get your bush waxed...why not....you're a 8 year old!

And then there's the one about how some brain-dead super-rich moms in some upscale hoods in Philly are dragging their brutally primped 8-, 9-, 10-year-old daughters to the salon and getting their eyebrows plucked and their stray hairs yanked their cuticles scraped and their skin peeled and making sure everything is frighteningly picture-perfect because the girls simply must be made flawless and creepy and preternaturally vacuous — you know, just like mom.

But then comes the kicker, the horrifying thing that makes you cringe and recoil and want to move to Europe or maybe the moon, and it's the reason you are reading this ridiculous trend piece in the first place, against your better judgment but you do it anyway because, well, you're just that kind of masochist.

Because then you read about how this mom, this unspeakably sad and narcissistic creature of ignorance and silliness and savage karmic pain, actually demands that the waxer give her daughter — her prepubescent, pre-hormonal, nearly hairless 8-year-old daughter — a full bikini wax.

You read that right. And you don't even have to scream at the sky right now and throw up your hands and say, but, but, but ... girls that age don't even have pubic hair, do they?

Nope. Doesn't matter. The mom is insane. The little girl is so de-tuned from authentic girlhood already she just goes along for the ride. And the waxer is like, well, you're out of your mind, but fine, let's do this thing.

Yes, it's happening. And I suppose it's horrible. And you know it's happening and you know it's horrible because there's this absurdly long trend piece about it in some magazine that I unfortunately stumbled across recently, and it described the Brazilian wax phenomenon in ridiculous detail, with interviews and analysis and concerned comments from child-psychiatry specialists and aren't you alarmed and horrified? Well, no.

I must admit, it did a terrific job of doing exactly what ludicrous micro-trend pieces are supposed to do: zero in on a fringe phenomenon and make it seem like it's catching on like wildfire across the nation, and therefore you might want to make some brain space for this because who, pray who, will save the exceptionally well-groomed children? What's next, Botox for babies? Hot pink Juicy Couture thong underwear for 6-year-olds?
Oh wait.

Of course, pre-pubescent bikini waxes are not really catching on. It's not really that common or even disturbing of a trend, given how for every spoiled rich doll-like child whose parents should never have been allowed to breed, there are 10,000 more who are just fine, whose parents take totally competent care of them and feed and clothe and house them just as respectfully and responsibly and awkwardly as ever. But who the hell wants to read about that?

And maybe you also back up a step and say OK, wait a second. You wanna talk child abuse? Because really, how is a bikini wax for an 8-year-old any more horrific or abusive than parents who, say, let their kids gorge on junk food? Than ignorant dads who haul the brood to McDonalds and KFC every day and pump them full of Coke and Snapple at age 6? Is waxing somehow worse or more damaging, psychologically speaking, than parents who smack their kids and scream at them in the middle of Wal-Mart, or those who drag their 5-year-olds into a screening of "Saw IV" or force them to listen to George W. Bush speak? Really, how do we weigh psychological torment?

The truth here is as obvious as it is deeply entertaining: Bad parenting abounds, baby, and what's more, I say our culture needs psycho parents and their preening, hyperplucked kids simply because the culture needs future Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans and spoiled UCLA sorority girls with names like Dakota and Bree because, well, who else will we mock? Who else can future generations of normal kids look to and say, oh my God, at least I'm not like that? Who will grow up to date all the obnoxious frat guys and have bad drunken sex with them for 3.2 minutes and later marry and soon contribute to America's good Christian divorce rate? Exactly.

Similar, it all is, to a recent New York Times trend piece I just read on overpampered tweener girls getting expensive salon treatments at the new array of upscale spas designed especially for them. Have you heard? About relatively well-adjusted 9-year-olds whose parents "treat" their kids to flat-ironings and caramel tintings and expensive Miley Cyrus-grade primpings because they're all caught up in the pop culture horror show and think this is what life is all about? Wacky!

Of course, it doesn't stop there. The tweener trend merely connects further up the line to tales of desperately lousy parents who willingly pay 10 grand for their kids' plastic surgery when they turn 16, new boobs for Taylor and new calf implants for Todd and a new nose for Jenny because hey, all her friends are doing it and what's the big deal and so why not anesthetize her and slice into that young flesh and reshape her face to look more like Jamie Lynn Spears? Neat!

And then the story ends when these girls — and by the way it's almost always the girls; rare indeed is the trend piece focusing on how boys get, say, all sorts of horrific messages about machismo and violence and the need for accomplishment, and isn't that a little weird and telling? Oh well — the girls finally turn 18 and head off to college and get a bad sacrum tattoo and appear on "Girls Gone Wild" and then, well, they disappear into the cultural maelstrom, only to reappear 10 years later as that exact same shallow, awful mom who drags her miserable 8-year-old to the salon for her first Brazilian. And lo, the circle of life continues.

Next up: a big trend piece about how all alarmist trend pieces that have anything to do with teenagers, pubic hair, the early sexualization of kids, thong underwear and the tragic death of innocence in modern America all point to a larger trend of how we as a culture are just way, way too obsessed with trend pieces that obsess about the style and sexuality of trendy teens. Watch for it.

