Cousin Rant

I know I've complained about this before, but hell, ranting is fun...Get ready, people...I'm probably gonna leave my house in two summers and never look back...


Well, anyway, my cousin has been the Golden Sprog Trophy of the family for the past few years, and I'm f***ing tired of it.



"Goldensprog is so skinny!" [Be happy with what you have and stop calling me a fat kid, Dad. At least Andy loves me for who I am, and doesn't act like a superficial man-bitch like you do to me...] "Goldensprog looks so cute in a swimsuit!" [If you actually bothered to notice that I've lost weight, you'd stop gawking at her for hours...that's f***ing disturbing.] "Goldensprog could actually shoot a pellet rifle!" [I can too--I'd rather shoot it at YOU than a cardboard box tho!! ><;;] "Goldensprog has cute hair!" [Yeah, because you spent an assload of cash to take That Whole Damn Side Of The Family to the hair place...] "Goldensprog can cook!" [I can too, big whoop, ya idiots...Notice my damn cake and stop saying it's going to your thighs. I KNOW you eat it on the sly...I've seen you.] "Oh, let's all throw in a few dollars [read--A WHOLE FRIGGIN' LOT] to buy The Goldensprog a bunch of new things!" [We've done that every day she's been here, you idiots! I hate this game ><;;;]



By no means is Golden Sprog needy or disadvantaged. She's just a really entitlement-minded bitchbaby who demands for me to buy her everything she wants...



She's always telling me she isn't allowed to do what I suggest we go do when she's over here, she brags about how she's a track star back in fricking USELESS, Kansas, she won't let me live down the episode where she snuck up behind me and untied my bikini halter in front of a bunch of men at the beach. Yet she always plays the victim when I confront her about it. And I'm tired of her invading our house and getting my mother on her "OMFG EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY SPOTLESS" rips.



No, I don't want to sit with you in the hatch of my mom's Volvo. I WANT IT TO MYSELF. Have you noticed I turn up Rammstein every time you start talking? I know how to make a damn good cake, so stop telling me how your grandma does it and let me do it my own damn self. I don't need you. I'm not a satanist, so stop looking at my metal-band shirts and bondage pants like I'm about to strangle you with them. Please stop invading my room and whining about how 'foreign' it looks. Well, ya don't have to be in here, stupid, so gtfo before I DO strangle you with my bondage pants...



I love venting. :3

ok, i would say, if she says how her grandma makes it. say .. go on then.. you make it.. .. as you wont be making any for her as she seems to think her grandmas is better.. and the hyper spotless freaks i know those.. they are usually sicker than anyone else

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Yes ma'am, that's the one. I've been interning at a vet's office to get out of the house this summer and Mom actually had the nerve to try and make me bring my cousin along with me, when I'll be cleaning out dog pens and cat cages all day...Needless to say, she didn't go for a ride in my lovely little VW Bug that day!