My sad, regretful Childfree life. (a list)

I love the list, catharsist, plus the additions other bratfree members have made

I have a couple to add as well:

I can't stand it that I am able to get a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night and that I can sleep in on my days off if I want to!

I will never get to experience the joy of walking around for days on end with baybee snot, puke and piss on my clothes and cheerios in my hair. No, instead, I am very clean and shower every day. Oh, the horror!

Think there are kyds at home that hate and resent me, even though I feed them, give them a roof over their heads, etc? Think again. Only fur-babies who love me unconditionally and greet me the moment I walk in the door...sigh...

It is all so unfair! My car, motorcycle and furniture is paid off, I qualified for a home on my own at 25, I have started a great career and I have built up a significant savings account. I so wish I had thrown that all away to sluice instead!

oh, yeah, I forgot. I resent myself too because I actually plan to continuously do something with my life, instead of planning to work for only three or four years, get married, then be knocked up repeatedly and be a SAHMOO forever.

I can't fathom how many girls my age have life plans that stopped three to four years after finishing their education. why can't I be like them? oh god, why?

I resent the fact that I can cook any dish that interests me and not hear the whines of children stating that they don't want that, they want over-processed breaded and fluorescent-colored foods.

I hate that I can come home from a long day all sweaty and my feet aching, jump into the shower, air dry naked in front of the fan, and flop into bed without any disturbances.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

Why, oh, why can't I drive an expensive SUV? Why do I still drive a paid-for pickup truck?

What do you mean I can fill my living room bookcases with erotic art books?

I really wish I had someone around here who thought my wife's dildo was a popsicle or a club to brain the cat with.

Nobody is playing with my Alex Ross Justice League action figures but myself? Life sucks!

Why does my wife still look awesome in a bikini, or out of it? Why don't her breasts knock against her knees and why doesn't her stomach look like she was disemboweled by an allosaurus? Why is she still a sex kitten instead of a tiger who earned her stripes? Kill me now!

Sigh. Oh, the loneliness of sitting at home on a Friday night with my wife, eating homemade strouganoff, and listening to a PBS special of Paul McCartney singing standards, instead of fighting through the noise and crowd at Chuck E. Cheese. And it's going to get worse people, all because we don't have children! In a little bit, we'll retire to the porch for a glass of wine. I'll puff my pipe while we watch the moon rise. Then, we'll repair to the bedroom and give ourselves a good reason to sleep until noon. WHAT KIND OF MESSED UP LIFE IS THAT! What was I thinking???

I really hate that my beautiful kitten Sunny is laying on my chest and lovingly bopping me in the nose with her paw and purring loudly. I wish it were a screaming, spoiled shitsack that hit me in the face, pulled my hair, and ripped my earrings from my ears.

Dammit, if I had only made better choices in my 20's...

Oh woe,woe is me. Here I am, sitting beside the palm-fringed gorgeousness of my FL vacation home,planning the next week of road trips, studying extreme weather, retail therapy and meeting more lovely people in this fantastic country of yours.
Oh the emptiness.. SWEET JEEZUZ STOP THE PAIN.. I could be in a mouldy ole boarding house in Blackpool enjoying the freezing rain & feasting on lard based food products with my crotch fruits.
Why oh why oh why?

My thoughts exactly. I love it. Thank you for my giggle of the day :yr

Uh, what the hell was that? I could not make sense of what she said.

My life isn't perfect. But when I consider any problem that I may have, the solution is never have a child, have had a child 5 years ago, or have had a child 15 years ago. Many things I could never improve if I'd taken that choice.

Am I supposed to regret that?

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electricfire
Uh, what the hell was that? I could not make sense of what she said.

It was a Moo who is saying she regrets having spawned and has never known another Moo who didn't feel the same way. Then she says, "Good luck!" to us as if being childfree is random fate or the luck of the draw.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Ah, okay thanks for that. I'm still struggling with moo language.
Wonder why she thinks we give a shit.

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moksh_seeker
Wow , I read your list & felt like crap because whatever you wrote there is asadly true. I know that because I am experiencing it first hand as I have got two kids . I really don't understand how can people try to even compare the quality of lives ofther & childfree carrear woman? Ofcourse the latter has to be better financially ,mentally & physically . I am yet to meet a woman who decided to remain childfree,ever having regrets about their choice . Believe me ,although your list of regrets was actually meant to be sarcastic, funny thing is , that those are in reality my regrets. Facing the truth sometimes is too hard & reading those in black & white makes me more depressed.

Good luck

This post reminds me of an old song about a dog named Bingo. How did that last line go??? I think it's "BIngo was his name o."

Is she trying to get our sympathy or something?
Seriously, what the fuck was that about?

It's them yellow pills she's taking.

I don't know why people feel the need to do that. I wonder how she even got here. Oh yeah... REGRET was in the title. Google's a funny cunt like that.

