Adult children who refuse move out

Reasons for remaining at home with parents can vary, which is why I usually withhold judgment about people who are living at home, until I hear that they're acting like the assholes in the stories in the first post of this thread. I'll add that my husband is from a country where multi-generational households are the norm due to the high cost of living not being matched by the normal salary that can be obtained by people in their 20's or early 30's.

My husband found living at home annoying, but he was able to go to college, work, and save up. It wasn't an extended adolescence for him, and isn't for a lot of Russian young adults. It's just piss-poor wages for young people that don't match up with being able to pay rent on a shitty, efficiency apartment in a bad neighborhood where your commute to work would take forever, not to mention that after rent there would be fuck-all left to pay utilities or buy food. And forget about putting anything away in savings! The norm there is for employers to just pay a flat monthly salary, regardless of amount of hours worked, so in most jobs it's not like you can pick up extra hours to make more money. It's not a win-win.

I have it on good authority that young Russians want to leave the nest, but it's damn near impossible for a lot of people, even young professionals. It's beginning to be like that even here. I just happened to leave my parents' house when rents weren't astronomical like they are now, so splitting with a roommate made sharing a nice, big, 2-bedroom apartment very affordable to two college students who could still swing working about 25-30 hours a week.

I was able to move out at 20, but my house-sharing situations were never nice until March of this year when my husband and I moved in together. For me, living with roommates, as well as my douchelord of an ex-boyfriend, was awful. There were times it could be fun, but for the most part it was stressful and a pain in the ass. On one hand, I'm grateful that I learned a lot from it and have my independence, but on the other hand, I don't blame others for avoiding it. I wouldn't say that it necessarily made my life "better" to get out on my own when I did. My parents would have expected me to be independent and productive if I had chosen to stay home into my 20's. I would have paid for some household expenses and groceries and cleaned the house, because I didn't feel like living at home meant continuing to be a child. I would've been able to save more money and wouldn't have faced the financial problems I had from 2005 until last year (my ex was a huge, financial drain and I, like a fool, felt obligated to pick up the slack instead of kicking him out or holding him accountable - ya live and ya learn!). All in all, I'm still glad I moved out, since I don't think it's productive to live your life in regret, so I try to regret nothing. It helped shape me, I suppose, to have the experiences I had.

The douche-farts in these stories aren't the same as people who choose to continue living at home for valid reasons.

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Kelli
I still live at home in my early 20s for financial reasons. Honestly, I'd love to live on my own, but finding affordable housing as a single person whos not eligible to suck the system, its nearly impossible (even in small town).
But I do chores and have never been disrespectful to my mother cause I know she could kick my ass out now that I'm over 18.

My living suitiation is exactly the same as yours.

Anyone who has shared dorm rooms at university can tell you stories of problem roommates. Anyone who has shared apartments (flats) can tell you stories of roommates who did drugs, partied loud at all hours, had too many FOTMs and shady friends over, and ultimately weasled out of paying their fair share of the rent.

Rents have been high enough in my part of the country for decades—despite crappy wages even during the supposed "boom times" in the 1980s—that a single person by him/herself starting out simply is highly unlikely to be able to afford rent without roommates. Even in the '80s, apartment rents weren't far short of a typical mortgage payment where I am. Hence staying at home with the parents, who at least are a known quantity, unlike most roommates.

The thing is that I chipped in for the bills, bought groceries for the household, and paid my own bills. Today's kyds don't seem to be able to do that—and they still believe their parents should pay their way for everything. Tell us again how these kyds are our future, are going to cure all of the world's ills, and are going to wipe my ass in the nursing home...?

I didn't move out until I was 21. I tried before that but always had to move back in with moo and duh. If I had been able to get my driver's license and/or go to college I would have been able to be independent a lot sooner. My own situation makes me wonder if moos are somehow sabotaging their boy spawn.

On problem room-mates: I remember a post from a CFer who allowed some woman to move with her/him.

Then the woman's boyfriend was showing up (a lot).

