A day in the life of a family dealing with a 20-something, diaper-wearing severely autistic son.

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nokidsandhappy
Vgfek- We all are on the spectrum, hence the reason why autism and aspergers has been renamed as autism spectrum disorders. The thing is that everyone has various levels of autism like behaviour, it's when it interferes and inhibits people's lives, then it becomes a disorder. Extremes exist on both ends of the disorder, but most people hover around the top, including those known as high functioning autistics or aspergers.

The thing is that nearly all of them can be taught correct behaviour in one form or the other, the rest are so severely disabled, that are / or nearly vegetative -but then they aren't really a significant danger to themselves or others. It's the moos that insist use the other one's label as an excuse for vile behaviour simply because they can't be assed putting in the extra effort to teach and enforce some forms of corrective behaviour (I'm not referring to meltdowns though).

However, the passive-aggressiveness and overt anger over getting a shit deal, as evidenced here is also very common with Autard Moos - along with seriously screwed power-plays and generally mental behaviour. It gives credence to the thought that autism is a significant genetic trait.

Anyway, this moo seems to be harboring some serious hatred, along with exhibiting manipulative, splitting and entitlement traits common to those with personality disorders. However the following are just some examples of how this Moo obviously has no idea about autism.


"there's lots of sensory stuff for him to look at... he's really calm because he's enjoying all the sensory stuff"

No he isn't, he's more likely trying to process the sensory overload and all the other information that he's surrounded with. If he was really enjoying it, he wouldn't be doing self-soothing behaviour like chewing his hoodie covered hand, and staring blankly whilst retreating into his own mind.

By the looks of it, he expresses enjoyment by facial expressions, physical contact and non-verbal sounds - none of which was expressed when he was wondering around.

Me thinks this is more for the moo's enjoyment then anything else.

"try to redirect him, he usually centres himself around one display"

That's because he's overcome by the sensory overload, or saw something that peaked his interest, and is now focused on it.
That's not a bad thing, and is precisely what they were supposedly trying to achieve - if they were out to satisfy the tard's needs.

"Some of you... If you can't handle reality, you're in the wrong profession...some of them still don't get it... if that's your idea that's pretty sick"

Wow, angry much. Out comes the hatred and repulsion - but the language is a dead giveaway. Projecting her own hatred and disgust of her reality. The intensity also screams personality disorder too.

"Sorry pal if we disturbed you?!? It's a brutal world for the disabled!" [the guy in Taco Bell storming off]

Antagonism, self-righteousness and 'Woe is me'. This moo has no idea about the guy whom stormed off, but no, he's horrible because he gave the stink eye and stormed off. Screw you with a spiny cactus - and spare us the 'Woe is me but FU!' routine

The guy was just there enjoying his lunch, and in comes some some drooling, possibly loud and potentially dangerous tard - no doubt with anger-Moo in toe shoving everyone out the way, in order to commence feeding time. What about the smell, no doubt flapper had a diaper loaded, and stinking of dried drool. Unlike Anger-Moo who's accustomed to this foulness, others aren't, and surely don't want it when they're trying to eat.

[Assisted feeding time with resistance]

Yep, keep shoveling it in when he's resistant - and they wonder why they become 300 pound, hulking rage killers?!?

[Driving with flapper in back, chewing on a nice choking tube]

For crying out loud, get a minivan and stick him in the far back so he can't shove his feet in your face when your driving.

Yes he like to chew on a rubber tube, but it's a perfect size for choking, and he's already got most of it in his mouth. What's the guess Moo won't step up and start mouth to mouth if he does too.

[Ridiculous shoe antics]

Measure his foot a home, and then order them online.
That's right, he's becoming agitated and she insists on keeping him there provoking it. And she wonders why people give her the stink eye.

[Slapping nurse] '' hahaha, you're just going to have to take it"

Zero sympathy, and thinks is hilarious.

And she wonders why she doesn't get quality staff to work with him?

That's okay though, she won't be laughing when it's her getting hit by her 300 pound raging hulktard.

[Self-abuse] "why do you think people don't get this?...so cruel and weird"

Yeah, it's everyone's fault. Gawd, entitled much?

"Doesn't hold him hostage in the bed like I've seen other nurses do!"

Splitting - classic personality disorder trait.


"you can't just throw in any nurse with Jamie"

Entitlement - another personality disorder trait.


"you see him go into a T/C seizure, this is very interesting to me.."[watching surveillance]

"There he goes having a seizure, so you were on a fire this morning"

Lack of empathy or concern for her own kid literally convulsing to the point of consciousness and death - and she finds it interesting? Wow, sociopathic much?



[takes three minutes for mother to respond] "it's really mentally exhausting to go through this all the time.

Real concerned Moo - yeah for herself.


