I was duped! Duped I tell you!

So sad, really. Had a couple friends who are following LifeScript (tm) to the letter, but figured they'd be good parents who would set boundaries and wanted to do that hard work of raising a child to be a productive human being. Boy did they talk a good line the first year...
our child will never watch tv, least of all those horrible childrens videos
our child will never have sugary snacks, especially processed ones
our child will be expected to behave
one is enough for us
we're fashionable and healthy, our child will be the same way.
LIARS!!
Soooo...we're all together at a friends house for an afternoon grill out with a number of people I didn't know well. First the mother is going on and on about how her child will only wear crocs, the shoes that say "I've given up, slap some zubas and an poncho on me and put me on the curb". The child is THREE. The child should be wearing what it's mother tells it....but she can't possibly do that for some reason. During this insipid conversation the child wanted chocolate ice cream. All the host had was vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce, which equals chocolate ice cream in my book. However, the child pitched a fit and she leaves the party and DRIVES TO THE FUCKING GROCERY STORE AND BUYS ICE CREAM. I dunno about you alls, but were I to have ever turned down ICE CREAM because it was the wrong flavor, I would have not had ANY ice cream...AND would have been perp-marched out to the car while my mother told everyone there what an ungrateful child I was.
STINKING LYING SACKS!!!
I kept my mouth shut, because of course since I've never interacted with children, or been a child, or known parents of children, I wouldn't possibly know what the fuck I was talking about. Things are much harder now....and about to get much much harder because >cue the angelic chorus< they're expecting their second...isn't that SOOO EXCITING??!! It's a girl! Now they have both!! Oh hail the wonders of procreation. Seriously, I was surprised I wasn't asked to worship her holy multi-gender producing uterus.
IS THERE ANY WAY THEY COULD NOT LIE???!!!
In fact I keep my mouth shut a lot when I'm around them. Their three year old freak of a son is now a mouth breathing, couch slouching, sugar obsessed, video gamer (oooh,,so amazing) who can scream right along with Blues the Builder Toodlaoo (scream, or grunt...no words though but everyone still says how smart and amazing he is)... and it's all their fault.
LYING LIE BAGS!
Gah...I can't even talk about the other childed couple that I didn't know, or the empty nesters...it's too traumatic still. I wash and wash and still can't get them out of my brain.

The more I think about it, maybe the problem isn't them...but me. I obviously didn't have enough to drink for such a situation. Stupid Feh.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

LOL Feh your write very well!! Why do breeders have blinders on with their keeeeeds? Why do they all think their keeeds are so smart and amazing? But they see most keeeeds become boring, below aveage adults.

I have 5 dogs? 1 of my dogs is an idiot (i love that dumb bastard, but the fact is hes dumb) I really do love that dog, but im not blinded into some fake ass reality and think hes sooooooooooooo smart and amazing (ok i think hes funny) but i reallize others wont think hes funny or smart or others may not even like him, so I dont try to convince myself or every single person around me, how smart and amazing he is, im sure other people wouldnt see anything so special about my dumb dog (i got him at the SPCA) or think hes the 2nd coming of jebus. why can I see reality and breeders CANT

I like Crocs. I do not have to be fashionable to prove anything.

Most people do say these things about their kids being good children and not brats only for the obvious to happen.

Unfortunately, Feh, this happens a lot. How many times have most of us heard from family and friend how they will not change. Even the best parents are going to change as people. It is to be expected. Anything that involves a huge change in life will also do the same to the person. Winning the Lotto changes people even if they claim it will not happen.

My cousin's change started with her first child. She was never able to talk on the phone long in case the baby cried. It got worse after she had a second child. The phone conversations had to be ended when the younger toddler would cry for something and Cousin would tell the older one to give it to her sister because she is "little". That happens a lot: moos using age to make another sibling give in.

