The Shot

You must use a reliable form, or two, of birth control with your current partner. I am guessing that a partner who states a desire to see how wonderful a child the two of you would be probably wants children, even if they say they don't. It's a creepy, manipulative and kind of disrespectful form of flattery that I've heard many times from wanna-breeds and breeders alike. "But YOU two will have such a cute child.", "I think our child would be beautiful." If you are serious about being childfree for life, you will have to address this issue with this man, and be very direct about your feelings. It appears to me that he is testing your childfree mettle. If you have already been direct about your feelings on this issue, then your partner is just trying to manipulate you to his side of the fence, which is quite disrespectful and thoughtless since HE will NEVER carry the child, push it out or do most of the work to raise it.

That aside, I was on the shot for about 4 years when it first came out, I stopped it about 5 years ago, and I don't really remember why I did. You have to go to the doctor every 3 months, get a shot and no worries. Except there were some...I didn't have my period for the entire time I was on the shot (which I didn't mind, but it did worry me), and when I got off the shot I basically had my period every 2-3 weeks for the two months it took me to get a doctors appointment for pills. I did gain some weight, and more troublingly for me I've never been able to get rid of it (so maybe it's me getting older and not the shot). I had no gyno. problems. Currently I utilize the Nuvaring as my birth control option because I'm really bad at remembering to take a pill every day, and when you are missing pills, or taking them inconsistantly you can actually increase your fertility. I like the Nuvaring better than the shot simply because I didn't really like having to always be going to the doctor's office. It's a device which you insert for three weeks of every month and I've had no problems with it.

I'd have to echo Feh's sentiments about reliable birth control, because it sounds like you and your partner have unresolved differences about kids. Doesn't mean he won't decide he's okay without them...but be careful.

I was actually on the pill version of Depo, because for a while researchers were worried about a link between regular progesterone/estrogen pills, and strokes. My doctor suggested switching, so I did. I was already in a very dependable habit of taking a pill every day, so I figured why fix it if it ain't broke. But chemically, I was using the exact same hormones as The Shot. It worked fine for me. I did have a few mild side effects when I switched pills, but those went away. No weight gain, no elevation in my blood pressure. My periods did get much, much lighter, and more often than not I didn't have periods. That was unnerving at first, since I was used to being on a clockwork 28 day cycle on my other type of pill. But I got used to it. I didn't go off it until my spouse got snipped.

I have had friends use the shot version of Depo, and they liked it, especially the ones who hated swallowing pills or didn't always remember to take them every day. The women I know of who've had massive problems with the shot, tended to have hormonal/uterine problems to begin with. Might want to keep that in mind.

Hope you find the solution that works for you.

I'd recommend the copper T IUD over Depo-Provera (the shot). Here's why:

1. No hormones to cause potential weight gain.
2. It's good for 10 years.
3. It's more effective than oral contraceptives.

That being said, you BOTH need to be using contraceptives.
If your partner won't, it's time to DUMP HIM!!

Food for thought.

Hey, Responsible Adult...
have you personally used the copper T IUD? If so, how has it worked for you? Did it affect your periods in any way?

Just wondering. Thanks.

Hey Feh!

I have the Mirena IUD, which is plastic and has hormones simliar to the pill, but it's concentrated in the uterus vs. your entire body. I was planning to have the copper IUD, but since I have to access military healthcare, the Mirena IUD was available through the pharmacy and could be installed through Military Family Health vs. the OB-GYN department, which had to install the copper T and who was giving me attitude about getting an IUD since I didn't have kids. Don't get me started on THAT one! That and the copper IUD had to be specially ordered and since the Federal government was on a continuing resolution at the time, I'd be #17 on the waiting list. I didn't want to wait, so I went ahead and had Mirena installed. I'm just hoping that Tri-Care will eventually cover Essure so that I can have that installed. Hopefully when I'm 40 (when the Mirena IUD will no longer be effective for me), I won't get any lip about "What about if you want to have kids?" and will have an easier time about getting it or a tubal done. Here's hoping!

Feh, I have a ParaGard IUD (copper, 10 years), and I'm very happy with it. My periods are rather sporadic and I have a great deal of discharge (so I use pantiliners), but I have a libido again (after 5 years on the pill, my sex drive was all but dead)! And I don't have to think about it, and the ParaGard was also great for me since I could get it at Planned Parenthood (I'm one of 40,000,000 Americans without health insurance...I was born here, I work here, and I vote here...land of opportunity, my ass!) for less than $100.

I got a tubal ligation at age 36 and I've never been happier. I recommend sterilization for people who never want kids. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND getting it when you are single. Really has a way of making things ABSOLUTELY CLEAR.

Men who talk about how beautiful or wonderful children are make me want to hurl.

Just remember, they can afford to say this because their lives don't change and some woman can do the cunt work for him.

The iud scares me because I think of uterine punctures and immune reactions. But it's not that bad?

K peeps, you have a Depo Provera EXPERT here. My mom put me on it when I was 16 (she was paranoid about "teen pregnancy" but little did she know then, NO BABIES were invading this womb EVER), but anyway I've been on it for what will be 11 years in September.

It is fucking FANTASTIC.

