Why is Feh so dumb?

Seriously, I am dumb. I thought for sure that I could go to a birthday party for a friends 3 year old because I was positive that it was actually an adult party with an awesome race car cake and as a result the adult guests would be acting like...ADULTS, like me. Wrong!

When someone makes a statement about their personal choices to me, I will usually agree with them, or if I don't agree just say "Well that's your choice, I respect it" and shut up about it. I feel it's the adult thing to do with other adults who are free to make their own choices in life. Apparently when you are engaged to be married, in the upper decks of 30 and are at a children's party, all bets are off.

The children were remarkably well behaved, and I was remarkably tolerant and helpful (ooh, my arm hurts from patting myself on the back). In an fuzzy alcohol buzz, I even offered to wrangle toddlers so their parents could eat sitting down. Stupid FEH! NEVER BE HELPFUL!!!
That just opened the bingo floodgates...
From a couple of lushy barfly parents:
"So when will we be at your kids birthday?"
"Never"
"Oh you'll change your mind"
"No."
"Really?"
"Yes, I don't like cleaning up messes. Here's your kid back" (I hand off a dirt encrusted toddler)

From my friend who has no children, is single and whose life is consumed by her corporate job where she is currently training people to train the overseas workers who will be replacing them. I'd add here I've never told her my thoughts on how evil and inhuman I feel her current assignment is, and she knows just how I feel about children.
"Pretty soon you guys will be doing this"
"no"
"Oh, you'll change your mind"
"Doubtful"
"I bet"
"No, seriously, I won't because I know if I do I'll end up dead or in a mental hospital. Here, do you know who this belongs to?" (and I pass off a shrieking, dirt encrusted child who had tripped over my drink)

From a couple who came in a minivan with a jesus fish, never met before in my life, and I probably never would had I not gone to the party.
"So I hear you're getting married"
"Yup" (as a child I am wrangling leaps at my torso and catches itself, monkeylike)
"How many are you planning on having?"
"Oh, I think this will be my only wedding" (as the child begins eating my hair)
"HAHA, children. How many children do you think you'll have"
"Oh I won't be having any" (as the child grabs my glass and discovers the joys of warm, backwash wine)
"But, you're so good with them"
"Because I have to be, they aren't mine. I always try to return other people's things in good shape." (as my torso discovers the joys of warm wine)

But from the parents of the kid whose birthday it was, I received only understanding and thanks.
Parents - "You were great with the kids, Feh"
Feh - "No worries, they were cool"
P-"Well, you kept them busy, and out of trouble"
F-"No problems, thanks for hosting this fantastic party"(with home made sushi! they had to have spent days making finger foods)
P-"You're welcome. It's always good to give them back isn't it?"
F-"Yes indeed it is!"

Feh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> The children were remarkably well behaved, and I
> was remarkably tolerant and helpful (ooh, my arm
> hurts from patting myself on the back). In an
> fuzzy alcohol buzz, I even offered to wrangle
> toddlers so their parents could eat sitting down.
> Stupid FEH! NEVER BE HELPFUL!!!
> That just opened the bingo floodgates...
> From a couple of lushy barfly parents:
> "So when will we be at your kids birthday?"
> "Never"
> "Oh you'll change your mind"
> "No."
> "Really?"
> "Yes, I don't like cleaning up messes. Here's
> your kid back" (I hand off a dirt encrusted
> toddler)
>
> From my friend who has no children, is single and
> whose life is consumed by her corporate job where
> she is currently training people to train the
> overseas workers who will be replacing them. I'd
> add here I've never told her my thoughts on how
> evil and inhuman I feel her current assignment is,
> and she knows just how I feel about children.
> "Pretty soon you guys will be doing this"
> "no"
> "Oh, you'll change your mind"
> "Doubtful"
> "I bet"
> "No, seriously, I won't because I know if I do
> I'll end up dead or in a mental hospital. Here,
> do you know who this belongs to?" (and I pass off
> a shrieking, dirt encrusted child who had tripped
> over my drink)

Don't be so hard on yourself, Feh. You did tell these fucks what you thought when you got the bingo of how "you will be doing this soon" as misery enjoys company. I've also learned NOT to be helpful when it comes to kids...

Oh I like kids well enough and don't mind helping out, because I'm a helper. It's breeders what ruin kids. To be honest, I know I would make a good parent...except that my anxiety would cause me to worry myself into a mental institution, if I had to do any part of alone the depression would cause me to kill myself, and I would have to give everything I enjoy up to home school because I believe the only thing schools do now is destroy individuality and strangeness. Oh, and I have no hope for the future getting any better, so the guilt of bringing another human into that situation would destroy me.

I do intensly dislike people assuming I don't know my own mind at my advanced age. In the above mentioned group of friends, I am one of the older ones by at least a couple years and they all know my lifestyle, opinions and habits. I consider their assertations that I will "change my mind" to be quite condesending and disrespectful. Certianly not how friends treat eachother in my world.

You did your good deed, Feh! Gawd knows, I could have never put up with what you did. The people and their comments would have been a pain in the ass too.

Me? While I pretty much have the same mindset you have described in your first paragraph, I also just don't care for kids. The drooling, mess, constant neediness, noise, clutter of kindercrap all over, and the 9,295,498 reasons I chose not to have them. I admire you for being so tolerant!