I got a winter holiday photo card from my cousin. It is of the two girls. The youngest is 7. I am certain she probably said she would never favour either child as she knew what that was like growing up with two sisters where the oldest has been the prima dona. It appears the youngest is like my cousin's older sister. She has the looks while Cousin's older girl is considered 'plain'. I bet the younger one still gets what she wants for being "younger" and prettier. Kid reeks of attitude in that photo with her little pose while the older sis is sort of just in the background with a fake smile.

I may send my cousin an e-mail but that is it. I made it clear to my mother how we were NOT driving about four hours to see my cousin and her family when she was out visiting in April. What is the point? I do not want to go there just to pacify a woman who really does not do anything and then deal with the children. My mother was welcome to take my car and go alone if it meant that much to her but it did not come to pass.

You are a farking scream.

To Amethusos: that is why older sisters hate the younger ones frequently
To nokyds: Yes, our dogs run the gamut. We boarded an Irish setter once many years ago, and the dog was running around our fenced in back yard, and ran full tilt into a railroad tie retaining wall. Don't know why, apprently he could see well enough, but it was scary. Poor animal was really hurtin' fer certain.
I listen to Dr. Laura and I am annoyed frequently because these little shits only act up when mom starts talking. You can tell because there is silence for the first 3 - 5 seconds then the loaf/toadler starts in. Yes, it is totally normal. However, I can't stand it.

I'm rarely an optimist, and know my friends would change after having their kid...I just figured they'd become BETTER, you know? Ach, whatever, now I know and I can start finding different things to do when they invite me over for MouthBreatherson's birthday, and their second baby shower, and on...and on...and on...Yeaaaa, I got to stand over here now, sorry I can't make it.

The other breeders and empty nesters at the party were rich with bingos and self-delusion. I had the displeasure of being trapped with them as they literally had me corraled on the front porch bingoing me when they found out I'd just gotten married, and that I know how to do old fashioned stuff like sewing, growing and preserving food, hanging clothes on a laundry line and reusing stuff. "Wow" the Duh says, "Your husband made quite a catch. When are you going to have children?"
F. "Never"
D. "Really?"
F. "Really."
D. "You know, I've heard they've made great advances in IVF"
F. "And your point is?"
D. "If you're having a hard time..."
F. "I don't believe in doing things I have no desire to do"
D. "Really? But you're so talented, you could..."
F. "I'm not talented, I have learned skills anyone can master"
D. "So you should have a child to teach them to"
Then the Empty Nester Duh jumps in...
END "Yes, children are the future, they need good teachers"
F. "Riiiiight. Good teachers have a desire to teach. Bad teachers don't. I don't, therefore I'd be a bad teacher"
D "But you're so smart"
F. "Yes, that's why I'm not having children I don't want"
END "What if everyone thought that way?" (Did they read a bingo list, or what?)
F. "Then only people who actually wanted to do the work of raising a person to be a productive human would do it and there would be hardly any abused or neglected children in the world"
D & END - gaping stares
F. "Excuse me, I need to start drinking now."

PWND! They didn't talk to me for the rest of the party, and for that I was glad.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

I know most of you say there are PNB's, I just dont see them, i think most people who crap out kids are breeders if not ALL. I also think anyone who craps out kids in todays day and age is an idiot.

nokyds4me Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I know most of you say there are PNB's, I just
> dont see them, i think most people who crap out
> kids are breeders if not ALL. I also think anyone
> who craps out kids in todays day and age is an
> idiot.

I've come around to agree with you now. After that party, I really thought about it, and the only PNB's I know had their kids at least 8-9 years ago. No one I know who has had a child in the past 3 years is anything close to a parent. Great.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

God, my brain hurts just thinking about what you've endured.

I think I just threw up.

Yeah, I've noticed that, Feh. All the PNBs are parents of kids approximately 8 and over (though there are damn full even in the groups with older kids).

I am more thankful every day that I never had children, because I would probably be a grandparent by now--not a pleasant prospect, given current child-raising styles. I never wanted 'em and more and more I see the wisdom of that decision.