#696 dating breeders

Ranter, that was uncalled for. Haven't you ever been in love with someone who wasn't perfect? No one is going to agree 100% on every issue with their significant other. It's easy for people to say "Dump him" or "dump her" whenever someone posts about a relationship problem, because you're not the one who is emotionally invested in the relationship.

Sure, having children is a major issue that can be a deal-breaker. But if the couple is compatible in every other way, I can see why it would be hard for them to break up over the one issue. Sometimes it's easier for people to just muddle along hoping things will get resolved some other way.

Not everyone wants to spend the rest of their lives alone.

Here's a secret. I'm dating a fellow who has said in all seriousness "I'd like to have kids". He knows that as long as he's with me, that will not be happening. We had it out over this as it kind of freaked me out. We both came to the conclusion that there is a vast difference between "like" and "need". I'd like to visit space, go thrift store shopping with John Waters and have unlimted access to mind-altering drugs. Will any of that be happening? Doubtful. My BF would like to be a rock star, personally see the Vikings beat the Packers at Lambeau Field and have kids. However, he also realizes that the chance of these things happening with or without me around are equally as slim.

I think a big part of being an adult is coming to the realization that you may not always get to do what you'd like to do, and accepting that. Now we aren't married, or whatever it is that guarentees that we'll be together forever, but I'm confident that our relationship will continue on without children, because we both accept that what we'd like to do and what actually happens are two different things.

I agree. This is a place to rant where they aren't going to hear the automatic drivel of "OMG, how could you not want a chyyllld?? Something is wrong with you." The subject is just not open for an honest discussion in most arenas. Maybe it will actually help them make a decision they can be a peace with. If one person did that, I would be so proud.

Piss on it.

I would rather be alone than talked into doing something I would regret for the rest of my life. I dunno, it just pisses me off too because I can just see him, like a poster of long ago Brats days, coming back and whining about how he has been "oopsed", but by Golly Gee, he is going to make the best of the situation, and then have all the posters (mostly female, gee, go figure) clamouring around him with oh you poor guy! Tricked by such an evil bitch! Seen it done before. SPineless men I hate just as much as doormat martyr women.

anoon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
like a poster of long ago Brats
> days, coming back and whining about how he has
> been "oopsed", but by Golly Gee, he is going to
> make the best of the situation, and then have all
> the posters (mostly female, gee, go figure)
> clamouring around him with oh you poor guy!
> Tricked by such an evil bitch! Seen it done
> before. SPineless men I hate just as much as
> doormat martyr women.


I was one of those mostly female posters on Brats who clamored around that guy and tried to comfort him. Personally, I can't see the point of berating and blaming someone who already feels like crap and realizes they've made a mistake. Years in 12-step groups have taught me some compassion.

I can understand why you yourself would rather be alone than "settle", but I don't get why people like Ranter #696 have to be so judgmental and nasty. What's the point? What does it accomplish?

Sometimes people need some support from others that understand their situation. We understand the pressure that breeders and wannabreeders put on us. I'm just guessing, but it seems that a lot of people don't know anyone the hasn't been bit by baby bug. Haven't we all felt that way at one time or another? Instead of judging these people- who came to us for help- let's try to help them.

Telling him to run IS helping him. I have been around for a little while now, and I have seen it time and time again. ONce someone goes soft, you need to seriously take precautions. Especially if it is someone who is going so soft as to want to sprog just because everyone else is. That screams spineless, low self esteem, a baby is going to make everything alright kind of thinking. If he doesn't want one, I will change him. He will love it when it is here.