"you don't give PR diastat for someone who hasn't had a BM...blah blah, if you have medical background you'll know what I said "

Yeah, I do, and what she said is absolute gibberish. Valum is sedative that works on the central nervous system, with the intended effect of calming the muscle contractions caused by seizing - it has nothing to do with bowel movements. If anything it would cause constipation.

Per rectal is a ridiculously stupid way to give it, and the practice has been abandoned here for decades. Imagine this occurring in public - can you imagine the howls of abuse it would cause - well that's why it's been abandoned. Intranasal, buccal and IM are far more effective ways to administer it.

Finally, SpO2 at that level is an emergency situation and should be a trip to the ED, not fiddling around with seizure medication. Yes oxygen is on, but that's serious oxygen desaturation requiring medical intervention - who knows if he's actually breathing right for that period - he could be suffering anoxia while Moo stuffs around with meds she obviously has no idea about.

Yep, all this personality disorder crap, rampant ignorance and overt hatred from these Moos of tards is the primary reason why I stopped working with these clientele.

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videogamesforeverkidsnever
(snip) I'm curious as to how you are typing certain things in red.

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boredofbreeders
See, this is why I could never be a parent. I could never have the strength or patience to parent a regular child, much less a special needs child. I know I'd be one of those parents who'd snap and abandon them in the woods somewhere.

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boredofbreeders
THANK YOU. We need to look at the quality of life in these cases. To me, this is no different than someone with a terminal disease; they are not going to get better. They have no enjoyment in life. They can't interact meaningfully with anyone or anything. Why prolong their and their families' misery?

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night owl
I don't like that store...there is wayyy too much stuff, merchandise, stacked and piled everywhere, climbing up the walls, and hanging from the ceiling. The standing shelving units are way too close together, the aisles too close together and congested...I feel claustrophobic in there. It's way too much sensory overload for me...so what about this guy? I would think this would be really stressful for him.

2:25 and the moo is talking about how 'he's looking at all the sensory stuff in there, there's a lot of sensory stimulation in here and he likes that and he's really content just walking around and looking at all this stuff, a lot of visual stimulation in here, which is why he's calm right now.' (paraphrased)

I don't get that. I thought true severe autistics could get triggered with massive anxiety if they're exposed to too much sensory stimulation?

On another note, and I realise she most likely has complete legal rights to post all these videos, and that he is probably completely unaware that he's being offered up to the internet, but I feel like she's violating his privacy by putting him on YT.

The next vid up is one of him "stimming," which is I assume where he drools and moans and rocks back and forth...that too feels like a violation of his privacy to me.

Moo obviously thinks she's educating The Community^TM, but how do I know that she isn't also motivated to seek validating udder rubs from The Community^TM? Besides, as has been brought up already, I have no reason to trust her expertise in "living with the face of autism," her understanding of the epidemiology of this condition, or her explanations of its manifestations in her son.

4:56, and we're outside now at the SMooV, and we're being "educated" on what it's like to drive with an autistic in the car.

5:15...Ooooo, okay! This is where the passive-aggressive comments start! She realises with a sarcastic laugh that some of you watching would be gleefully happy if she and the son died in a car wreck so the Commuuuuuuuunity no longer had to provide services and support.

Angry bitter MamaBear^TM moo comes out! She's going on about IPP's and his SIB, whatever those are, and how he needs 2 support people at all times.

5:53, moo snots that this is reality, and if you can't handle reality, like I said before, you're in the wrong profession! Who in the world is she talking to with all this angry scolding?

5:59, Ahhh, oh, I see...vid continues, and with the text on the screen now, it appears she's posted this vid to "advocate" for more services and support by attempting to shame the local San Diego Regional something, whatever that is, some autism place I guess, into providing more staff support at all times or something, by putting this video on blast for the world to see.

I think she's addressing the wrong audience. The internet doesn't care. Autizzmooos will bellow on your behalf, but your average YooooToooober is not going to lobby on your behalf by sending hate mail or whatever she'd like to the San Diego Regional place.

I don't know why she thinks the staff at the San Diego place are going to feel much empathy for her once she gives them this URL and shows the world how she's attempting to embarrass them into granting her wishes.

6:11, Anyway...this rant continues with Moo up on her cross, being very sarcastic "This is reality, so if you don't like it, I don't know what to tell ya, that's just the way it is!"

And she's really using exaggeration, a la 'If you WANT to keep putting people's health and safety in jeopardy, like you are my son's, by, I guess your answer is just to deny him access to the community by saying oh, who cares, he can just stay home and walk around the pool for 500 laps...

[She has a pool? With him? I hope she's got a locked fence around it and a pool cover.]

