Drunks - 2: Kids - 0

I did it this weekend, I finally did it...in all my drunken interactions with children, I'd never acually knocked one over, but this weekend I got TWO! YAY!

I was at a beer festival where 3000 adults pay $30 each to drink all the microbrewed beer that over 300 midwest breweries can serve up. I don't even like beer all that much, but said YUM many times over at the meads and ciders that made a showing as well. Anyway, it's an event where adults get as drunk as they can and still manage to stay upright enough to get on the shuttle busses at the end. I did see a couple infants, but didn't hear them and thought "poor bastard's babysitters probably crapped out" and stumbled back to my favorite brewery's table.

I find it easiest to walk when I'm drunk if I look at my destination and head toward it without looking at my feet. I figure, if I know there's nothing at knee level then I don't have to worry. As I'm staggering back to my group's blanket I feel something fleshy bounce off my leg and become entangled in my feet. I stumble over it as another fleshy thing bounces off another leg and the wailing begins. Two toddlers are lying on the beer soaked ground, wailing at the top of their lungs, while a moo is running over with a look on her face like I just grabbed the kids and shat on their heads. As she picked them up, I slammed my beer, threw up my hands and said "I didn't know I'd have to watch out for children AT A BEER FEST FILLED WITH DRUNK ADULTS!! GREAT JOB!!!!" and shambled back to my group...which included parents of a kid about the same age as the toddlers I tripped over, who congratulated me on my graceful feet and pro-adult attitude.

HA! EXCELLENT! Fucking asshole parents.

Why isn't this stuff considered contributing to the corruption of a minor? And punishable by law?

Breeders: leave your shit loaves at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nicely done! What are kids doing at a beer festival anyways? Around here, you have to be of legal drinking age to attend such things.

You win!

I agree with canadian chick...it doesn't even make sense that anyone under legal drinking age would be allowed in. I'm in the U.S. and attending the Washington DC Food & Wine Expo a few years ago (because my hubby and I got in free...he was in culinary school at the time, and in exchange for helping out with the cooking demonstrations at the festival on one day, he got free tickets for the next!)...no onder 21 was allowed in. It was awesome to be able to walk around, sampling international wines, and not tripping over brats or morons with strollers.

Oh my dog, I just noticed how bad my spelling/grammar is...pardon me, I just got a new tattoo, and it's on my inner forearm, so my typing is suffering.

*attended

*no one under 21

Wisconsin is a wonderful world of alcohol fueled debauchery. In small towns it's not unusual to find "bar sprogs", though generally they're just stopping in to pick up Dad's smokes, or some deep fried dinner, you may see them just drinking soda and hanging out with the drunks.

I don't think it's that we're pro-kids in bars, but more that the culture so pro-alcohol any consideration of the kids is secondary...at least in small towns. I'm guessing that attitude rubs off pretty quickly on the young, "educated" breeders who've stuck around after attending college, or who have moved here under the misassumption that this is america's pure, virginal "heartland".

DW & I were at the Burlington Brewers Fest earlier this summer and there were breeders there. Not many, but a few. One pair was pushing a stroller around (in the grass) and DW said mockingly, "You've still got it!" The moo turned to look at her but I think the joke might not have hit home. I had to stifle a guffaw.