Made women think... :-}

I had to mail off my divorce forms to the county sheriff's office where my soon-to-be former husband resides. It has been a job-and-a-half seeing the paralegal, going to the courthouse to file, and then making certain the required forms were in the envelope as I got two different answers from the SCSO reps. I just sent copies of everything. I want this to be done!!!

Back to the topic...

I sighed after paying for everything at the UPS Store and said divorce should be easier in this country as it is in some overseas nations. One woman was shocked that a divorce can be done quickly without grief elsewhere. I also opened my big mouth and said that with that privilege how women had to PROVE bad things -- such as abuse being documented by law enforcement and the hospitals -- before being allowed any of the husband's assets if she put zero into the marriage. I also said that I support that 100% and how screwing another woman outside of the marriage is not enough for "wrong doing".

I know I shocked :lips the hell out of the women...especially a young moo-to-be who is "engaged". Maybe I did make someone think today as I am sure those women never expected to hear another WOMAN make such a statement! Being female does not mean they are to be treated like children in divorce court. I am certain the older one was looking at me with dagger eyes...:nerd

About the pregnant one, this older female customer just yabbered on and on how she had that preggo glow. Even the moo-to-be said that she felt no glow but just wanted her shift to be over. Yet...the customer had to INSIST that there was a glow. Yeah...right! I am glad the young lady DID tell the truth of how it sucks to be pregnant...even though many months ago how she told a yuppie SAHM with a blondie female toddler how she wanted a little girl just like that. The young woman really should have gone to the abortion clinic 'cause her life ain't gonna be like the housewife who lives in one of the Julington Creek's subdivision.

and it doesnt have to be real violence, not anymore, in some states shouting at your wife is considered abuse. certain feminist organisations, purposely say make up some stuff.. so that they could get more money from the man.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

mercurior Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> and it doesnt have to be real violence, not
> anymore, in some states shouting at your wife is
> considered abuse. certain feminist organisations,
> purposely say make up some stuff.. so that they
> could get more money from the man.

That is such bullshit! God...I would be labeled a major abuser if I had every single time I shouted at someone counted against me. Please...abuse to me means bruises and trips to the ER...not calling the woman a "fucking bitch" or a "cunt" as some truly are so there is no big deal in saying those things. Yes...many women lie about abuse which is WHY I believe there HAS to be concrete proof if the wife claims she is afraid of the husband and has been abused. No police report or ER documentation of constant injuries means no fucking money. The woman can work double shifts at McDonalds or take it off at the local strip club & then "bring her work home"...if you know what I mean...if she wants out of the marriage that fucking badly and has no $$$ due to making a CHOICE not to work and put into the household.

actually in some cases shouting at a woman is considered abuse. and i am not kidding


http://www.healnetwork.org/woman%20abuse/woman%20abuse.htm

In Canada, woman abuse (stalking and physical and sexual abuse) is considered a criminal act. There are several forms of woman abuse in our society.

FORMS OF ABUSE

Verbal

Insults, shouting, swearing, put-downs and degrading language.

Emotional Abuse

Threatening behaviour, (i.e. threats to harm or murder the woman and/or children, threats to take away the children, threats to commit suicide or murder-suicide). Neglect of emotional needs.



Psychological Abuse

Inducing fear, accusations, excessive suspicions of the woman's actions, isolating and undermining. Not letting you have privacy when you want too. Dumb, stupid, incompetent.

Financial Abuse

Financial abuse as a form of isolating and disempowering the abused woman. Financial abuse is also a control mechanism that limits the woman from becoming independent or looking for social supports. This type of abuse can manifest itself in behaviours such as checking the gas gage on the car or the odometer to see how much gas was used or miles driven and/or dolling out small amounts of money, forcing the victim to ask for more. If the abuse woman works outside the family home she is often forced to deposit her pay cheque into her partner's bank account. Often the abuser will put all the family assets in his name. For the abuser money is an extension of power. (Miller, 1995; Hoffman, 1984). The abused woman is aware that if she leaves her partner, she and her children may live in poverty thereafter. (Fraser, 1992).



