single mothers, etc. What he said about my friend happened in 2004, three years before I left him. At that time, I knew the marriage was over because there were problems for years. I never let him touch me again...because it was the same as him watching a porn movie and then wanting to use my body to jack off.

We all do look. That is part of nature. It is how we behave in front of our mates that is another thing. I have no issue with a partner looking as long as *I* do not have to hear about it. I doubt most men want to hear from a woman how the hot guy next door or at work makes them horny. Romance novels are harmless because those are fictional characters but I do not like the things. I would rather live in reality than through those novellas so many women read.

I'm certainly no Bridezilla. Merc and I should be married in September, and I don't care wot he wears, wot we eat, as long as it's good, and wot anyone else wears, either. I think that expensive weddings are a waste of money. We could put that money towards summat good and lasting for both of us, like a house. I also don't care wot anyone else thinks of wot I wear, or how my pictures look. Pics are for Merc, our families, and me to remember our wedding day, not to look like professional shoots.

As for this other topic, people put too damn much emphasis on looks, men AND women. Who cares about Chippendale's dancers, or models, or Playboy Bunnies? Are people this damn shallow? Wot truly matters is that you and your husband truly love eachother for far more than looks. Looks fade with time, and someone so shallow will always want more when it comes to looks. Don't bother with that person. And Merc is right, sex is not love; love involves true understanding, commitment, and compassion. Marriage doesn't have to be a hell. Marriage is wot you and your spouse make it. If spouse, male or female, behaves like an idiot, than they weren't right for you.

That being said, I know some ppl are more visual than others. As long as they are not shallow about looks, rude and obtuse about the glances they make, or actually chasing after someone else, or cheating on you than that is natural. If one has a Rolex, one can look at the £1 watches being sold on the street, that doesn't mean one wants to buy a £1 watch. One can look, realise that one has a Rolex, and appreciate thier Rolex more.

I can't edit.

I never bothered with those stupid romance novels; they are perverse and unrealistic. I knew girls that read them, and when I questioned them as to why, when RL is nowt like that, they told me they HAVE to have SOME hope, and not to dash thier dreams. I say Jeeze, why bother with that crap when you know it's all false. The women who read those religiously make stupid expectations out of life, and if I were a man, and dating, I'd stay far away from women who love those kinds of books, they are looking for a fantasy, not a life partner. I also hate chick-flick romantic comedies for the same reason.

Strangely enough, this story has been recently talked about

Women are 'worse oglers than men'
Last updated at 11:57am on 18th April 2007

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_page_id=1965&in_article_id=448853

Women are worse oglers than men despite the widespread belief that they are less physically focused, a study has suggested.

Scientists used eye-tracking technology to pinpoint what people looked at when shown a series of sexy photos.

They expected women to be more interested in faces, and men in other areas of the body.


But to their surprise, they found almost the reverse was true. Men were more likely than women to linger on the face before diverting their attention to other parts of the body.

Women also spent longer poring over images of couples performing sexual acts.

Study leader Dr Heather Rupp, from The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University in the US, said: "Men looked at the female face much more than women and both looked at (other parts of the body) comparably.

"The eye-tracking data suggested what women paid most attention to was dependent on their hormonal state. Women using hormonal contraceptives looked more at the genitals, while women who were not using hormonal contraceptives paid more attention to contextual elements of the photographs."

The findings, reported in the journal Hormones And Behaviour, support previous research suggesting that men and women have different patterns of brain activity when viewing sexually stimulating images.

Using a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) brain scan, scientists found greater activation of a region called the amygdala in men than in women.

This small section of the brain plays a vital role in the processing of emotional information.

Why sexual images should trigger more amygdala activity in men than women is unclear. But the eye-tracking study suggests it might be related to men's greater focus on faces in the photographs.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Glad to hear from you Rowan. If you register on the site and log in, you should be able to edit.

There is nothing wrong with a man looking but to make comments which are hurtful to the partner is the main issue. I've known men willing to wreck their relationships/marriages by going after the "burger" and then justify it by saying it meant nothing. So...these fellows ruined a good thing at home over a "nothing"???

Mercurior, you are right about the ogling and women. I often believe this issue is females feeling they are to catch up to what the guys have been doing. Wrong is wrong even if it is "payback" even though I often relish in "payback". I know...that is bad, though.

Even someone I know who is more conservative and does not understand feminism admits how men "catted around" for generations while the women had to look the other way lest the wives be out on their asses. I do believe a lot of this bad behaviour from women is a way to pay back what has been done to them.

I mentioned above that "payback" is not right. However, as a woman, I know what it is like to have my sexual history queried by a mate who then turns around and brags about the women he has banged. Or, be in a loving relationship and -- whammo -- I get to hear about all of the women with the big titties that he likes as well as the unusual but really risque sexual practices of the past. Heaven forbid *I* start talking about my past...

Whatever happened to good manners when it came to discreetly looking from either side?

Besides not having maternal instincts, this is another reason why I chose to be childfree. Once a woman is pregnant, a man can do what he wants to her. Most affairs start by the husband during the wife's first pregnancy. Same as first instances of battering. The reason? The guys know damned well the woman is vulnerable and fears to make any changes due to that "bun in the oven". I vowed to never be one of those women...