The Stay At Home Mom Challenge

Please join me in laughing at this shit. larious

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And so, to you assholes who think we stay at home moms are a joke, I offer you, the Stay At Home Mom Challenge. You’re not going to come to my house to complete this challenge. You won’t try this in your own home either. No. You are going to attempt it in your place of business. Your office building. For simplicity’s sake, we’ll say your name is…Dick. Here are the parameters of the challenge: You have three main employees. We’ll call them Number 5, 6, and 7.You cannot fire them. They must remain in the building with you at all times. You cannot curse. And you have three tasks to complete (yes, just three simple tasks):make a five minute phone calltype, print out, and present a document in a meeting to a group of five people while your employees remain in the room with you. keep your office, the bathroom, and one of the meeting rooms in your building neat and clean for the duration of the day. Ready. Go.

http://www.scarymommy.com/stay-at-home-mom-challenge/

How about the "Working mom challenge" ? Work a real job outside of your home 8 hours a day. Then come home, and do the "stay at home mom challenge". My mother did this, while raising two kids. And finished her career with a well deserved cushy government pension. With a three month maternity leave for my brother. We are Canadians. No beefing or pumping. Priorities, people. You get back what you put in.

Is that all? Pffff..... I teach special (non-tard) areas. I have 1000 students/week through my classrooms. The workload is unbelievable.

Scary moo can lump it.

And yet, ScaryMoo is full of confessionals from SHAMS who claim to do nothing all day except sit around and play on their phones. eyes2

This "challenge" makes me laugh for so many reasons.

1. This challenge would be hilariously easy at work for me, as my co-workers never leave the building due to being too busy working their asses off. Doing what, you ask? Why, teaching the kids of people like this idiot who thought up this "challenge". And all of us manage twenty-odd chilluns in the same damn ROOM. Three at a time? Psssh. Amateur stuff.

2. Already used to not swearing at work due to it being unprofessional (children or no). No problem.

3. I don't keep the room, bathroom, etc. neat and clean myself. Students do that. If I find it's not done, I damn well don't do it myself. THEY do. During what would have been recess/extra choice time/what-have-you. They make a mess, they clean it up. Simple.

4. Frankly, no one who calls me at work has the time to talk for five minutes (see #1 about working our asses off), but my students leave me the fuck alone when I'm on the phone.

5. And let's talk about WHY this lady felt the need to create this "challenge". After reading the whole piece, likely she's feeling insecure about staying home with the kids. Or fed up. Or both. A lot of these are the old chestnuts about "I can't even poop in peace, the kids require constant supervision, I have no time to myself, blah blah blah. I also notice from the pictures of the miscreants (which means she felt the need to document the situation instead of immediately fucking disciplining the kids) that all the kids are preschool/infant/toddler aged. Yep, you sign up for several years of total barbarism with that age. Tough shit.

In all, this article is bitchy, pathetic, divisive, whiny, and laughable.

If you have to invent something called the 'Stay At Home Mom Challenge,' then you actually are the joke all the 'assholes' think you are.

As a person who has worked with a range of different social service clients and groups, including daycare children and young offenders, I laughed long and hard at that moo's "Challenge".

She hasn't the vaguest clue about actual workplace ratios for working with kids nor the expected workload and responsibilities.

If you're going to have multiple kids, the smart thing to do is space them far enough apart that you're not dealing with a preschooler, a toddler, and an infant at the same time. Of course you can't do anything when you've got multiple children that cannot be left alone for any amount of time lest they get into trouble.

And this challenge is a load of horse shit. You're a stay-at-home moo. Of course everything you do comes with the children attached. That's kind of the point. Quit whining and go take care of them kids.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

Quite frankly I want to see my SAHM unschooling friend even bloody TRY to keep her home tidy. I reckon she could make a good go of it if every moment did not have to be catalogued on facebook and instagram.

Here's my stay at home mom challenge: try taking care of your own house and kids without bitching about it all the damn time.

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stillwaters
Here's my stay at home mom challenge: try taking care of your own house and kids without bitching about it all the damn time.

wink

Here's mine: How about Moo starts using a fucking rubber? Oh, wait...she's already failed that challenge! larious larious

_________________________________________________________

Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

I would give that bitch a hundred bucks if she could do my job for a day without lighting shit on fire, spilling acid on herself or dropping a 55 gallon drum full of chlorosilane on her foot. Then she could see what real work is like.

This supposed "challenge" just demonstrates how little SAHMs know about actual work.