Courtesy of Education Wife Assault www.womanabuseprevention.com


http://www.proyectovision.net/english/news/07/abuse.html


http://www.mensaid.com/child_abuse/press-abused_woman_killed_husband.htm

all about verbal abuse..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Dang...you type quicker than I do, Merc!!!! :cool

yes, i am trained for fast typing.

but its true. they couch it in terms of emotional abuse. so if i shouted to you a bad word you could call that abuse..

http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/nancy_s_story.html

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

amethusos* Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> I sighed after paying for everything at the UPS
> Store and said divorce should be easier in this
> country as it is in some overseas nations. One
> woman was shocked that a divorce can be done
> quickly without grief elsewhere. I also opened my
> big mouth and said that with that privilege how
> women had to PROVE bad things -- such as abuse
> being documented by law enforcement and the
> hospitals -- before being allowed any of the
> husband's assets if she put zero into the
> marriage. I also said that I support that 100% and
> how screwing another woman outside of the marriage
> is not enough for "wrong doing".
>
>

I agree with you on all points except for the whole thing about cheating. Marriage is a legal contract, and the breaching of that contract should have consequences, just as it would in any other legal situation. Still, it's undeniable that men get the shittiest possible end of the stick in divorces, and a lot of practices desperately need to change.

StefTheGuest Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I agree with you on all points except for the
> whole thing about cheating. Marriage is a legal
> contract, and the breaching of that contract
> should have consequences, just as it would in any
> other legal situation. Still, it's undeniable that
> men get the shittiest possible end of the stick in
> divorces, and a lot of practices desperately need
> to change.

Women are so childish when it comes to sexuality. NO moneys should be paid out to an ex-wife just because the man did what was natural...got laid by someone else. The quickest way for men...and women...to start to look around is to have to promise never to fuck anyone again for their entire lives. I do agree that it is messed up when a good wife, who is a decent person, has to find out about "indiscretions". However, we are all adults so deal with it. Contracts are not to put conditions on what people do with their bodies. The only consequence of being unfaithful is that the other spouse gets a divorce. No one should lose his or her house or $$$ because of fucking around. Women do need to grow up...

amethusos* Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Women are so childish when it comes to sexuality.
> NO moneys should be paid out to an ex-wife just
> because the man did what was natural...got laid by
> someone else. The quickest way for men...and
> women...to start to look around is to have to
> promise never to fuck anyone again for their
> entire lives. I do agree that it is messed up when
> a good wife, who is a decent person, has to find
> out about "indiscretions". However, we are all
> adults so deal with it. Contracts are not to put
> conditions on what people do with their bodies.
> The only consequence of being unfaithful is that
> the other spouse gets a divorce. No one should
> lose his or her house or $$$ because of fucking
> around. Women do need to grow up...



I would agree with that in principle, as long as there is no situation in which a person seeking a divorce could claim “wrong doing”. If ALL divorces, regardless of circumstances, were simply a matter of giving back to each individual what they contributed to the marriage, then I agree.

This is really insulting to men- Saying it's natural for all men to cheat, is like saying it's natural for all women to breed. We, as intelligent beings, have brains to think for ourselves, as we CF obviously know. I don't think it's wrong to expect someone, MAN or WOMAN, to be faithful.

Unless you think men are more like animals who cant be trusted to control their urges...

Elizabeth Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is really insulting to men- Saying it's
> natural for all men to cheat, is like saying it's
> natural for all women to breed. We, as
> intelligent beings, have brains to think for
> ourselves, as we CF obviously know. I don't think
> it's wrong to expect someone, MAN or WOMAN, to be
> faithful.

It is sad to get so bent out of shape over sexuality. We are one of the few societies that place such a big importance on monogamy. Most other nations and cultures allow for more than one wife and/or accept lovers for both genders. Personally, I would not want to know if the man I was involved with was having other relations. Discretion is the key. A woman should get a divorce if the affairs are flaunted in her face but no payouts should be required unless the wife admits that she felt her marriage was a prostitution agreement.

