50 Reasons to be screwed.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/refcap/545989.html

"Breathing in the best smell in the world -- sleepy baby!"

Eww! *vomits*

Whoever wrote those is as fucked up and delusional as the one who wrote 101 Reasons for Having Another BAYBEE. Somebody's on some good drugs somewhere.

Trust me, baby rabies, baby lust, and baby mania DO NOT come from good drugs.

And what the fuck is up with new parents like this? Have they NEVER come in contact with a baby before? Have they NEVER spoken with people who have had babies before? They always act like they're doing something that has NEVER been done EVER before in the entire universe and there is absolutely NO ONE who can help them, answer their questions or provide any sort of guidance.


Best smell in the world...sun drenched feline.

I liked #12- Discovering how lovely the dawn chorus is! If some screaching crap loaf woke me up at dawn, I'd seriously consider infanticide. When do these pathetic breeders have time to care for their precious babies? It seems to me that they fart around online all day. It would take someone awhile to moo that much...

7) Sitting up in bed feeding your baby in the middle of the night, and knowing that all over the world other mothers are doing just the same
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I didn't read them all - too sick to my stomach to do so but this one caught my eye. While other women are up feeding their shit loaves, I am most likely riding my husband or having some other form of pleasure done to my body.

LOL! Sucks to be a moo!!!!

This shit is considered fun? Wow...these people really need to sort out their priorities if they think that getting a noseful of shit fumes from their loaf is fun.

Some of these are vomit-worthy:

"Finding out, at your antenatal class reunion, that no one gets bored of your birth story, no matter how many times you tell it."

- Oh they get very tired and disgusted by it, but they actually have enough manners to not tell you how much of a retard you are. One time telling your birth story is once too many.

"Watching your baby's sleeping face and wondering what the future holds for him."

- I'd be watching and trying to keep from cramming a sock down the little fucker's throat.

"Experiencing that amazing feeling of tenderness when your baby falls asleep in your arms."

- Yeah, the tenderness is when your arms start to ache from holding up the drooling, shitting loaf.

"Discovering all the little characteristics that make your baby unique -- fat toes, sticky-out ears, hair that sticks up no matter how much it's brushed..."

- All babies look like this, you asshats.

"Relishing the moment when he first says, 'I love you, Mummy'."

- ...because someday they will be screaming "I HATE YOU".

What a bunch of fucking morons. I can't believe people actually believe that crock of shit. I think I am sensing a full-fledged rant for my site being conceived from this topic. Hahaha, thanks for posting this, Computer Nerd.