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mistress rotwang
I would give that bitch a hundred bucks if she could do my job for a day without lighting shit on fire, spilling acid on herself or dropping a 55 gallon drum full of chlorosilane on her foot. Then she could see what real work is like.

Acid and fire. Cooooool.

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mistress rotwang
I would give that bitch a hundred bucks if she could do my job for a day without lighting shit on fire, spilling acid on herself or dropping a 55 gallon drum full of chlorosilane on her foot. Then she could see what real work is like.

They all think they can do mine. Ok - restrain a crazy person with a knife or do a surgical cricothyroidotomy - before lunch...

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Haha reading that makes me so glad I am childfree with a clean and neat home, can keep my breakables on display, not to mention white tile floors clean......

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thom_c

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mistress rotwang
I would give that bitch a hundred bucks if she could do my job for a day without lighting shit on fire, spilling acid on herself or dropping a 55 gallon drum full of chlorosilane on her foot. Then she could see what real work is like.

They all think they can do mine. Ok - restrain a crazy person with a knife or do a surgical cricothyroidotomy - before lunch...

They always qualify themselves as a chef as one of their many "jobs" when they try to quantify how much they're worth, monetary-wise. But I'd like to see them make 10 gallons of cheesecake batter while making 15 pounds of bread dough while making/scooping a batch of 500 cookies while organizing the desserts and breads for five banquets going on at the same time and then plating desserts for another banquet and then setting up a buffet and making sure in-room dining and all restaurants have all their desserts and doing in-room amenities. Add on helping the other culinary departments out, chasing away the front of house staff and other employees that come sniffing around the bakeshops for snacks (and will just help themselves to brownies and cookies without the thought that maybe those were out for specific reasons and not their personal snack tray), and being treated like we do jackshit because we manage to keep ourselves organized and get stuff done in a timely manner so we can leave by 8PM and not have to stay all hours of the night. Doesn't help that the bakeshop is completely female-run and what we do is beyond the comprehension of everybody else in the kitchen. And you do this 40+ hours a week, not for a couple of hours a week through massive shortcuts. Everything we do in the bakeshop is done by scratch. The only things that are not are miniature tart shells and chocolate cups because it would be far too time-consuming to have to make thousands of those (literally, thousands. We use them all the freaking time).

Oh, and do all of that without burning the shit out of ourselves. I've managed to burn myself only once in the past month! You know you've burned yourself too many times when your doctor, upon examining you, is asking what the hell is all over your arms.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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paragon schnitzophonic

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thom_c

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mistress rotwang
I would give that bitch a hundred bucks if she could do my job for a day without lighting shit on fire, spilling acid on herself or dropping a 55 gallon drum full of chlorosilane on her foot. Then she could see what real work is like.

They all think they can do mine. Ok - restrain a crazy person with a knife or do a surgical cricothyroidotomy - before lunch...

They always qualify themselves as a chef as one of their many "jobs" when they try to quantify how much they're worth, monetary-wise. But I'd like to see them make 10 gallons of cheesecake batter while making 15 pounds of bread dough while making/scooping a batch of 500 cookies while organizing the desserts and breads for five banquets going on at the same time and then plating desserts for another banquet and then setting up a buffet and making sure in-room dining and all restaurants have all their desserts and doing in-room amenities. Add on helping the other culinary departments out, chasing away the front of house staff and other employees that come sniffing around the bakeshops for snacks (and will just help themselves to brownies and cookies without the thought that maybe those were out for specific reasons and not their personal snack tray), and being treated like we do jackshit because we manage to keep ourselves organized and get stuff done in a timely manner so we can leave by 8PM and not have to stay all hours of the night. Doesn't help that the bakeshop is completely female-run and what we do is beyond the comprehension of everybody else in the kitchen. And you do this 40+ hours a week, not for a couple of hours a week through massive shortcuts. Everything we do in the bakeshop is done by scratch. The only things that are not are miniature tart shells and chocolate cups because it would be far too time-consuming to have to make thousands of those (literally, thousands. We use them all the freaking time).

Oh, and do all of that without burning the shit out of ourselves. I've managed to burn myself only once in the past month! You know you've burned yourself too many times when your doctor, upon examining you, is asking what the hell is all over your arms.

We should have the CF job challenge¦ pick five of the most insane jobs people have on this board and see if the moos could do each one for every day in a week without epic fuck ups. If they succeed they have the right to one bitchfest we won't snark about.

My job is only difficult because I work with shit that could kill me in a most gruesome disgusting way if I fuck up badly enough. Most people aren't crazy enough to go near it.

