1132 If The Kid Thing Happens

Blossom, I am glad you and your husband have a strong relationship. Family interference can cause more problems than a person can realise. That was part of the problem with my former husband. My in-laws were atrocious. Many times, the WIFE gets the blame over being CF as if that "nasty woman" made that "poor man" give up dreams of family life. These MILs can be god-awful when it comes to being so possessive over their sons. Maybe you want to stay away from the moo-in-law's house just for self-preservation. I am at an age where I will NOT tolerate anyone I don't like unless it is dealing with someone at work so I can earn a paycheque.

Hello india I am glad mmy husband supports me on this aswell.He can see what she is trying to do.Its so sad but I litrally have to force myself to go and see my inlaws and I know it shouldnt be like this but she is a dead set fucking cow.

Many times, the WIFE gets the blame over being CF as if that "nasty woman" made that "poor man" give up dreams of family life
"
The above statement from you is so true...This is how she feels.She has practically said it.I will go around there when I "have to" just to keep Geoff happy because its not his fault they are such wankers.I just want to try and be diplomatic about it but I just know one day the bitch is going to press the wrong buttons and boy am I going to let it rip.

I know what you mean by getting to a ceartian age and not tolerating someone you dont like...I am gettingf that way myself these days.

Good morning, Blossom! Don't ever say "you should not be like this". This woman, your husband's mother, is doing what she can to interfere with your life and your marriage. I know the feeling because I got my tubes tied BEFORE marrying my former husband. I made it clear to "J" that I did not want kids and that I was going to get the procedure done regardless of his feelings. He knew up front so he could leave and find a woman who wanted kids...if that was his desire.

"J's" mother seemed supportive at first using the "it is your choice" yadda...yadda...yadda!!! Long story short is that this woman started screaming how I would be so very sorry when I got home that day after the outpatient surgery of the tubal ligation. I know very well this dame resented me not popping out grandbabies for her even though she had plenty of those grandsprogs and that a woman is not a broodmare to carry on a family name.

Please let Geoff know that you having to endure his family will not make him happy in the long run even if your participation in their lives may make him happy for now. That is if you want to stay away from such asinine people. A lot of times, the other person does not realise how deep the feelings go when having to deal with such awful relatives. I am glad my marriage ended to "J" but I don't want to see in-laws be the potential ruin of another union.

If you can say No to your family about actually having kids, it shouldn't be that much of a stretch to say no to having to take care of their children. I'm considered the black sheep of the family because I've let them know that if they can't just accept me for how I am (like my friends, and other family members) then I really don't feel the need to participate in their reindeer games. Also, I tend to play up my enjoyment of alcohol around the breeder-brained family members, just to drive that final nail into any "lets bring the kids Feh's" thoughts (honest, I'm not the drunk I claim to be - they may always see me with a drink in my hand when I'm visiting, but that's because it makes things easier). Thusly, I am confident that no relatives or friends are just going to show up with their kids and expect me to drop everything to care for them. Fortunately I'm also an only child whose parents don't seem to care if I spawn or not, so I probably don't have the same pressures that alot of you have.

I guess I believe that if you make it clear that your family obligations begin and end with your attendance at signifigant events and NOT giving up your life and plans at a moments notice to make your childed relatives lives easier, that should eventually get through their heads. If it doesn't, there is no law that states you must have a relationship with any particular family members. As an older, and wiser, friend once told me "you can always take a vacation from your family as well".

Thankyou india for your sensible advice I have taken it on board and I will be discussing it with Geoff this weekend when we get some quality time toogether.

I know he will understand where I am comming from because he can see what she is doing.Its going to be okay as I am not going to let her come between us ever.Even if I did want kids I would be to afraid to have them because she is the type to completley take over.I would not be able to get her off my front door step.We are so so lucky to have made the choice we have....We have our whole lives ahead of us and the world is our oyster - sounds really corny I know...but it is true.

My husband supports me as well, and we love each other deeply. Probaly better than my sil's relationships, and they are childed. I have endometriosis, so I can honestly say I'm lucky, since it works in my favor. My in-laws think everyone wants kids, and it should be easy to get pregnant. (They are wrong, obviously) They are also incredibly baby rabid, to the point it's pathedic. It seems like they care more about their grandchildren, then the parents of those children. Really pathedic. Also, like I said before, our relashionship it a lot better than theirs. *It's* not wonder my husband wants *very little* to do with them.

It sounds like you and your husband have a wonderful relation ship water lilly - thats nice to hear.My husband and I are the same.We are so close and I think it is actually because we dont have kids.They say that children bring a couple closser toogether but that is crap.I have seen couples who have no time for each other because of the stresses of raising kids.

We have a great life.Sure we both work full time but after that all our time is ours to do what we please and I would never have it any other way.

Yea it is sickening to see how some grandparents fawn over their grandchildren - they really do seem to care for them more than their own children - I have seen it.

I am sorry about your endometriosis I have heard it is painful.Hopefully there will be a solotion for you sometime soon.Some people say having a baybee(sic) can 'cure' this condition....have you thought about it??? I am only kidding ya!!!lol...

Well, Blossom, you could use your MIL's behavior against her. It might shut her up right quick.
"I'd have children, but you're such an overbearing bitch, I'm afraid you'd take over and not let me raise them properly."

but that would be really, really mean.
And the look on her face? Priceless.

lol.... oh how I would just lurve to say something like that to her...

Feh...where were you when I was married to my former husband and a little more than timid around his family even though I am glad I was up front about the tubal and CF issue???

Blossom, where did you get the smiley icons? I am an icon geek and can load my posts full of them. I am really glad to read that you do have a loving and beautiful relationship with your husband.

Never mind...I notice how my icons became reality once I previewed the post. Cool...man!

I can only do the smilies but how do you get the other ones? like the green one for example?

Thanks, Blossuom. It's okay there is the depo shot or the pill. That'd be better than getting pregnant. http://www.bratfree.com/refugees/smilies/smilies.html
Above is the website for the smilies.

Thankyou very much water lilly - have a great arvo...