Professional baby planners for moos-to-be

Get a barf bag!

Baby planners--a kind of full-flight concierge service for the pignant--do "important" work such as help choose diaper pails and designer strollers for moos-to-be.

http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/family/articles/2008/08/25/easing_parent_to_be_overload/?page=full

Keep working more hours, CF people! Millions of breeders depend on us.

Damn, these moos are dumb! If they don't have the time or decision making skills to make purchases for the baybee how are they going to actually have time or the decision making skills to take care of one?!?

Wish I could think of a scheme to get these moos money, as long as I don't actually have to be around their kids!

..."how are they going to actually have time or the decision making skills to take care of one?!? "

They don't. That's what daycare, pre-school, nannies and the public school system is for. The only skill they posses is the ability to fuck - you can be a complete 'tard and fuck.

"As a growing number of older women - many professionals, with disposable income - join the ranks of bulging bellies, pregnancy has acquired a slew of luxurious accoutrements. There are prenatal spa treatments, personal pregnancy chefs, prebaby vacation packages known as "babymoons," "push presents" given to a mother to reward her for carrying and delivering a baby, prepacked hospital bags containing items like a hard-cover journal and breath mints, and now, baby planning - a kind of full-flight concierge service for the pregnant."

(vomits)

"When Meredith White was expecting her first son, nothing terrified her quite like a visit to Babies "R" Us. Aisle after dizzying aisle of baby paraphernalia beckoned, with dozens of varieties of bottles, nipples, wipes (and their warmers), pacifiers, cribs, strollers, and bibs. She did not want to buy anything without first assessing safety, usefulness, and developmental appropriateness. The analysis led the 34-year-old lawyer to a state verging on despair."


"DESPAIR"? How ludicrous. The woman has obviosuly NEVER been in any situation where she has been truly in a state of desperation.


"It was overwhelming," said White, who lives in Stow with her husband. "I would try to cram all the research in on weekends, but there was never enough time."

"RESEARCH"? Paaleeeeease. We should ALL have this much time on our hands.

"Cue the Baby Coordinators, the latest entry in the burgeoning "baby planning" field that helps expectant parents prepare for a new baby by advising on everything from the most absorbent diapers and sleekest strollers to decorating a nursery and readying a pet. For a fee of $250, Kristen DiCicco of Natick, a Baby Coordinators cofounder, walked White through Babies "R" Us. She offered the pros and cons of products, and when White left the store, she had a baby registry list and peace of mind"

d What a complete waste of money,although I do give the one who thought it up an A+ for an ingenious business plan.


"A baby is so important - so wouldn't you want someone to assist you with all the research you need to do to get ready?"....What's part of the commercialized culture: You can't do this yourself, you need experts," said Susan Linn, a psychologist at the Judge Baker Children's Center, a Harvard Medical School affiliate in Boston's Mission Hill, who has studied the effects of marketing on parents and children..."

Important, to WHOM? I thought after a woman became a moo, that all of that shit came naturally? Are they NOW saying that TMIJITW takes some assistance?

.."Part of getting ready for a baby is having the experience of making decisions that are going to affect someone else, a child you love," Linn said..."



"For Emily Carines, 32, a massage therapist from Brighton, the prospect of navigating pregnancy and parenthood, and the ever-growing number of products that now accompany the journey was daunting..."


"DAUNTING"??? I guess they drug out the thesaurus for some of these adjectives/adverbs:yeah


"...Her baby planner, DiCicco, proved instrumental on more than the toy front, she said. DiCicco helped her choose a diaper pail, opting for a brand that does not require special bags - something Carines hopes will be a money- and hassle-saver."

Probably her lifetime high of decisions made.


"Boston-area baby planners say their clients are working women, in their late 20s to mid 30s. Most look for help putting together baby registries and baby-proofing their homes, but a number of other services are offered, including "babymoon" planning, daddy preparation, and readying birth announcements"


In other words, women who have closet CF husbands and are looking for an easy excuse to not work and become the elusive and ALL admired, "SAHM". I feel SO sorry for men who get "oopsed" into these relationships with "career woman", who secretly want to spawn, and do so as soon as the marriage license is filed in their county of residence. If I was a man I would get snipped as soon as the law allowed, and keep it to myself.

