The 1,222,013th reason to not have children...

Earlier this morning, I talked on the cell with a friend of mine: a lady with two grown kids. She was divorced when the children were young. I made a comment of a friend going through a nasty divorce of how he would have to leave the country to escape a heavier financial rape if he had a sprog with that cunt who left him but wants a ton of $$$. Talk about sticking my foot in my mouth! :lips

My friend went on how she never got "COLA's" (cost of living increases) with her child support. Her dumb bint of a lawyer suggested sending the kids to boarding school to get the ex to ante up. However, that backfired worse than a '57 Plymouth! Then...I got to hear how my friend went without buying herself anything nice due to having to raise two kids as a divorced mother. She also went on about paying over a hundred grand in college tuition yet her daughter is really nasty to her.

When I first came out about being childfree-by-choice over twenty years ago, it WAS about materialism as I was thrilled to spend my earnings on myself after I paid out my living expenses such as rent, food, and bus fare. It was nice to be able to buy an outfit while childed women my age could barely get their hair cut especially if the man had left them. As time went on, my materialism dwindled and I am now a very low-maintenance woman. Things like time mean more to me than "stuff".

However, this was such a harsh reminder of how this friend of mine in her 60's struggles and works a job she hates because all of her $$$ during her higher-income days went to her children who will never EVER repay her sacrifices. Fuck that shit of "good women" being sacrificing Madonnas. This also reminds me to tell my own mom that I love her more often rather than get annoyed when she says things that I do not like (but she means well) that get under my skin.

Personally I think child support is a joke--it's never equal. The non-custodial parent (usually the man) gets to pay child support based on his earnings, so if he works at McDonald's, he doesn't have to pay jack or shit, but the custodial parent (again, usually the woman) has to pony up for the rest even if she also works at McDonald's....and the custodial parent also has to raise the kid!

I will think child support ISN'T a joke when the courts say "okay, how much does it cost to feed, clothe, shelter, educate, etc. this kid, now we're going to split it and you both pay half." I'm sure that's not coming any time soon, though.

Kat, I also thought sprog support is a joke. If the ex-husband is filthy rich, he is forced to pay thousands a month as if sprogs need that kind of money...which the women use for their shopping habits and to get their fingernails painted. Basic costs...and I mean BASIC costs rather than private schools, shopping at Nordstrom, and living in the fanciest area of town...are to be reviewed on what a "normal" couple would pay to raise a child. I do not think a man who works at McDonalds should have to pay 2/3's of his salary because the mother thinks she is somehow owed more.

My friend is a good woman and always worked hard but it was really a downer to hear the "sob story" of how she sacrificed nice things for herself because it all had to go to her kids when she made good $$$. I have always heard the "I never could buy a new or upscale outfit because the children needed their school clothes or I had to save for college tuition" boo-hoos from divorced women. For one thing, my friend should have NEVER paid for her two kids college. Does the daughter appreciate it? No. It would have done the son & daughter good to work and maybe take out loans for their education rather than rely on their divorced mom who works retail.

No wonder there are resentments and some destructive behaviour on the lady's part. She is lonely and wants "companionship" even if it is a male best friend. After the divorce, her entire life and her earnings went for those children. Now...she does not have anything and is working a shit job. In her 60's, she is finding she has no life of her own. She wants to quit but cannot do so until she finds something else. This woman has received no reward for motherhood. Motherhood is a fucking trap for which I am grateful for escaping via making the childfree choice and getting "fixed".

Me too, child support is such a joke, a scam and rape. It makes the parties bitter, greedy, more prone to fighting, and really ends up not being the best for the child. The only one who benefits here is the spouse receiving the support.

Oh but then, they're "entitled."

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> Me too, child support is such a joke, a scam and
> rape. It makes the parties bitter, greedy, more
> prone to fighting, and really ends up not being
> the best for the child. The only one who benefits
> here is the spouse receiving the support.
>
> Oh but then, they're "entitled."

