I just need to work some things out...

Sigh...you seem to think that men, who hold most of the CEO and high governmental positions that dictate how our every day lives go, are the most oppressed and beat down segment of society when in all actuality, it's that the poor of both genders are. It's not the holes vs. things, it's the haves vs. have nots.

"since women are 51 % of the population, why arent there 51% in those fields..could it be they chose not to do those jobs..but more women go for the softer jobs, administration, and the like.. why shouldnt it be 51% women 49% men.. in every field.. why are the admin jobs mostly given to women, are men not "right" for them.."
Lessee...because women still aren't encouraged by society to do hard manual labor, and men still aren't encouraged by society to do things that involve "caring" and working with people. People are pushed in directions by their guidance councelors, teachers and professors, generally just based on their genders. A woman who is interested in science will be encouraged to be a science teacher, a man who has the same interests will be encouraged to be a researcher. I'm not saying it's right, it's just how it is. I mean, you may as well be asking why 49% of hairdressers aren't men...

"ok men only have one thing, work till you die, support your family. (thats family as in cf family, parent family), if you get a divorce your screwed, you still have to support your family, you get oopsed you have to support it, if men got the children and the woman paid that would be fair.. but its not like that.. courts arent like that they are pro family and pro woman. and to be that way they have to screw the man.. who then has no choice but to work, if he doesnt, he can go in prison, he can lose his right to travel (passport taken away). is that fair.. no its bloody well not. but thats what happens today. "
No...ALL poor to moderate income people of both genders will have to work until they die. VERY FEW poor to moderate income families (CF included) are able to survive on ONE income.
Courts were set up and mostly run by men. Most judges are men. So it's men beating down men, in that forum. And did you know that until a couple decades ago it was pretty much aokay in the court system to rape a woman? And that a husband can't possibly force his wife to have sex, because they're married and that's her job? And that when a woman called the cops because her husband was beating her, they used to just say "hey, could you keep that beating quiet, your disturbing the neighbors?" Women still have to prove in court that they weren't "deserving" of a rape or beating, they're guilty until proven innocent. So yes, maybe they do get the soft end of the stick when it comes to divorce, but when it comes to violence they still get the beating end.

"men are treated like scum, treated like we are monsters. we are expected to give our lives to save women and children. why? let them save themselves.. if they want to be treated like men, then dont expect any preferential treatment, men never have had preferential treatment.. unless you count the early deaths. "
Because historically men were either rapists or saviors...if you want to break that trend, then say No to it. Don't be the "strong protector" bristling at every gaze another man puts on your woman, don't go into the rescue field, open a knitting shop...and for chrissakes stop saying things like "Women just want to be taken care of and all men have to work all the time like dogs to take care of those women". That's just playing into it. You aren't a victim here, no one is forcing you to wear a jockstrap and shoot a gun to save a bus full of nuns and orphans.

"men have little choice now and especially in the past. women could stay home, have kids, go to college, and have a career.. men.. they were looked down upon if they didnt go to work.. and called losers. hows that for the life of males.."
That's the PAST and that can not be changed, deal with it and make the future better. Guess what, people of both genders who don't work are generally thought of as losers...and either way, you're still caring what "society" thinks. As long as you care about that, you'll be miserable if you don't fit in the way they want you to.


"it is about choice more so in these times.. women could work in these jobs.. but they dont want too. so since women dont want it.. men will have to do it.. "
And since the white people don't want to do it for cheap, the brown people will. Men don't HAVE to do anything of the sort to pick up the "slack" left by women not going into those positions. No man has ever been forced against his will to be a firefighter or cop...and historically there probably have been many women who would have liked to hold those positions that were disallowed from doing so. Soldier, yes men have been conscriped against their will, but that gets everyone cheesed off and so they don't have drafts any more.

Dear Leaning toward Childfree-

It is nice that your father values and loves you so much,but you only have one life to live,Honey.This is your life and it is not a dress rehearsal.

You must decide what you want and see through your own "programming"that you might have experienced growing up.

I am talking about religious dogma that mandates that you as a woman are nothing but a uterus and a sidekick to a man who happily produces kids to carry on the family name,etc.

I am talking about you only being considered second class because you were "crafted from Adam's rib",per religious doctrine.

I am talking about seeing through societey's norm that everyone is good and "normal" if they reproduce, and somehow considered bad or odd if you don't.

I am talking about seeeing through the 1950's era "rules" that women should only be considered domestic slaves that devote their lives to only making and raising children and keeping with their husbands wishes and that he is the final word of authority on everything.You are a human being and you deserve the freedom to make your own choices and decisions without other's influence.

I am talking about pressure for grandkids from your family.
I am talking about peer pressure from your friends and coworkers.
I am also talking about how misery loves company.

Read Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique".Betty writes about in this book how women who followed society's norm in the 50's and 60's of only going to college to score a husband and then dropping out because marriage husband and children were supposed to make a woman be "complete".Betty called this "The Problem That Has No Name" in her book.These women turned to secretly drinking and doing drugs to kill the pain that they had not felt complete,fulfilled and satified with their lives because they followed what was widely considered normal without thinking about what they really wanted.How can one "answer" fit everyones needs and desires of what they want out of life?

The people in your life that are trying to influence you will not be there to help you pay the half million dollar price tag for raising a kid to age 18.They will not be there to comfort you when you are ready to leap off of a tall building because a colicky infant has kept you from sleeping 5 nights in a row.They will not be there when you are battling with an insolent teenager who is hanging out with the wrong crowd, nor will they be able to press a magic button for you and make it stop.They will also not be there to participate in childcare if your significant other who is the father conveniently decides that he doesn't want to do his share or the child rearing responsibilities,or help financially.

Child raising is not just happy peaceful Kodak moments but if you listen to other people who want you to have kids you will believe it is all only good times.They don't tell you the parts that make their lives an unescapeable Hell.

Read the posts at True Mom Confessions and True Dad Confessions for the truth about what it is really like,as this is where people speak their minds unedited,and anonomously.

What really let me know being childfree was for me was when a 60 year old woman told me once that if she could live her life over again she would have not had children because she did it for her husband and had 2 boys who made her life misereable all of the time.She meant not only wen they were little but also since they became adults too.I was shocked at first to hear this as I was only 21 at the time and I still thought that it would be a horrible thing for someone who already was a mother to say,but then I realized the value of her candid message and what it meant to me going forward in later years.

It is better to know you don't want any kids ever and not have them than to have them and not want them and then neglect or abuse them or just regret your choice and even subtly take it out on them.It's not fair to another human being who deserves to be loved and cherished.If you are not sure 1,000,000% then don't do it.

Also think about the state of environmental ruin that our Earth is already in.It is not going to get better.I took an Ecology course in school that taught me that in any ecosystem there is only a limited amount of resources,say in a pond with fish for example.When the number of fish in a lake gets to be too many to outnumber the resources of food space and clean water,they will all die off.The ones that die raise the ammonia levels in the water and that kills off the rest of them.
Nature has its own way of reducing over population in every species but humans.This will be coming in the future even though we fail to recognize it.
The polar ice caps are now melting on Earth which will lead to loss of land mass in the future and a cramped life for the people who are already here and in the future.Overpopulation is a cause of disease famine and violence and if you don't believe me,just look at the third world countries that exist right now, and their living conditions.

Please think these things over as you only get one chance to make the right decision for you & God Bless no matter what your decision is.