2799 How to stop feeling tired............

I agree with clematis about playpens. For very small children, there's nothing wrong with putting the (clean, fed, safe) child in the playpen with some toys and going to get stuff done. For older kids (like toddlers), there's nothing wrong with putting the (clean, fed, safe) kid in his or her (clean, safe) room, shutting the door, and getting your stuff taken care of. I mean, seriously -- parents wouldn't be "so tired, so worn out" if they'd just set some damn LIMITS. "Look, Mom's got to do some work/clean the kitchen/take a nap right now, so you can go play." It's not rocket science, and it's definitely not harmful.

However, that's a lot of the problem. Look at a previous post in this thread where parents /don't/ take charge. Look at what happens.

The spoiled rich kids, the kids who won't help in the yard, the kids who won't do this or that, because their parents don't take charge.

That's the problem. You put your kid in a playpen, and you're not taking charge. You're just putting him/her in a playpen, and doing nothing more, and to no benefit for that child (remember, a playpen is only for the parent's benefit, not for the child's). I can see a playpen for a mere babe for protection, but by no means for a child who should already be out and around the house.

Sara Wrote:
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> parents wouldn't be "so tired, so worn out" if
> they'd just set some damn LIMITS. "Look, Mom's
> got to do some work/clean the kitchen/take a nap
> right now, so you can go play." It's not rocket
> science, and it's definitely not harmful.

This is my point. A parent MUST set limits. If not, then we see what we have now. Children literally getting away with murder (which is why I'm glad that technically I am now child-free; I wouldn't want to raise any more kids in this "let your kids get away with anything" government).

Whoopsie, last comment eaten by spamfilter. I said I agree with Dedanna: the playpen is for the mom's benefit. Absolutely. That's because, in my case, my mom was responsible for the entire household and needed to get things done. The house did not revolve around the every whim of my sis and I. As a result, we always had a clean and nice home and ate good meals together--right up to when I left for college. Neither of us was traumatized by playpens. It was one of several good tools in my mom's setting limits.

Dedanna, before someone rips you a new one, let me explain something to you: you are not childfree. If your kids are grown and gone, you are an "empty nester."

Childfree is someone who doesn't want children, EVER and chooses not to have them. I was reading some woman's blog the other day and she talked about "when I was childfree," i.e. married and no kids yet. During that period of time, she was childLESS, not childfree. If you want children "someday" you are not childfree. You are childless.

Childfree is something totally different from childless.

We also use the term "breeder" here. Many people find this objectionable, but it has a specific meaning. Check out these links and be sure to take your sense of humor with you.

http://www.happilychildfree.com/lingo.htm

http://dearparent.blogspot.com/2007/12/im-pnb-and-proud-of-it.html

If you are going to hang, you need to learn the lingo. Read and be wise.

Dedanna, being one of the most hardcore childfrees here on the forum, let me be the first to tell you that we are far from being "anti-parents" in fact, we wish more breeders would be PARENTS and actually do some goddamned PARENTING rather than being mindless breeders.

That being said, yeah, you are probably going to get flamed here.

If you really feel that the stuff we say here hits a spot with you, then do your part and encourage your own children to be childfree or if that is not the case, to get sterilized and have no more.




dedanna Wrote:
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> Sorry if I crossed the line with the above post,
> being a parent myself, I should have realized that
> this forum is for anti-parents only before I
> posted.
>
> Still, the post itself may prove to be of some
> value to those of you who know other parents who
> are feeling tired all the time, and can't get
> things done?
>
> Again, apologies for crossing the line here.
>
> However, I do stand my ground in that the way
> parenting is done these days is so backwards, and
> so stupid. My kids are grown now, I am technically
> child-free, and experience is gold in this regard,
> I feel.

Again, apologies if I've mispoken.

The links I think are wonderful, as is the lingo that goes with.

Thank you. Forgive me if it takes time to remember the lingo, and be able to use it properly. I fly off the seat of my pants a lot for time's sake, at times to my detriment.

I agree with the above:

> we wish more breeders would be PARENTS and actually do some goddamned
> PARENTING rather than being mindless breeders.

That was my point all along. I wish the same. I'm actually agreeing with you, so why would one get flamed for that?

I meant no offense, and again apologize if anything was taken that way.

Dedanna, I'm not flaming you and no need to apologize at this point.

Use of the term "childfree" is a fundamental term around here. I don't know how else to explain is except like this:

Personally, I'm a 40+ CF woman. It's not an exaggeration for me to say that I've been told HUNDREDS of times by other women, "Oh, I was once childfree like you, before I had Snotley." (And many will go on to say that they were once "childfree like you" and now they are parents and being a parent is better. Well, it may be better, FOR THEM, but it wouldn't be something I'd like to do.

It grates on your nerves.

Also, I wanted to alert you early because there are some people on this board who believe parents shouldn't post AT ALL. This is due in large part to parents who wander on this page, don't bother to read anything or get the spirit of the board, and immediately jump in with, "Why do you hate all childruuuuun and wish they were dead?"

My attitude as far as having parents posting here is case-by-case and "wait and see." The purpose of the board is to discuss the rants and the CF lifestyle. A parent can certainly rant about the shitty parenting that goes on today. But we've also had other parents who are all, "I totally support you," but their purpose here seems to be to tell us they are not Breeders and how good their kids are. (Something nobody has any way of verifying.) In short, many of them can't stop talking about their kids. If I wanted to talk about kids, I would have had my own and certainly there are Mommy Boards where these issues can be discussed

Also, parents have come here and left in a huff because someone *gasp* dared to question their choice to have children. The state of our environment and World is a HUGE reason why I opted not to have them. Many of us here feel the same way. I wouldn't want to tell my child, "Sorry, there aren't any jobs for you and I brought you into this polluted shithole called Earth. Your standard of life won't be like mine, but you'll figure something out."

None of this is personally directed at YOU. I'm just thinking out loud so to speak.

mommy wars here on bratfree? holy shit, im fine with breeders posting, but ofcourse she will say shes a parent not a breeder, all breeders think they are great parents, most people do not see themselves how they really are, they live in denile.