I just need to vent

My mom, who wasn't and still isn't the best mom, due to her mental issues, depression, agoraphobia, and far right wing religious views babysits for people in the church.
Well first of all she is breaking the law, she has more kids than the law will allow without getting a daycare license. Second she calls me and my grandma weenies and weaklings because we can't stand to go to her house when she has all of those screaming kids there. Well what pisses me off if she calls us all these names because we won't visit, but everytime I talk to her she is screaming at a kid, threatening to bash it's head in, throw it up against the wall, or screaming at it to shut up and go away. When I pointed out how she is acting, she said I wasn't as special as you, I did not get the pleasure of a college education and a rich husband. First of all I worked 2 jobs all through college and even after college. My husband is not rich, we work hard for our money. Well anyway I asked if the parents knew how she yelled at and treated these kids, she got all mad and said that I don't know how hard it is to raise kids and how much she had to do without. I replied that I did not tell her to have 4 kids when she could not afford them. She is all pissy because I still refuse to go to her house when those kids are there and I am not givng in.
She also says this is a career, when my grandma had a stroke a few weeks ago, my mom never went to the hospital to see about her, because she couldn't get away from her kids. How horrible is it, that when your own mother is in the hospital, you ignore her to watch other peoples kids for a few dollars a week.
Sorry I had to vent, I am so tired of her taking our her frustrations on everybody around her, her whole life she has blamed us kids for her depression and other issues and it makes me mad.

Wow. Just wow.

We can pick our friends. We cannot pick our family. Damn.

I've learned over the years that family doesn't always get along. Nobody says you have to endure the bullshit JUST because they are your family.

I would suggest that you alert the parents of these children about your mother's verbal abuse and threats before someone gets hurt.

I am not one of those folk who believe in the mantra 'famblee at all costs'.
I do think some contact is ok, but limited if a parent is evil or destructive.
The problem is, she is being destructive to the warehoused kiddies (why can't their own moo or duh stay home with them?) This might be difficult to prove.
One solution would be to report her to appropriate state agencies and let them sort it out. I would have no doubt this would end any relationship whatsoever, in which case you thank Whatever and be glad no more bitching and whining from her. Otherwise, only call once a week and when the 'horrors' start, simply state 'you will call back some other time when things calm down', and HANG UP before she gets a chance to vent spleen. If she starts in before you can, STILL HANG UP. If you have caller ID, use it. If you have call blocking USE IT.
You may simply be hoping for some relation where you could have a normal mother. Acceptance is the knowledge that she won't change, and the power is in your corner to do it. As such, drop her like a hot potato and quit trying to get her to be a real mother.
You WILL have greater peace of mind, and I think your husband would be happier as well. You suffer, he suffers, all suffer.
LIMIT YOUR CONTACT IF YOU CAN'T CUT HER OFF ENTIRELY.
Pardon me if I sound harsh. The reality that a parent (or parents) is/are bums is shattering. However, if the price of having a quiet, peaceful, fulfilling life is cutting off family, ANY family member, SO BE IT.
Peace is more valuable than famblee shit.

It’s a story like that one that makes me appreciate my own mom. She NEVER pressured me to get busy breeding, and when some obnoxious pushy crone would come at her armed with an arsenal of pictures of grandchildren and some shitty competitive attitude about it, she would cut her off and let her know in no uncertain terms that she’s not interested in hearing about it. She had a really hard life, but NEVER blamed me or my brother for anything. And while I’ve given up a lot to look after her in her old age, I can at least afford the time to do it because I’m not burdened with breeder crap, and she actually appreciates me for it. It’s a good thing for a pessimistic type like me to remember at times, that it’s not all bad.

Re: I just need to vent new
Posted by: JoJo (IP Logged)
Date: March 14, 2008 10:06AM


I would suggest that you alert the parents of these children about your mother's verbal abuse and threats before someone gets hurt.


The parents are the same way, they don't give a damn about those kids, they had them to please their parents or just because they were supposed to.
Everyone in town knows my mom is mental, nobody cares. Hell half the people in town are just as bad.