These urges are natural regardless what any of the women try to claim with "how wrong it is" or issues about "urges" as the Prof makes. After all, up to 70% of the men polled anonymously admitted to extramarital affairs. More than 40% of the women admitted the same. As I mentioned before, there are worse things to happen to a woman in a marriage than her husband taking someone else to bed. A man should not lose his house or his assets for doing what is natural.

The problem is too many people marry too young thinking they will never want anyone or anything else. Saying, "I do," and promising to have sex with only one person forever is the quickest way to make the "forbidden" seem more tempting. Some people can do it but it is less of the norm than the Family Values crowd would like to say. Look at the religious politicians and ministers caught with prostitutes, escorts, other women, etc. Being childfree does not guarantee that the mate will not stray.

No kidding, Elizabeth. Obviously, I can't guarantee my husband hasn't strayed; but I trust him. That's the bedrock of a relationship, especially a marriage. Once trust is gone, it's damned hard to get it back. If a guy doesn't want or intend to stay with one woman, he shouldn't marry. That applies to women, too. Playing the field might be cool when you're single, but it just sucks when you aren't.

Am, I'm sorry you've had some shitty experiences with marriage and men. Please try not to let it color your views of ALL married folks! :lips

So, from what I'm reading...
Some people say it's natural for women to have children, and that it is a natural state for a woman to be a mother. Yet, across the board childfree say, "No, we are civilized humans, with intelligence and free will in a modern society with a variety of life options, thusly it is just as natural for a woman to choose NOT to breed."

Some people say it's natural for men to stick their dicks in any hole, because that's what they do, and to expect a man to control his sexual urges is wrong, and will only end in failure, because a man can't control his sexual urges, he must do it and if his chosen partner isn't available, it's perfectly right and natural he do it with whomever is available. And if he signs a contract stating that he won't do this, but breaks the terms of that contract, he shouldn't have to deal with any negative consequences as a result of breaking that contract, because he was simply doing what was natural, because he can't control his urges, because he's a man and men have no natural control of their desires.

Does anyone see a logical problem with this? I know I do.
If two sane, sober, adult persons sign a legal contract, they are expected by law to abide by the terms of that contract. If one breaks the terms of that contract, it's perfectly acceptable, in my eyes, for them to have to pay whatever sort of penality might be assessed for breaking the contract. If you say men, by their nature, can not be trusted to agree to certain contractual terms, then it seems that men, in general, should be put in the category of the insane, young, drunk, stoned and other people whose signatures are invalid on contracts.

The problem is more than financial, there are also health risks that a straying partner puts on their unknowing faithful partner, if they aren't taking precautions with their sexual adventures outside of the relationship. The most rapidly growing group of people being diagnosed with HIV is married women whose husbands work away from home for weeks or months at a time. Simply put, the biggest shitty asshole thing to do is to put a person at risk for HIV, who trusts your commitment to a monogamous relationship and has no chance of protecting themselves.

i am 34, its my first marriage, some may say i am an idealist, or a dreamer, but i have in me a sense of love, need, for my rowan, i just need her. she makes every day of my life better. even if she bitches and complains to me, i feel better knowing she is there. to me thats true love.

a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons, or too fast or whatever. and they pay that price.

i have seen men and women marry after knowing each other for months, without getting to know the other one.. the problem in divorces, in the uk at least and sometimes in some states in america, the divorce lawyers are the only winners, and its usually the man that gets shafted..

this is regardless of who cheated who, if a woman cheats on a man, she should pay just the same. if a man cheats on a woman then he should pay. saying that it should be fair to both.

but it does depend on the individuals. i could never cheat on rowan, first i would kill myself for causing her pain, and my family would kill me, and she would leave..

and the same for her. men and women dont have to follow what "nature" decides we have to do, we are intelligent beings, we can decide to shit in the street or NOT, have children or NOT. cheat or NOT. to say one group doesnt have the intelligence to control their own actions, turns that group into lesser beings. and once that starts, you can justify anything by those new criteria.

if ALL men are just looking for any hole, then that means they are morally, defective, so its only "fair" to take everything they have. because they are less than woman. this is the worst kind of discrimination and hate.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

**Does anyone see a logical problem with this? I know I do.
If two sane, sober, adult persons sign a legal contract, they are expected by law to abide by the terms of that contract. If one breaks the terms of that contract, it's perfectly acceptable, in my eyes, for them to have to pay whatever sort of penality might be assessed for breaking the contract. If you say men, by their nature, can not be trusted to agree to certain contractual terms, then it seems that men, in general, should be put in the category of the insane, young, drunk, stoned and other people whose signatures are invalid on contracts. **

Damn straight, Feh. It's deja vu all over again.