This article was sent to you by someone who found it on SFGate.
The original article can be found on SFGate.com here:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/g/a/2008/04/11/notes041108.DTL

Sick. Totally sick. This type of shit does nothing to teach young people anything. All it teaches them is to be superficial.

Same thing with adults. There are chicks here at my office, and I see them at the market, mall, etc., who obviously think that the more things you do/get done to yourself, the better it makes you look.

To this day, I do my own nails, get exercise and don't belong to a gym, have had no plastic surgery, and have never colored my hair. And I've survived! Imagine that!

I think it is because most moos are so disappointed in themselves and SO afraid of aging (like older women are HIDEOUS hags or something, right? ) that they are turning their little girls into a generation of idealized Lolita princesses while still young so they can live through that "Barbie" fantasy.

And now all the other kids can't play outside anymore because of the pedophiles on the rise.=P

I think that would be classed as assault on the child. It is being done without that childs full knowledge of why and what it is done for.

I would be tempted to report that mother and the salon that did it to the authorities.

just watch---you know how they now have haircut franchises just for kyds, they do here in the trendy 'hoods of Chicago? The seats are like toy airplanes, etc.--they will soon get salons for those under 10.

Get your crotch waxed and get a lollipop! free toy after 10 visits!

Maybe if moos are afraid of pediphiles, they should make their kyds uglier and not worry about their cootchies being waxed.

And my tax dollars are subsidizing this bullshit?

Now is the time to start rioting in the streets folks, because the ONLY THING anyone listens to these days is PROPERTY DAMAGE, and more specifically damage to their property, or property they frequent.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?

I have no words. Seriously. I knew it was bad out there, but not THIS bad.

Christ on a waffle, I didn't get given a razor until I was 14 and I had legs that would make a French whore envious - what 8-year-old has enough hair for a wax? I don't even think 8-year-old boys get that hairy, let alone girls of that age.

Ten bucks says this will be one of those mothers who either encourages her daughter to dress like a slut or who will enter the kid in beauty pageants constantly. And whoever carried out the waxing needs a slap too.

Slightly off-topic: I'm having a debate with someone else on another forum about exactly how common "going totally bare" is for women these days. When I was growing up in the 80s, I never heard any complaints about pubic hair, then all of a sudden people were waxing, then apparently some started taking it all off. How common is this?

There is a salon in Westwood that advertises toadler glamour makeovers.

Why in the blessed fuck would you waste money getting a makeover for something that still shits its own pants?

OMFG.

the paedophiles would simply love this scenario.

>>>>>>what 8-year-old has enough hair for a wax? I don't even think 8-year-old boys get that hairy, let alone girls of that age.


I know this is TMI but I had full bush by then and even years before. I didn't like getting undressed in front of other girls my age at the pool because of this (I somehow survived, nowadays, breeders would ask for special accommodations so Bratlina wouldn't be traumatized.)

Slightly off-topic: I'm having a debate with someone else on another board about how common the completely bare bikini wax is. Maybe I'm just old, but I find the whole idea pretty laughable. He insists it's pretty common.

i think the bare bikini is sick its turning an adult into what looks to all intents and purposes a pubescant. and now they giving a pre pubescant a procedures that would do nothing..

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

That's basically what I told this guy. He says "well, you can tell by other bodily features that she's not prepubescent, so that makes it okay."

My husband's certainly never brought up such a thing. Then again, I'm an old lady so maybe that's what the "kids" are doing these days.

bare waxing is creepy, but I know of many, many younger women who do it. Why anyone would want their privates covered in warm wax with the sole purpose to then RIP OUT all the hair is beyond me, and seems like way too much pain and hassle for any benefit.

Not like the waxing profession has ethical standards, but I'm guessing that many waxers wouldn't work on anyone under the age of genital hair growth because they are humans who would be disturbed by the concept of applying wax to the genitals of a child.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Listening to the shock radio is seems to be more popular than one would think, especially in LA and NY. If you look at a girly mag today, most will be fully shaved.

Just another thing for the media to push on females, "your bodies they way they are are bad, get fake boobs so normal boobs look odd, get rid of all your hair because natural is bad"

I personally don't know how anyone keeps that up on a regular basis and how it doesn't always look in some stage of disarray growing back and being itchy, bumpy, etc.

I'm "old" too, and altho I don't talk about it much w/ people, I don't think I know anyone who does it. If I was young, I would probably give up, because one would have to be obsessed with the razor or waxer to keep this up.

For some reason my response won't post---try again--

I basically was saying it is more popular than one would think, in LA and NY and the girly mags today show every one fully shaved.

I personally don't know anyone who does it, or it just hasn't come up in convo.

I think it would be an incredible PITA as you would always be in some stage of disarray, growing stubble or bumps back. You would have to be obsessed to keep it smooth.

men know stubble (at least on the chin, how much of a pain that is. i cant imagine the pain elsewhere.. do they use aftershave this is something only men know..)

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Seriously, y'all need to look up the definition of 'merkin'.
Good for a 'what the heck.....'.
(You will need an unabridged with obsolete terms.)
I wanted to name my cat that, but was not quite bold enuf.
I think the next kitty will get the moniker just so I can watch some vets face.

My body "matured" a bit later than some girls my age. I do remember seeing the first signs of a lawn, I immediately started shaving and still do to this day. LOL