Then room-mate and boytoy pulled a "we're pregnant and YOU have to move out." Fortunetly CFer was the one whose name was on the paper, so larious and :yeah to breeder scammers.

But dayumn, the entitlement of those two.

Roommates can be hit and miss - even if you live with people you know and care about, everyone being under the same roof can be trying because you get to deal with your friends' habits. One of my college friends has been moved out of his mom's house for several months now and has a total dickbag of a jock for a roommate. My friend works three jobs and I think volunteers/interns at random places because the roommate won't fucking pay his half of the rent. He constantly asks me to come live with him and be his roomie, but that would mean moving several states away from everyone else I know and NOT taking my cats with me because my friend is incredibly allergic. It's not a sacrifice I can make. Not to mention everyone around here, on top of charging four figures for their goddamn rooms, also will not allow pets. I know landlords/ladies can decide to allow or forbid pets, but I wonder if they realize how many potential renters they are alienating because they don't want to get a whisker or a pee stain on their precious fucking floor (but someone's ill-behaved tardler smearing shit on the walls is acceptable).

But ye gods, if you want to live alone and don't make six fucking figures a year, you are 100 percent fucked. I always hear about minimum wage going up (or people wanting it to), but then rent goes up twice as much. Where I live, most work is minimum wage unless you want to drill for oil and the work sucks (two weeks of 12-hour shifts, then two weeks off). Even if you work 2 or 3 minimum wage jobs, there's no way to even afford rent all by itself here, let alone taxes, utilities, transportation, food, and whatever other debts you have.

The costs of living in my little hick town are higher than costs I've seen in big cities! I think it'll be that way for a good long time too because in the last year, something like six hotels have been built in my area for the drilling crews. I don't know how people live, but I can definitely see why long-term welfare seems like a better option than working yourself to death and still not being able to afford food and car insurance.

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gwdzee
On problem room-mates: I remember a post from a CFer who allowed some woman to move with her/him.

Then the woman's boyfriend was showing up (a lot).

Then room-mate and boytoy pulled a "we're pregnant and YOU have to move out." Fortunetly CFer was the one whose name was on the paper, so larious and :yeah to breeder scammers.

But dayumn, the entitlement of those two.

I've seen that story elsewhere too. As in, I think it was a different set of people. But in the story I read, the breederscammers managed to boot the CF person out despite the fact that the CFer had their name on the paper. Something about squatter's rights and I think the judge was sympathetic to the breeders.

I wish I could move out but I'm not physically capable off taking care of myself let alone a job. The sex thing, my parents don't care, respect my privacy, and I sleep downstairs on the opposite side of the house etc. My parents are great, their trying to pay off their 2 houses to give to us eventually. They help me with every task that I can't do due to my joint issues, including opening bottles.
My ex's brother....is one of the useless trash that lives of his parents. He was extremely manipulative, he convinced his mom I was trying to ruin my ex's life by getting inpig even though I was using condoms/birth control, called my ex's cell every 5-10mins because we were too quiet/loud/laughing etc so he thought we were fucking, he messaged me on an online game I used to play telling me to masturbate using a shower head, he blocked my number so I couldn't call my ex, unplugged the phone if my ex called me, he messed with the internet same reason, he told me to kill myself, stole presents my ex gave me etc and I never saw his face once, I lived at my ex's for 2 months too yet. There was a ton more BS but I don't feel like writing an essay. Anyways my ex's brother was 25 living at home not going to school or working, hadn't done either since around high school. Now he's finally taking online courses, on his parents' dime, and he chose to do so when his mom might lose her job since she can't go back to full-time due to disability, neither of their parents made much to start with and struggled to pay bills. Btw my ex's brother had a tiny bit of health issues which were fixed with surgery when he was 19, mentally he's just one manipulative lazy sociopathic piece of shit. (He only actually has faked social anxiety, he sucked up to my parents trying to act like he was perfect, not shy at all around them, acting like their best friend after knowing them 2-3mins) I know social anxiety, I have it, he definitely does not...