Marriage, Motherhood, Career - Can She Have It All?'

Yes, women had it all - but can they STILL have a career, husband and children?
By BECKY SHEAVES - More by this author »

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=556368&in_page_id=1879

Twenty years ago, when journalist Valerie Grove set out to discover whether women really could have it all, she turned to some of the nation's most successful females in a bid to find answers.

Among them were Fay Weldon, Sheila Kitzinger and Shirley Hughes - all held up as models of successful womanhood in Grove's (now long out of print) book The Compleat Woman: Marriage, Motherhood, Career - Can She Have It All?'

To qualify for the description "compleat" (the title is a tongue-in-cheek reference to Izaak Walton's The Compleat Angler), they had to have been married for more than 25 years and have had three or more children, as well as a brilliant career.

Novelist Fay, childbirth campaigner Sheila and award-winning children's author Shirley were more than qualified for their space on the page among dozens of other well-known, happily-married working mothers.

But back in 1987, these three women were rare specimens. Divorce rates were booming, the birth rate was plummeting and women were still establishing themselves in the workplace.

Grove's point was that the "compleat woman" was a rarity. Plenty of women were sacrificing motherhood and marriage for careers, but not so many were managing to achieve all three.


Fay Weldon: The novelist was described as 'having it all' in the 1987 book
The bad news is that two decades on, and armed with wisdom, experience and hindsight, all three women believe it is harder than ever for women to "have it all".

Sheila Kitzinger, now 80, who lives in Oxfordshire with her husband Uwe, an academic and former diplomat, and has five grown-up daughters, says: "There's a lot of pressure on women today. Life seems much more complicated.

"Women seem very tired - partly because they are under so much pressure.

"They've got to have the latest handbag and shoes, cook amazingly just like Nigella Lawson, cavort bewitchingly round the bedroom every night in a negligee with their husbands, and have a job and be wonderful mothers.

"Women are always blamed for everything that goes wrong with their kids - it's always our fault - and we blame ourselves, too."

Children's author Shirley Hughes, 80, who has three children and seven grandchildren, agrees.

"I think it is very difficult for women with careers and children today to manage without getting exhausted," she says.

"My daughter-in-law has to get up early, sort out the children, drop them at school, go to do a long day's work in the office, then go home - at which point the nanny promptly disappears - and do another shift of hard work at home.

"That is a tough life, and one which many more women live today. I am very glad I didn't have to."

To a great extent, the problem is that women's expectations are higher than ever before.

more on site, too big to post

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=556368&in_page_id=1879

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Ah yes, Fay Weldon was one of the writers for "Upstairs, Downstairs", which I recently bought on DVD and has become one of my favorite shows of all-time.

Oh sure, they can have it all. Too bad the rest of us are the ones paying for it. The childfree taxpayers and the walking wallets.

>>>>To a great extent, the problem is that women's expectations are higher than ever before.



Yes, this is it and I wish these moos would stop. Pick one, moohood maybe seasoned w/ a part time job if necessary and live w/in your means so you don't *need* the latest handbag, or, career woman. Because every moo can't decide, it has turned society on its ear. And modern moos and the media are constantly telling us how exhausted they are.....so.... just ....stop. Make a choice ...one kyd, no kyds! or just SAH, and yes, many could afford it if they didn't want to live like yuppies.

But no, I see more and more "working moos" having 3-5 kyds. I mean, that many SAHMs in the 60-70s weren't necessarily having that many across the board. If you’re "working" and already filled to the brim with time-consuming responsibilities of moohood, why have 3 or more? To drive yourself to an early grave? If your that exhausted, are you really reaping the benefits or "joys of moohood"? Are you that desperate for love of 3 kyds, vs. 2? How is this benefitting your marriage?

And, I'm sick of my newly moo friends telling me they are going to start waking up at 4:30AM to do what they need to do w/ the brats before coming to work. I mean really...when did life get THIS insane and we take that for the new normal? Most people wouldn't wake up that early for much else, like exercise, meditation, a friend, or even for a paid job, why are they doing it for brats? I don't believe they bring THAT much happiness. Besides, moos have been reproducing for ages, why all of a sudden the 4AM wake-up.

CF or not...I think modern parunthood has gone off the deep end.

"Having it all" is such a fucking lie! Anytime some womban thinks that she can be a good, effective parent, a contributing employee and a good spouse is deluding herself with moo propaganda that even those cunts do not believe anymore.

I have known many, many womben in my life who have tried, and failed on at least one of the three fronts of brats, work and spouse. They end up being lousy BNPs, totally useless at a job or bitter, jealous wives.

If it were legal, I would love to have a baseball bat, a body bag and five minutes in a locked room with just one of the creators of the "have it all" fe-moo-nist hype. Those cunts set women back 2,000 years.

theres a lot more on that article. far more than i could put on here

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Sure, women can "have it all", as long as they do a crappy job at "it all". It's kind of what happens when you don't have the resources to cover everything you want to do.
I don't understand how doing every single thing that comes into your mind suddenly becomes "adult" behavior when you add children. I don't have children, and even I MUST make choices as to what I want to put my energies toward if I want to do a good job at any of it.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Of course they can have it all! All one has to do is hire a nanny, housekeeper, gardener, and get a SAHM to drive precious to all of their extra curricular activities.

This is Moo's way of having it all. Get everyone else to do it for her!

Compounding the problem is the celebrity moo worship that furthers the "having it all" BS.

HORK!!!!!!!!!!!!


Nour Wrote:
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> Compounding the problem is the celebrity moo
> worship that furthers the "having it all" BS.

Also, it is easy to have it all when you delete all other activities outside of the brats.

Have any friends, CF or not?? Well, don't ever bother seeing them or returning their calls, you're too important and way too busy for them.

Spend every waking moment w/ family obligations, bratcare, brat-schedules, so-called FT career, and maybe sort of clean your house, the rest of your life be damned and then moo and low how miserable your life is and then ask for help from your employer or the gov't becasue your life is so hard and exhausting. Because for sure you had no choice but to "have it all".

Still makes me glad not to be Mooooo.