Do they want planners or do they want to be supermom? MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS

"Carolyn McLoughlin, 28, a therapist who lives in Brookline, said that after watching a friend spend 30 hours researching strollers, she decided she would go the baby-planning route."

Good fucking LORD! If my life was reduced to spending 30 hours researching a stroller, I'd swallow a bottle of sleeping pills.

Perhaps I should go into this business. I could charge $1000 to tell a moo that she needs a chair with wheels for the brat, a crib, diapers, and toys. Ooh, how hard.

LucyTrainWreck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Carolyn McLoughlin, 28, a therapist who lives in
> Brookline, said that after watching a friend spend
> 30 hours researching strollers, she decided she
> would go the baby-planning route."
>
> Good fucking LORD! If my life was reduced to
> spending 30 hours researching a stroller, I'd
> swallow a bottle of sleeping pills.
>
> Perhaps I should go into this business. I could
> charge $1000 to tell a moo that she needs a chair
> with wheels for the brat, a crib, diapers, and
> toys. Ooh, how hard.


That freaked me out as well. THIRTY HOURS? My God, that is such an insane waste of time. I told my sister who birthed two kids about that and she just rolled her head back and laughed her ass off. She said that she spent about 30 MINUTES picking out a stroller and never looked back. THIRTY HOURS is way to the extreme, IMHO.

Baby planners?! It's hard to believe that many of our parents made do with *gasp* hand-me-down baby furniture, clothes and toys!

Push presents?! You mean the little bundle of joy that has ruined your life forever isn't an important enough gift?

Unbelievable.

No wonder most of these moos they can't be in the workforce or have careers - they can't think for themselves. Can't pick out your own stroller? Your own maternity clothes? Grow a brain!!

And I get the feeling that pretty soon it won't be just the rich - but the very middle class women who will feel entitled to a "personal baby planner".

Keep this up and baby planners WILL become surrogate moos!

Did I just miss some important economic news? I thought we were supposed to feel sorry for the SAHMoo's, and quiverfull families, because they can't afford anything any more. But some still apparently have enough money to spend $250 a pop to have someone hold their hand and say "Yes, all baby wipes are the same, buy the most expensive ones" or "Well, do you want cup holders on your stroller? Yes? Buy the stroller with cup holders then?" If I could pay $250 to crack any one of these assclowns in the head with a baseball bat, I would.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

The stupid moos will need an ass-wiping service soon.

Pass the barf bag

where does one make an appointment to have an orgasm?

Ha! You are right, married with rabbits!

I think at least HALF of the reason these twits hire their life coaches and birth coaches and other BS coaches is so they can Casually Say, during the next play group or whatever, "Oh yes, we only wanted the best, so I hired a pregnancy coach to guide us through the process."

Translation:
1. We can afford an expensive "coach" (although they're likely deep in debt)--we're richer than you, nah nah!
2. We "care more" about our special little one--clearly more than you, who have not hired a coach! Nah nah!

I think it's just all part of the unending Mommy Wars.

Of course they're too DUMB to know that all these "coach" jobs that have appeared in the last 5 years or so are complete and utter BS. Buncha enterprising shysters preying on the stupid.

Another bunch of moomies who are trying to keep up with each other. *eyeroll*

---

lab mom

If I could deal with the rosy cheeked giddyness, the silly excitement surrounding the happy event, and all of the droves of squealing women at the showers, I could be a baby planner. I have had jobs I hated in the past, but if the money is right I could easily help them part with $300 by pretending to be interested in their latest ultrasound and telling them which baby beds are all the rave. The only problem is that when the job was over, they would probably innundate me with baby pics and want for me to see the baby and I am not that good of an actress. You would have to put up with all of that though because it's probably a HUGE referral AND repeat client business.

I would bet the house that 99.9999% of the time, this is solely for bragging rights.

kidlesskim Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If I could deal with the rosy cheeked giddyness,
> the silly excitement surrounding the happy event,
> and all of the droves of squealing women at the
> showers, I could be a baby planner. I have had
> jobs I hated in the past, but if the money is
> right I could easily help them part with $300 by
> pretending to be interested in their latest
> ultrasound and telling them which baby beds are
> all the rave. The only problem is that when the
> job was over, they would probably innundate me
> with baby pics and want for me to see the baby and
> I am not that good of an actress. You would have
> to put up with all of that though because it's
> probably a HUGE referral AND repeat client
> business.

And you'd be eligible for an Oscar!

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me