We were in a similar situation - $100k-plus income, but in the DC area, that is (barely) middle class. Our solution? Sold the small house I bought when I was single (luckily, this was in 2004, before The Crash) and moved to deep country (not the suburbs). We bought a house we love on 7-plus acres that cost us what a very modest townhouse would have cost in our old area. Our property taxes went from almost $5,000 annually to barely $1,000 annually. Free water (well) and much lower utility costs, because at the altitude where we live AC is only needed maybe 10 days total out of the year (vs. months on end in summertime) and in winter we can heat with wood that I cut down/split for Free (why, that's my favorite price!)
So, our fixed monthly expenses dropped by more than half and we can now live better on $40k per year than we were living on $100k before. This takes a lot of the pressure/fear out of life because even if times get harder, the odds are near certain between the both of us that we can easily gin up enough cash to keep our house/pay for what we need. If things got really bad, in fact, we have the land to grow our own food - and literally could go "off the grid."
Now, I understand that this involves some compromises. We can't get Chinese takeout and most of the conveniences/stores are 30 minutes away by car. But to me, that is a sacrifice well worth making - because the alternative - being a debt slave for the rest of my life trying to keep up with ever-increasing living costs on a static or declining income - is about as hellish as it gets.
Next to having to deal with a Crotchfruit, of course!
Anyhow, my point is that there are plenty of areas around the country where a $40-$50k income will allow you to live quite comfortably - and $90k extremely so!