PMYABP AKA Narcissistic parenting

I am also the daughter of a narcissistic mother. I have realized that during my time in Canada, and when I came back, i helped my depressed brother to realize that it is not his fault and that he himself is not FAULTY, but that it is our mother who is making him feel this way. It has brought us closer together as friends to realize the narcissism of our parents and that our dad is an enabler.

I also made him and me listen to this book, i can only recommend it:
The Narcissistic Family

So, the main problem is that in my life, I have never felt really loved; the one thing I am longing for constantly are relationships with other people who are willing to see me for who I truly am and who appreciate me for myself - unlike my parents, who never did that. My narcissistic mother also constantly is trying to bring me down, yet I somehow managed to pass my Master in Biology despite her interference. Of course now she tries to take that achievement from me by stating that it was all thanks to her.

I have also been thinking... maybe there is quite a lot of people that had narcissistic parents and decided to be childfree because they do not wish to put a child into this world to be just as emotionally abused as they were. Or, they finally want the freedom they never had when they were younger and emotionally abused. I know that for me, those are both reasons for never having children - because if I don't create them, they can never be abused; if I don't create any children, i will still have freedom to live how I want that won't be dictated by anyone else again.

I do see a lot of CF people with narcissistic parents, based on the posts, but I don't know if there's any correlation. My parents are not, and I don't know how common it is in general. I wonder if CF people just talk about it more, because they are looking more closely at family relationships, whereas a lot of breeders just follow the cycle.

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yurble
I do see a lot of CF people with narcissistic parents, based on the posts, but I don't know if there's any correlation. My parents are not, and I don't know how common it is in general. I wonder if CF people just talk about it more, because they are looking more closely at family relationships, whereas a lot of breeders just follow the cycle.

Maybe we don't want to become our own enemy.

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yurble
I do see a lot of CF people with narcissistic parents, based on the posts, but I don't know if there's any correlation. My parents are not, and I don't know how common it is in general. I wonder if CF people just talk about it more, because they are looking more closely at family relationships, whereas a lot of breeders just follow the cycle.

I believe this is true. Most families have some type of dysfunction that doesn't get addressed. I think CF people in general tend to be introspective and aware, and willing to do the work to recognize and overcome problems. Most people just go along and keep breeding more dysfunction without even acknowledging it, or worse yet, join in and justify it, because "no one is perfect" or "all famblees are screwed up", to normalize it in their minds and allow them to keep breeding and denying.

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blondie

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yurble
I do see a lot of CF people with narcissistic parents, based on the posts, but I don't know if there's any correlation. My parents are not, and I don't know how common it is in general. I wonder if CF people just talk about it more, because they are looking more closely at family relationships, whereas a lot of breeders just follow the cycle.

I believe this is true. Most families have some type of dysfunction that doesn't get addressed. I think CF people in general tend to be introspective and aware, and willing to do the work to recognize and overcome problems. Most people just go along and keep breeding more dysfunction without even acknowledging it, or worse yet, join in and justify it, because "no one is perfect" or "all famblees are screwed up", to normalize it in their minds and allow them to keep breeding and denying.

It's also been discussed here many times that there's a correlation between being childfree and being introverted. I wonder if they are all linked?

All those studies on breeders, and nobody is doing the kind of studies we want. Just today I've read us wondering about whether CF people are more likely to be artistic, if we're more likely to be introverts, and if we're more likely to have crappy parents.

It would be nice to know if there's some trait that makes becoming CF more likely, but I fear such information would be used against us.

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yurble
All those studies on breeders, and nobody is doing the kind of studies we want. Just today I've read us wondering about whether CF people are more likely to be artistic, if we're more likely to be introverts, and if we're more likely to have crappy parents.

It would be nice to know if there's some trait that makes becoming CF more likely, but I fear such information would be used against us.

Heh. Severe introvert...fine arts major...spends an inordinate amount of time in r/raisedbynarcissists...I've got the trifecta!