Having to pay a penalty to break the contract of marriage via "straying" basically states marriage is really a "matter-o-money" as CFBfromLA's dad said rather than "true love". No woman deserves a settlement just because Hubby banged another chick. That only makes Wifey a paid whore. I think women know that they cannot compete as they age and the man looks around which is why they get vicious in a divorce when the marriage ends due to another female. No one needs to pay the other spouse to get out of that contract!

In this day and age, it is ridiculous for people to have a state contract to declare their affection for each other and to try to guarantee no fucking around. People bleat over the "natural" bit of cheating when we are one of the few cultures that place such a big deal on monogamy. Sure...I do not want to know if a mate is fooling around. Discretion is the key. What adults do is not another person's business...even if there is a marriage. I can see why men look at getting married as a "ball and chain".

My divorces were not over "other women" but other issues. I would have rather had a marriage end over an affair than $$$ issues and other B*S. That is less of a hassle as the man just moves onto his new honey.

On some of the men's forums the following comments repeatedly appear. Based on the quantity, I'd have to say that some grains of truth are involved, though I suspect some of this is overstated. I present them for your perusal, and my comments follow.

1. Women dramatically reduce or entirely end sexual relations after marriage. She put out to get the ring, they say, and once she got the wedding and he's trapped, she feels no need to put out any more. This is especially true after she has a baybee. He still has his urges, she won't help him with that, so he is forced to look elsewhere. Some tell a bitter joke: "What food causes women to lose their libido forever? Wedding cake."

2. The wife uses sex as a weapon, but in general she isn't normally giving him any. One comment that recurs is that she puts out only when he makes a major purchase for her: a new vehicle, jewelry, etc., then it quickly ends. Same end result as No. 1.

3. The wife lets herself go, especially after having chyldren. Hard to get excited about someone who has put on 50 or more pounds—female or male. Her attitude is that he should love her as she is. Same end result as No. 1.

4. The wife becomes a real shrew: unpleasant to be around, unpleasant to come home to. Same end result as No. 1.

5. The wife files for unilateral no-fault divorce using reasons that would have been considered a joke under the old "fault" system: "I'm bored," "I'm not fulfilled," "I don't feel 'loved'," "I just don't want to be married any more," etc. Studies and stats from around the US do show that the wife initiates 70%-80% of all no-fault divorces, and none of the standard fault reasons such as abuse or adultery are usually given as the reason. The men's groups call this "cashing out", as she breaks the marriage contract but is not only not penalized as anyone else breaking a contract would be, but is actually rewarded: alimony, child support, and asset splits. Often she gets the house and he gets to keep making the house payments.

6. The wife is cheating, has her lover's child(ren), and the husband unwittingly is supporting and raising it. This seems to be a more and more common thread, as women rapidly catch up with and surpass men in cheating. Under the laws in most states, a chyld born during the marriage is presumed to be the husband's, and he must pay support after a divorce even if the chyld is proven not to be his. True stat: in roughly a third of cases where the husband has suspicions that a child is not his, it's true, confirmed by DNA tests. For the population as a whole, the number seems to be about 10%, but depending on the locale this number varies a lot.

There seems to be a lot of blame to go around for women as well as men. Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who has a syndicated radio program in the US and numerous books about morality and family issues, has addressed many of these themes in favor of husbands. For No. 3 above, for example, she says that putting on weight and not taking care of oneself is a violation of the marriage covenant.

I don't like anyone cheating on their spouse, but in certain limited circumstances I can understand what could drive it. Let me make it clear that a man with a good wife has no business in my book playing around—and I've known some of those as well. They appall me, and I have no use for them. And I've told them so.