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So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

We haven't had a dizzy cow wander out of the barn in a little while. Just had to grace us with her kind's sub-literate, disjointed thoughts eyes2

I think it's terrible that I have to get up in the morning and drink my coffee in complete silence while surfing the internet with my cat purring on my lap. I so wish that I could be woken up by the sounds of crying babies or children screaming for their sugary coated cereal puffs! eyes2

sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
indecision may or may not be my problem

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moksh_seeker
Wow , I read your list & felt like crap because whatever you wrote there is asadly true. I know that because I am experiencing it first hand as I have got two kids . I really don't understand how can people try to even compare the quality of lives ofther & childfree carrear woman? Ofcourse the latter has to be better financially ,mentally & physically . I am yet to meet a woman who decided to remain childfree,ever having regrets about their choice . Believe me ,although your list of regrets was actually meant to be sarcastic, funny thing is , that those are in reality my regrets. Facing the truth sometimes is too hard & reading those in black & white makes me more depressed.

Good luck

Sometimes I wonder if these individuals are secretly hoping to become the Pet Parent of Bratfree with posts like these.

Oh, how I weep at what an unfulfilling childless weekend I had. Friday, BF and I went ice skating and I visited the Noodler while he went to a hockey clinic. Then BF and I met up again later on to have drinks at our favorite dive bar and ended the night with brandy and sex. *sigh* Yesterday, we went out for breakfast at a nearby diner and thrift store shopping, where I bought some nice bric-a-brac to decorate my apartment. How I wish I was at Wal-Mart instead with a crew of children, full on McDonald's food with the delightful sounds of screaming all around me. I mean, I would much rather have an abode that is littered with kindercrap, with sticky handprints all over everything.

I hate my free time to cook decent food or go out to nice restaurants, and sleeping in until noon on weekends. Why did I earn a Bachelor's and Master's degrees and get a job with a decent salary? I should have been popping out children!

Later on today, I will be dragged kicking and screaming to practice with my punk band. Shouldn't I be spending Sundays at Chuck E. Cheese and toddler birthday parties? What is wrong with me?

Can you believe I spent a week in Ireland in August? I sat moping while tasting whiskey at the Jameson Tour in Dublin. Why was I doing that when I could have been in a kid-infested hellhole like Disneyworld?

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Ha, ha, sucks to be you, attention_seeker. Get bent!

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

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supreme fatness

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moksh_seeker
Wow , I read your list & felt like crap because whatever you wrote there is asadly true. I know that because I am experiencing it first hand as I have got two kids . I really don't understand how can people try to even compare the quality of lives ofther & childfree carrear woman? Ofcourse the latter has to be better financially ,mentally & physically . I am yet to meet a woman who decided to remain childfree,ever having regrets about their choice . Believe me ,although your list of regrets was actually meant to be sarcastic, funny thing is , that those are in reality my regrets. Facing the truth sometimes is too hard & reading those in black & white makes me more depressed.

Good luck

Sometimes I wonder if these individuals are secretly hoping to become the Pet Parent of Bratfree with posts like these.

Yes, I do wonder. It's a nice change from the trolls who bingo, but honestly, what are they hoping for? Are they creaming at the thought of us fawning over them: "Oh, you're a real parent, not a breeder!"

I do know some people I consider PNB, but what they have in common is that they are content with the choices they have made - they would have no reason to come to a CF board. Anyone who posts on a CF board but isn't CF is clearly a breeder.

My friends also respect my choices and they don't blab on and on about their kids, nor drag them along for everything we do. They don't think they're better than me for having had children, and they try to raise their children to be productive citizens. But being considered a PNB doesn't get you a medal or special attention, so if that's your motivation you're shit out of luck.

Hmm. At least this interloper wasn't spewing vitriol. Hard to tell exactly what she was saying, due to horrific grammar and spelling, but I THINK she meant that she hasn't met a childfree woman who regretted the choice.

Well yeah. Anyone who consciously and freely chooses to skip parenthood is usually a-ok with it, and is already thinking long-term when they make the choice. It's the folks who choose to reproduce who tend to regret it.

And now, on to today's CF regret:
Today Mr. Random and I are having our regular gaming group over. The laughter, banter, and conversation just won't make up for the lack of children. The potluck items they bring will be utterly devoid of chicken nuggets or apple juice boxes, and I don't know how I'll survive an afternoon filled with friendship, fun, and my favorite snack foods. Why can't the game be interrupted every fifteen minutes? I know my friends and I are just dying to referee a fight, change a diaper, or tie a shoe.

Then later we'll run errands...but it won't be the same without kids in tow! We'll get things done much too quickly! When we come back we'll probably even have the time and energy for really good sex! Quel horreur!

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yurble

But being considered a PNB doesn't get you a medal or special attention, so if that's your motivation you're shit out of luck.

I think that's part of the requirements to be a PNB; they aren't looking for any validation or recognition. They are happy being who they are and with their choices and validate themselves.

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Snark Shark

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navi8orgirl
I hear ya, though my sports car is coated with pug hair .

they really DO shed like crazy!

Oh, puggies shed like mad. One of mine is very plush and he leaves a butt-ton of hair everywhere. When I vacuum the house, I can probably knit two new pugs.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."