Code this application in a week. You will be interrupted with pointless meetings where everyone is late and inane questions from non-technical co-workers. Expect last-minute requirement changes and a Thursday discovery that the library you were relying on has a bug. You cannot curse out loud, and you're responsible for keeping your desk and home tidy, maintaining your exercise schedule, and eating healthy food.

Of course, a SAHM's impression of being a software developer probably matches that Barbie bullshit. "Oh, tee hee, I don't actually write code. I get my male co-workers to do it for me!"

How about the "does what you do matter for jack shit?" challenge? Submit an application to all the jobs everyone mentioned here. List "I'm a stay at home mom" as your qualification and experience. Just that, since it's soooo great. If you get a job, I'll be damned.

I don't know why they keep trying to act as if they're SO FULFILLED and then beg for salary and other shit to make themselves feel as if they are on equal or higher step with people like us who don't rely on others to make our money for us.

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juliewashere88
This supposed "challenge" just demonstrates how little SAHMs know about actual work.

Before my physical illness caught up with my autism and other issues I had to occasionally wrangle my sister's three wild children. I did fairly well until I was undermined, but that's another story all together.

Now I can't do much of anything, but this bint, she has her health, and she brought her issues upon herself.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I'm sorry....the fail...it BURNS!
If she tried to do one of the many jobs I've had to do this year she would croak. Let's see:

Countdown defciency reports while maintaining my holding for the engineers. Which meant typing around 400 reports a day, 12-14 hours a day, without being able to break for a lunch and learning to hold-off going to the bathroom for as long as possible. And then be on call 24/7 for the engineers while doing this.

And let's not even go into having to deal with engineers who can only see black and white and can't understand the shade of grey I gotta operate in. I depend on other offices at times for things and they can't quite grasp that if they aren't there it isn't getting done.

My job may not always be physical, but there is no leaving to take care of a sick anything just because. You want off you better hope no one needs you, because if they do you are out of luck with no backup.

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catharsist
How about the "does what you do matter for jack shit?" challenge? Submit an application to all the jobs everyone mentioned here. List "I'm a stay at home mom" as your qualification and experience. Just that, since it's soooo great. If you get a job, I'll be damned.

I don't know why they keep trying to act as if they're SO FULFILLED and then beg for salary and other shit to make themselves feel as if they are on equal or higher step with people like us who don't rely on others to make our money for us.

LOOOOOOOOOL. Where I work, you either have to have at least an associate's degree from an accredited culinary school (which will cost you $80K) + 1 year experience OR 5 years restaurant experience to start at the lowest level at $10.50/hr. I got my job plus a promotion after 60 days because I had the degree and experience, 6 months of it being an intern there so everybody knew me and my ability. Being a SAHM making cupcakes and brownies and shit from box mix for bake sales and class parties means jack shit.

And we just don't have time for moos. Our previous pastry chef was one and it took one of us completely losing our shit and yelling at her about her leaving by 5PM, avoiding certain responsibilities expected of the pastry chef because baby, and a few other annoyances that had been building up to get her to make any changes. She left early this year, so now with the four of us, we're pastry chef, pastry supervisor, and the two cooks (there's also our morning baker but he's our outlier, twice our age, and just shakes his head at our antics). We take turns working the asscrack of dawn and the closing shifts.

There's nobody going, "I have kids so I can only work 9-3," or some sorry shit like that. You're not going to last long in a kitchen, even a corporate one like the one I work in, with stipulations like that. After the property switched companies, we lost half our kitchen staff, so when shit gets busy, 6-day work weeks with 12hr. shifts is not unheard of. Although they're getting cheap now, so they're trying really hard to not let us work beyond 8hrs./day if we have to work 6 days. Gotta work holidays and weekends, so there's no whining about needing those off because kids. The executive chef has kids, the executive sous chef is expecting his first kid soon, the sous of one of the restaurants has a baby, our morning baker has a kid, etc. But they're there working their asses off and the same will be expected.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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stillwaters
Here's my stay at home mom challenge: try taking care of your own house and kids without bitching about it all the damn time.

Exactly what I think everyday when I hear a mom open her mouth.

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juliewashere88
This supposed "challenge" just demonstrates how little SAHMs know about actual work.

The worst ones are the ones who used to work, and instead of being grateful from the break from shitty office politics, psychopath managers, deadlines and stress, they whinge that it's sooooo much HARRRRRDER being a SaHMoo.

Lets face it, unless you absolutely love your job, most of us would give our eye teeth to be able to give up working, or work less, and still have someone pay our way. I hate it when SAHMs pretend that staying home and looking after brats is anything other than that. Looking after the brats is the downside for not having to work, I'm afraid.