Cheating by either spouse breaks the marriage contract, but these days it seems that contracts are made to be broken. Sad to say, the wives are just as guilty as the husbands now, and we can chalk it up to the general decline in morality we've been witnessing in society since the 1960s. Let's face it: a lot of people, male and female, simply won't control themselves and grow up. That is the crux of the problem.

All of this isn't intended to point a finger of blame, but simply to show another side and perhaps encourage discussion.

but as you said there are exceptions, i love rowan, and if she put on 50lbs i would just have more to love ..

but as i have said in other posts, pre nups can be contested, some are voided if there is a child, some are voided if a marriage is over 10 years. or the judge may decide its unfair and can change it..

so all in all.. contracts are risky.. for men. the only winners are the lawyers.

i think the same k man.. are all men to blame.. no. are all women to blame no.. its so easy to say this happened the man was to blame, and then all men are to blame, same with women. but thats the state of cold war between the sexes today.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

So, the hubby's banging anything in a skirt (since he can't control himself, and "it's his nature"), and he brings home a nice little Herpes rash, and gives it to "the cunt". That would be his wife, since she was stupid enough to marry him, knowing that his maleness prevented him from thinking with anything but his dick. And, since being a married woman automatically makes her a worthless prostitute, without the ability to love, just fuck the poor, poor man out of his money, she deserves nothing for the nasty Herpes he so generously bestowed upon her, without her knowledge? Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter. She's just a whore, anyway. And, since all men are like that, it couldn't possibly be his fault. He's just doing what came naturally, right? Of course he was.

Gee, it would be just AWFUL to hold him accountable for his actions, wouldn't it? After all, she married him- THE WHORE!!! It's HER fault! Doesn't she KNOW he can't control his urges? Doesn't she KNOW that men aren't responsible for making the choice to keep it in their pants? What? He entered into a legally binding contract? Huh? Oh, he was tricked, that's right. He didn't understand that he was making a commitment. He never heard about those silly consequences, and since he's just doing what's natural, he can't possibly expect to be held accountable. After all, he's just a man.

Okay, sarcasm off.

sprogless try reversing it,

"So, the wife's banging anything in trousers (since she can't control himself, and "it's her nature"), and she brings home a nice little Herpes rash, and gives it to "the cock" That would be her husband, since he was stupid enough to marry her, knowing that her femaleness prevented her from thinking with anything but her vagina. And, since being a married man automatically makes him a walking wallet, without the ability to love, just fuck the poor, poor woman out of her money, he deserves nothing for the nasty Herpes she so generously bestowed upon him, without his knowledge? Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter. he's just a walking wallet, anyway. And, since all women are like that, it couldn't possibly be her fault. She's just doing what came naturally, right? Of course she was"

see it feels different doesnt it. but thats my point, the rules, are not fair for everyone..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Uh, I was being sarcastic. If anyone would read it, I was clear on that.

Since the point seems to be lost, I'll clarify:

Cheating is NOT harmless, as appears to be the point. Penicillin does not make all things go away. Herpes, HIV, and some strains of HPV, DO NOT GO AWAY!

A contract is a contract. If someone is unable to accept the terms of said contract, then DO NOT ENTER INTO THE CONTRACT!

There are consequences to people's actions. If one doesn't wish to face those consequences, then, DON'T BEHAVE IN A WAY THAT WILL BRING SAID CONSEQUENCES!

It ain't rocket science. It's common sense.

i know u were being sarcastic, and i was saying some people actually do beleive both views. are they right no of course not.

(i was just showing the opposite view is just as daft as the one you put.. but some think the anti male stuff is ok some think anti female is ok.) i try to seek a balance showing how dumb things are.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Sorry, Merc. I guess I'm just a little bit tired of being referred to as a whore, simply because I'm married.

Sprogless, I don't think the majority of married women are whores. I certainly haven't called you that, and my previous post was not meant to denigrate women as wives. I piled it on the men as well as the women as I relayed what appears on some men's forums.

We'd all be better off if people would stay faithful to spouses and significant others and if they would maintain healthy relationships. Too many relationships have become one-sided due to immaturity on the part of one partner.