So Much For Him Being One of Us: Simon Cowell Expecting His First Child

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johnnybsterile
Kim, You NEVER heard of the GREAT Simon Cowell!?

You're one of the few very lucky people who've never heard of (or at least dosen't watch) "American Idol" then.

jbs

Gah, American Idol was everywhere. The whole 'X nation Idol' franchise was very nauseating.

No one heard of her because her husband was of moderate wealth.

Andrew married Lauren while they were in their mid-20s.

“I always found her very pretty, but I found them to be very pretentious,” an acquaintance in the Silvermans’ social circle said. “And I always wondered why she married him, and I figured it was for money.”

Her friends are already saying she was a golddigger who wanted to trade up, and hubby had upgraded her engagement ring to a 10 karat diamond right around the time she got knocked up by their friend.

Here's hoping hubby drags slut and company through the courts. He has already started, using adultery as a reason, and naming Simon as a codefendant.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."