On some of the men's forums the following comments repeatedly appear. Based on the quantity, I'd have to say that some grains of truth are involved, though I suspect
some of this is overstated. I present them for your perusal, and my comments follow.
1. Women dramatically reduce or entirely end sexual relations after marriage. She put out to get the ring, they say, and once she got the wedding and he's trapped, she feels no need to put out any more. This is especially true after she has a baybee. He still has his urges, she won't help him with that, so he is forced to look elsewhere. Some tell a bitter joke: "What food causes women to lose their libido forever? Wedding cake."
2. The wife uses sex as a weapon, but in general she isn't normally giving him any. One comment that recurs is that she puts out only when he makes a major purchase for her: a new vehicle, jewelry, etc., then it quickly ends. Same end result as No. 1.
3. The wife lets herself go, especially after having chyldren. Hard to get excited about someone who has put on 50 or more pounds—female or male. Her attitude is that he should love her as she is. Same end result as No. 1.
4. The wife becomes a real shrew: unpleasant to be around, unpleasant to come home to. Same end result as No. 1.
5. The wife files for unilateral no-fault divorce using reasons that would have been considered a joke under the old "fault" system: "I'm bored," "I'm not fulfilled," "I don't feel 'loved'," "I just don't want to be married any more," etc. Studies and stats from around the US do show that the wife initiates 70%-80% of all no-fault divorces, and none of the standard fault reasons such as abuse or adultery are usually given as the reason. The men's groups call this "cashing out", as she breaks the marriage contract but is not only
not penalized as anyone else breaking a contract would be, but is actually
rewarded: alimony, child support, and asset splits. Often she gets the house and he gets to keep making the house payments.
6. The wife is cheating, has her lover's child(ren), and the husband unwittingly is supporting and raising it. This seems to be a more and more common thread, as women rapidly catch up with and surpass men in cheating. Under the laws in most states, a chyld born during the marriage is presumed to be the husband's, and he must pay support after a divorce even if the chyld is proven not to be his. True stat: in roughly a third of cases where the husband has suspicions that a child is not his, it's true, confirmed by DNA tests. For the population as a whole, the number seems to be about 10%, but depending on the locale this number varies a lot.
There seems to be a lot of blame to go around for women as well as men. Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who has a syndicated radio program in the US and numerous books about morality and family issues, has addressed many of these themes in favor of husbands. For No. 3 above, for example, she says that putting on weight and not taking care of oneself is a violation of the marriage covenant.
I don't like anyone cheating on their spouse, but in certain limited circumstances I can understand what could drive it. Let me make it clear that a man with a good wife has no business in my book playing around—and I've known some of those as well. They appall me, and I have no use for them. And I've told them so.
Cheating by either spouse breaks the marriage contract, but these days it seems that contracts are made to be broken. Sad to say, the wives are just as guilty as the husbands now, and we can chalk it up to the general decline in morality we've been witnessing in society since the 1960s. Let's face it: a lot of people, male and female, simply won't control themselves and grow up. That is the crux of the problem.
All of this isn't intended to point a finger of blame, but simply to show another side and perhaps encourage discussion.