From Mommy To Employee--How to step back into full-time work

There's no way I would hire a moo who has been out of work for 11 years and cranked out four crotchturds! If employers are increasingly interested in hiring moos who have taken extended vacations, that's BAD news.

From Mommy To Employee--How to step back into full-time work

By Beth Teitell | August 5, 2007

The good news: Employers are increasingly interested in hiring mothers who took time off to raise children. The bad news: The outfit you wore to your goodbye party in 1996 no longer cuts it. That's the word from Newton's Carol Fishman Cohen, coauthor of the new book Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay-At-Home Moms Who Want to Return to Work.

Q; You have an MBA from Harvard University, but even so, your path back to work - four kids and 11 years later - wasn't smooth. Help other mothers avoid your mistake.

A; I had a finance career, and when I thought of returning to work, I thought I should go back to finance. It was what I knew, and I was good at it. It wasn't until I was well into the job that I realized I didn't want to do financial analysis anymore. I neglected to go through rigorous analysis of how my interests and skills had changed. It's important to assess your career options before you decide what you're going back to.

Q; How do you explain to employers that decade-long gap in your resume?

A: You do not want to apologize. You should show you have done work to update yourself professionally. I didn't read the newspaper much when I was out of the workforce, and I was afraid I'd go on an interview and talk about a company that didn't exist anymore. I resubscribed to The Wall Street Journal and read it cover to cover for six months. Consider going to professional conferences.

Q: But what about the self-esteem thing?

A: Even women who were tremendously accomplished in their professional lives often lose confidence. We remind them that people you worked with have a frozen-in-time memory of you, not the diminished view you have of yourself.

Q: How do you tell the kids you won't be around as much?

A: You want to convey that your desire to return to work is not a rejection of your life at home but a chance to develop a part of yourself that's been dormant. We don't subscribe to the "I want to go back to work to buy you things" approach.

Q: How do husbands take the change?

A: Either they want their wives to return to work before the wives are ready because they're feeling financial pressure, or they're so accustomed to a life where they've only had to focus on work that they get concerned about taking on additional roles at home.

Q: Is a new suit really necessary?

A: It may be hard to make an investment when you haven't made any income, but it's important not to look dated.

and the companies love to be seen as caring and giving these poor moo's a chance.. of course someone is always.. the worst off.

if a man comes to you who hasnt worked for 5 years, and a woman with 5 years would you give them the same chance? if you dont thats sexism.

if its a childfree woman, does she have the same chance, what about if they are an ethnic minority.. it should be best person for the job, regardless of sex race, creed, not due to some "quota", or some look i care for mothers.. see i gave them a job they are woefully inadequate in doing, and make more mistakes than a 13 year old intern.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

oh for chrissakes...
How's this for an answer to ALL the questions,
"Use your common sense", oh wait, you had children and gave up everything to raise them, so of course, you have NO common sense.
Seriously, these are things EVERYONE who is out of work for years is going to have to do, why not just have the article be for everyone? Oh, I forgot, if it doesn't say "Mommy" in the title, no mommy will ever read it.

Cry me a river, moooooooo.

Just show up in a pair of pink stretch pants, tie your tri-colored hair back in a scrunchy, and leave the kids in the car while you run in for the interview. Be sure it's a hot day. And be sure to mention to the interviewer that you don't have much time cuz you hafta get home to make chicken fingers and hot dogs for the kyds dinner.

Talk incessantly about your identity as a mooooo and how your kids are your #1 priority and you'll be sure to get the job!

Obviously a conversation from one breeding moo to another.

i have seen jobs given to single un trained moos, when the other candidate is trained and knows the job inside out. it should be best person for the job

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I got an e-mail from a friend where we are to list two names we use, two jobs we have had, two beverages we like, two of our favourite activies, etc, etc...

My older friend, of course, listed her two "professions" as "mother" and "grandmother" rather than the work she did for the State or for a non-profit organization back in the Day. Nowhere do men list fatherhood as a profession.

I notice on cars, usually moo mobiles, how women have bumper stickers listing motherhood as the greatest "profession". Yeah...right! List that on a resume! Can I list being a "good friend" on a job app??? Okay...:nerd

I was talking to a job counselor once about "illegal" questions at interviews and about how they can't ask if you're going to have kids and how they assume if you have kids you will always be leaving because of the kids and such, or that they assume you'll eventually have kids and then leave to stay home with them. I asked him, "if I were to 'accidentally' let it slip that I were never having kids, do you think it'd make me look better?" He told me yes.

When I apply for a job, I always mention that I will need only INDIVIDUAL benefits--hint, hint!!

A family package of benefits is much more expensive. I see how much the medical and dental benefits are where I work; the family premiums are three times the individual amounts.

amethusos*, you can list "moomie" on a resume if you want to apply for something that involves duties like wiping shit, swerving over the road in a moovan while yapping on a cell phone or making "nutritious" microwave macaroni with fake cheese sauce.