I also have to say, I did not gain weight. But that could also be because I exercise a lot. Still, no huge difference in my weight or appetite and it's been more than a decade.

Also...NO PERIOD! YES! I haven't had one since 11th grade and I do NOT miss that shit. Aunt Flo can kiss my goddamn ass.

Fucking bitch.

Anyhow, the only reason I refuse to get a tubal is because you still have to endure your monthly cycle and as I told my gyno-I will be on some form of birth control that STOPS my period until I hit the menopause years dammit. FUCK-THAT-SHIT.

I don't wanna endure children, why would I want to have a period when it's not necessary?

Anyway, I am too lazy to link it but Wikipedia has an article on Depo Provera. It's very informative. You have a decreased risk for uterine fibroids, endometriosis, and some other bad shit too when you're on Depo. But...like everything else, there are risks. There is a black box warning about bone loss after using Depo continuously for two years. My doc makes me get bone density X-rays...just had one two weeks ago and I'm fine. But guys, I do highly recommend it.

Now, the other pill which stops your Flo is called Lybrel. I spoke to my doc about it and she said it was just FDA approved and will be out by the end of the summer BUT she isn't prescribing it to anyone until after it's been widely used for about 8 months to a year after the release so she can see all of the effects in case studies.

I would have gotten a tubal years ago if it weren't for my fear of invasive surgery.

I would love to have a tubal but I just can't deal with periods. If there was a way to halt my period with a tubal, I'd be all for it. The medical industry needs to step their game up dammit. What sense does it make to give women this surgery to make them sterile yet they still have to deal with periods until menopause? What's the point? Talk about dumb concepts.

there is a hysterectomy, that would stop it, plus a tubal.. but it is rather drastic. and good luck finding someone to do it..

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Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

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ChildfreeChick Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> K peeps, you have a Depo Provera EXPERT here. My
> mom put me on it when I was 16 (she was paranoid
> about "teen pregnancy" but little did she know
> then, NO BABIES were invading this womb EVER), but
> anyway I've been on it for what will be 11 years
> in September.
>
> It is fucking FANTASTIC.
>
> I also have to say, I did not gain weight. But
> that could also be because I exercise a lot.
> Still, no huge difference in my weight or appetite
> and it's been more than a decade.
>
> Also...NO PERIOD! YES! I haven't had one since
> 11th grade and I do NOT miss that shit. Aunt Flo
> can kiss my goddamn ass.
>
> Fucking bitch.
>
> Anyhow, the only reason I refuse to get a tubal is
> because you still have to endure your monthly
> cycle and as I told my gyno-I will be on some form
> of birth control that STOPS my period until I hit
> the menopause years dammit. FUCK-THAT-SHIT.
>
> I don't wanna endure children, why would I want to
> have a period when it's not necessary?
>
> Anyway, I am too lazy to link it but Wikipedia has
> an article on Depo Provera. It's very informative.
> You have a decreased risk for uterine fibroids,
> endometriosis, and some other bad shit too when
> you're on Depo. But...like everything else, there
> are risks. There is a black box warning about bone
> loss after using Depo continuously for two years.
> My doc makes me get bone density X-rays...just had
> one two weeks ago and I'm fine. But guys, I do
> highly recommend it.
>
> Now, the other pill which stops your Flo is called
> Lybrel. I spoke to my doc about it and she said it
> was just FDA approved and will be out by the end
> of the summer BUT she isn't prescribing it to
> anyone until after it's been widely used for about
> 8 months to a year after the release so she can
> see all of the effects in case studies.


Well, ChildfreeChick, you sold me. How expensive is it?

There is summat called an ablation that will stop periods.

I talked to the PPs around here last year requesting Mirena, and they wouldn't give it me cos I had no brats; they didn't want to know.

I'm scared of copper IUDs cos I knew this lady who was born in spite of her mother having the copper installed. They named her Penny cos of that, and not in a nice way. Her story scared the crap out of me about copper.

I know someone who was on Depo for a few years, and she gained quite a bit of weight from it, and has not lost it.

I can't wait for my tubes to be cut & cauterised.

I always hear about people complaining of weight gain on Depo but honestly my friend has been on for 5 years, I've been on for 11, and it's just not an issue. I think it's an individual thing. I still think it's worth trying because some women may not have the weight gain as a side effect. Plus, I'd rather be 5lbs over weight than deal with the monthly "Aunt Flo" visits and all the misery that brings.

But maybe that's just me.

Anyway, my insurance covers the shot so I only pay a $30 copay every three months at the gyno.

Oh and I'd never EVER get a voluntary hysterectomy...you have to take hormones that fuck your whole body up once you've gone through that. It's a nightmare.

I have heard a lot of horror stories from people who were on the shot - in some people, the shot can cause migraines, dizziness, depression, hair loss, loss of sex drive, rashes, prolonged periods (some women may bleed for a month straight or longer) and heart palpitations. Some people can suffer numerous kinds of infections from it (including eye infections - I have no idea what hormones have to do with your eyes, but whatever). Like most medications, a small handful of people may have allergic reactions to the shot (which can be fatal).

I think most women will experience the 'typical' side effects, like weight gain, wacky periods, and so forth. Just know that the shot can have some seriously adverse side effects and there's no telling if you may be one of the rare few who will suffer the really bad ones.