...until he's bored out of his skull and starts hitting himself more, well the goal of his IPP is to reduce his SIB (?), and if he's unable to go into the community on Saturday and Sundays, or even Saturday, his SIB increases, so if that's your idea of helping Jamie, that's pretty sick!' (paraphrased but damn close)

OMG, and I'm only at 6:50.
Do I really have the stamina to make it through all 25 minutes of this? Ugh. Exhausting!

6:52, and now we're at Taco Hell and moo mutters that someone is a "piece of shit," "sorry pal that we disturbed you,"It's a brutal world for the disabled, man, yeah, cause people are selfish." And she's got this behavioural support guy totally backing her up and feeding her ego. While he spoon feeds this adult son.

Without seeing the other person's reaction to her son, I can't agree that the other guy is a piece of shit. I am going to guess that moo's definition of "dirty look" may be quite subjective to her own interpretation only. And so what if it was legitimately a dirty look. Not everyone has to like you or your son. Not everyone has to smile at him. Get over it.

I think she's advocating for the San Diego autism support place to provide 2 people on duty for the son at all times. Right now, it's moo and Behavioural Support Guy.

Moo is not clear; I can't tell whether she's happy with it being her plus BSG or if moo wants off duty desperately, and is advocating for someone to take her place so that the 2:1 carers would be 2 other support people other than herself.

Always a good idea to clearly state what you're advocating for, but this has just turned into a cross-bearing, righteous, angry rant.

9:20, BSG is now mixing the medication in with the Taco Hell food.

9:50, and son starts slapping the table while BSG is still trying to get the meds down. Moo says "let's keep our hands calm while we're getting our medication, ok? We're not going to hit the table," and I am not sure how the son hears her because he still has the full headphones on.

10:08 and moo wants San Diego place to know one person has to wipe his face while BSG feeds him. That damn song from Frozen is on.

10:20, and moo reminds again of the importance of him having 2:1 (carers:son) to prevent self-injurious behaviour.

10:34, BST still spoon feeding him beans 'n' cheese with the meds in it.

10:40, moo again reminds how it's important to have one person making sure he doesn't get up while the 2nd person is feeding him and getting his meds down.

11:35 minutes in, and James has now eaten three beans 'n' cheese. Yeah, I'd want him in the back seat, too, for the drive home! Poor BSG - he has to sit back there, too.

This is important, now, so I want to make sure I have your full attention for this part...

Moo wants us all, the collective internet I guess, to know the following:
"It's very important that you know that when J eats at Taco Hell, pintos and cheese he loves, you have to make sure that it's not too hot, and you also cannot have red sauce on it, NO red sauce. It has to be pintos and cheese, no red sauce, pintos and cheese, NO red sauce...he loves it. [This ends your public service bulletin].

12:01 and we're back in the SMooV.

Only 12:01!
Does this ever end?

My biggest question is exactly what is she advocating for? One more support person with him besides herself, or 2 other support people with him other than herself? She sure wants him "to be able to go out into the Commuuuuuunity^TM on Saturdays and Sundays. I think Moo is desperado for some down time herself with the son out of the house, even if he's going places every Saturday and Sunday that may be overstimulating.

My next question is who is her intended audience? Why not film this and send it only to the San Diego autism place instead of blasting it online for the whole world unless she's just plain manipulative and trying to shame them into providing more support.

I can certainly believe that she's mis-educating the internet about the real ins and outs and workings of awwtism, if she thinks he loves all this multiple sensory stimulation.

Finally, how is he supposed to hear his moo talking in a relatively quiet voice when he's got full headphones on and his iPod playing?

I think she wants him to "enjoy the community, go out and get clothes and shoes and have fun" as a nice sounding cover for the fact that she wants a break.

Oh, this is so tedious. And it goes on and on and on. They go back out to the SMooV where the lecture continues, and then to a shoe store...I did get to hear the Halloween theme song in the shoe store, so that was a nice plus. But I think I'd rather have another surgery than sit through more of this. eyes2

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doomflower
Ah, I see you've finally discovered Jamie and his doting mawm.

I have some feels for the guy. He isn't on the 'spectrum', he IS the face of full-blown autism. There is no coming back or scale of improvement for him; he's permanently, severely messed up. His brain is messed up in ways doctors can't even comprehend.

This actually depicts a 'good' day for Jamie. His bad days look a little more like...well, this:

https://youtu.be/Iu7C5clA4q0

His mawm flat-out refuses to have him institutionalized. Honestly, I think she's turned delusional over the years trying to give him a 'normal' life. He's never going to get any better. She's taken on far more than she can handle with his care. Now she's demanding that the round-the-clock care he would get in an institution be made available to him in the 'community', and it's just deluded thinking.

Now that Jamie is a grown man, and bigger than she is, she might need to re-evaluate her original plan.