Disillusioned: #2833

Callida, it is awful how your relatives actually went up to apologize to the Breedersons when you asked them in a polite manner for their children to behave in a nice restaurant. I notice how a lot of people will laugh and coo over a badly behaved child and say things like, "Are you having a bad day?" I really want to smack someone when I hear such things said. Unless a child is an abuse victim or bullied at school, these taken care of little humans are rarely having a "bad day". Deal with supporting one's self and a cruddy boss with low pay to boot. That is more than having a "bad day". I often think family is usually the worst to deal with if childfree or different. I also notice how family will rarely take their own's side unless it has to do with kids.

I think, perhaps if you really don't want to have anything to do with family, write them all a polite letter. State that next time they treat you like a badly behaving little child (Oh, don't mind that lady, she doesn't understand that kids will be kiiidz) you WILL cut them off entirely.
If those asshole breeders could afford a restaurant like that, they could hire the loafs a snot-sitter. Or, as you politely pointed out, a more appropriate restaurant.
As for you husband, he knows. Don't rehash it with him: men just seem to get it out and forget about it. Women seem to be the ones that like to do that: it is in our nature actually, for good or ill. Cut him a little slack.
But I would definately inform whoever the offending family members as per the above paragraph. (if you do, watch them try and recruit other family members until it becomes an all out war... bring it on...grrrrrrrr)

Your story made me mad too, Callida...I obviously think you're justified in both your annoyance at morons who would inflict their children on other diners in a nice establishment, as well as your anger at your supposedly-supportive family for humiliating you and questioning your intentions. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them after that, either. I don't think it's terribly likely that you're going to get an apology, and if you hold a grudge over this, they'll just think you're petty (or moreso, since by speaking against your behalf to the Breedersons, they were already indicating that they perceived you as petty). Nevertheless, it would be vital to my self-esteem to take action after something like this, and I'm sure it is for you too. Good luck and keep us posted!

I don't even know what I would say if I were undermined in this way. What a shock. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm also furious that your family conducted themselves this way, even if they didn't agree with you.

I would be alone in my position so I can only imagine how hurt you must be. I wouuld DEFINITELY speak to someone in your family about how they made you feel, so that should you decide to skip the next outing, they may understand what it means to have someone's back, right wrong or indifferent. Please do tell us how you proceed with this.

Callida, sorry to hear that you got shafted that way. It's a bloody shame that someone will undermine someone who merely asks someone politely to discipline their chylllldren. I'm so sick of all of this child-centric BS it's not funny!

I guess the letter is a good idea. It might not get any results, but you'll be on record as opposing their treating you like some errant child.

This is wrong on so many levels I can't even find the energy to put it into words.

It was like they were bingo-ing you via the situation.

I hear you, Poofy_Puff. It is awful when even someone does not side with his or her own spouse. That is beyond messed up. But, as 2 Cents said, perhaps the hubby forgot about it quickly as that is sometimes due to conditioning...

I didn't think that the DH was siding against her. I thought what her parents and aunt did was wrong.

poofy_puff Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I didn't think that the DH was siding against her.
> I thought what her parents and aunt did was
> wrong.

Don't mind me. I got a nasty headache that will not go away so I am misreading things.

I wouldn't go out anywhere in public with any of them ever again, unless it was absolutely unavoidable. I think it was unforgiveable that they took it upon themselves to apologize FOR you. If people have a brood that won't behave in public and they MUST be fed, then they need to go to kid friendly buffets or Mcdonalds. I think that many of my family would have been embarrassed if I had said anything to them and they would have begged me to remain quiet. Other than sighs, loud comments, and body language, I have never approached a table with unruly brats and asked them to pipe down.

When I managed a restaurant years ago however, I DELIGHTED in having the authority to make them sit down and shut up, because to not do so would violate numerous health and safety regulations, which I knew by heart. "Mam, I am sorry to have to bring this to your attention, but Shitford is in violation of firecode 5642-b by laying down in front of that exit, and Shitinna is in violation of health dept. regulation 6791-g by licking the condiment bottles. Also, it's an OSHA violation for Sprogetta to continue to run into our kitchen area, and it's our company policy that children under two be safely strapped into their high chairs, per regulation 52 on page 78 of our manual.I am just looking out for your chylldren's safety".

I blame the parents ultimately of course, but managers and owners of restaurants COULD do something about it and do it in a way that wasn't offensive, if it's losing business they are worried about. Why don't they? I did it every single day and in such a way to the oblivious offenders that they were embarrassed of their negligence and quickly straightened up, and assholes felt intimidated by all of the regulations, etc and THEY cleaned up their acts right away. I am a small woman and have been told I have a friendly demeanor. If ****I***** can scare conformity into these shitholes, why can't these other managers? It should not be up to the customers to have to discipline or reprimand other customers, the MANAGERS should do it.

Rule #1: Loyalty to the family. They broke this rule.

It is so hurtful they undermined you and hideously embarrassed you. As family members they should have got your back, absolutely. Yeah, were it me, I'd take a bit of a vacation from them too, sad but true. If my family kissed up to strangers with obnoxious brats after I'd spoken to the parents, I'd feel betrayed.

Sorry to hear this happened.