Right on, KFLL! I would like to see the ex-wives/girlfriends be required to produce receipts on what was spent on food and clothing for the children. The moo would also be required to rent living space that was just enough for her and the kids...no fancy apartment complexes or houses in high rent districts. If she is going to make car payments, child support should be allowed to go on the list as income to get the loan as the money is supposed to be for the kid(s). The fathers rarely benefits from paying child support as the moo is always using the children against him and plays games when it comes to visitation. If the ex-husband dares to remarry or have a girlfriend, BOTH the ex-moo and the sprogs make the new woman's life a living hell. A lot of second marriages do not work out for THAT reason alone! The "blended" family rarely works and is a joke.

Amethusos wrote:

>"required to produce receipts on what was spent on food and clothing for the children"

Totally agree with this. In my neck of the woods the courts actually tell the non-custodial parent (dad usually) that the moo can spend the money anyway she wants and it's not their business. What? So moo doesn't even have to use it for the kids which is why they always want more. I say that is absolute bullshit. Moos should not be allowed to spend dime one of the child support on themselves.

I definitely agree with everyone else, moo and kids are not entitled to anything but the basics. This "standard of living to which they have become accustomed" is f@&king cr@p!

CFinDX Wrote:
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> Amethusos wrote:
>
> >"required to produce receipts on what was spent
> on food and clothing for the children"
>
> Totally agree with this. In my neck of the woods
> the courts actually tell the non-custodial parent
> (dad usually) that the moo can spend the money
> anyway she wants and it's not their business.
> What? So moo doesn't even have to use it for
> the kids which is why they always want more. I say
> that is absolute bullshit. Moos should not be
> allowed to spend dime one of the child support on
> themselves.
>
> I definitely agree with everyone else, moo and
> kids are not entitled to anything but the basics.
> This "standard of living to which they have become
> accustomed" is f@&king cr@p!

I used to have a co-worker/sort-of supervisor who was smart in his divorce. He was able to get a deal from family court where the ex-moo would have to send receipts for what she spent at the grocery store, kids' clothing, and utilities. Only then, the divorced dad would send the money. It kept this woman "honest". She was the one who left the guy for someone else so it is not as if she was some wronged wife. Too bad more men cannot get this sort of set-up.

I also worked with a cunt who took her ex-husband back to court for MORE brat support when the man did not visit his young daughter as often as the moo wanted. This was about revenge rather than "true need" for funds. Yet, Cuntanna wondered why the father never wanted to be around the kid. A fellow can only take so much. Did I mention how Cuntleigh the Wonder Cunt got her child to call her boyfriends "Daddy"? This was before 9-11. I am sure the kid is one hell of a messed up teenager...

My Mom never got one penny of child support, even though she certainly could have used it, having to raise me all by herself after my bastard "father" cheated on her and she kicked him out. Why? Because she had her pride and wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

Medusa, my mother also never got support even though the courts awarded $100 in child support in the late '60s. Believe it or not, my mom did allow me to see my father until he vanished in 1976. Of course, Mother did not like the man after the things he did to her and for refusing to support his child. Mom did not want a huge amount of money and was willing to settle for anything my father would send. She never took welfare and worked hard so we could have a nice standard of living. Mother did not to toss her pride by becoming a welfare moo.

I like my friend but I do get so tired of the "I sacrificed it ALL for my children and now I have nothing in my older years" bullshit. These women chose a childed life. The divorce rate has always been sucky but worse as the years go by so a woman is stupid nowadays to do the marriage and childed life. I don't want to sound cold toward the few friends I do have (I am very much the loner by choice) but I am so sick of women being martyrs when it comes to them and their kids. It is not easy finding childfree-by-choice female friends as most of them follow the script and breed.

Sometimes, I feel mean enough inside to think, "You should love your kids enough to not demand support for popping out a man's offspring," despite my feeling that a man should support his children even though I am VERY against alimony/spousal support.