Your CF Clown Name (frivolous question)

This is a silly and frivolous question, at best, so please stop right here if you are looking for a sensible one.

OK. Let's say you got snookered into being a clown at a birthday party for a dozen 5-year-olds. It's the last thing you want to do, but through a combination of really irritating circumstances there's no way out of it.

However, in protest, you choose a clown name that slyly hints at your CF status. Or not so slyly! What name would you choose?

Mine is Spanky.

I don't know if this qualifies, but quite a while ago either DH or I (can't remember who) came up with Disgruntles the Clown. Cracks me up every time I think about it. It's kind of a play on Sparkles or Chuckles or whatever. I guess we could claim that being constantly reamed by our breederific society makes us...disgruntled! :sw

I've actually had to do this for my youngest sister. I was Sassy the Clown.

I'm absolutely terrified of clowns. And mascots.

*runs away from thread screaming*

This is PURELY hypothetical for me as I would NEVER play a clown, Mrs Claus, Glenda the friendly witch, Casper the friendly ghost, Ronald McDonald, Barnie, or ANY recognizable character which would cause kyds to flock to me. I do NOT see how Disneyworld characters can keep from slitting their throats on a daily basis. Anyway, I guess I would call myself Gingerbread The Clown, in secret honor of the gingerbread house where Hansel and Gretal were cooked and eaten for being stupid enough to trust a mean old woman and greedy enough to stuff themselves like pigs. What STUPID kyds those two were, as was Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood, not to MENTION what an idiot Cinderella was for allowing herself to be abused. All she had to do was visit a solicitor while in town on one of her many errands and she could have EASILY gotten her father's estate money and made servants out of the wicked step famblee. She wasn't smart enough to do that so she endured a horrible life and was stupid enough to think that pansy of a prince was going to make her happy.

I'd like to see a "part 2" of these fairy tales, or better yet, write a few part twos myself.

Scabs the Clown would never be invited to do a second clown-gig.

In all honesty, I can't take credit for the name--he was featured on a birthday card I got several years ago. Still makes me cringe.

"Shakes the Clown" - there was a movie titled this! If you haven't figured it out, he was a drinker and would show up hungover if I remember correctly.

spermandapaycheck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Shakes the Clown" - there was a movie titled
> this! If you haven't figured it out, he was a
> drinker and would show up hungover if I remember
> correctly.
It stars Bobcat Goldthwaite, the real Julie Brown (of "Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun") and is the Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

IT.

Or Molesto the clown.

I found this on TOC:

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = snickle b = doombah c = goober d = cheesey e = crusty f = greasy g = dumbo h = farcus i = dorky j = doofus k = funky l = boobie m = sleezy n = sloopy o = fluffy p = stinky q = slimy r = dorfus s = snooty t = tootsie u = dipsy v = sneezy w = liver x = skippy y = dink y z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin b = feather c = batty d = burger e = chicken f = barffy g = lizard h = waffle i = farkle j = monkey k = flippin l = fricken m = bubble n = rhino o = potty p = hamster q = buckle r = gizzard s = lickin t = snickle u = chuckle v = pickle w = hubble x = dingle y = gorilla z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name: a = butt b = boob c = face d = nose e = hump f = breath g = pants h = shorts i = lips j = honker k = head l = tush m = chunks n = dunkin o = brains p = biscui ts q = toes r = doodle s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles v = frack w = squirt x = humperdinck y = hiney z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

And I am Sloopy Wafflechunks

I am Sleezy Bucklebrains

Hell, figures I'd be something edible.
Crusty Chicken.

In my case, I'd change the rules.

Hi, Crusty Frickenbutt here. I do say fricken' a lot, but the crusty butt part, not really me!

Farcus Frickenfanny?!

I'd rather be Slappy, the Happiest Clown. Or the candy colored clown they call, "Smothery McSleep"

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

If I had to be a clown at a kids party, I'd use the name "John Wayne Gacy".

Then hand out books about serial killers.

MIB

Bugger that, I'd turn up as The Child Catcher from Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang. Scariest freaking thing in the world.

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

These are all so funny; I had to laugh out loud!

Disgruntles
Sassy
Gingerbread
Scabs
Shakes
IT
Molesto
Slappy, the Happiest Clown
Smothery McSleep
The Child Catcher

And anything that is billed as "the Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies" is a movie that automatically goes on my must-see list! Thanks! --Dipsy Farklehump

Boobie Gorillaboob!? Too weird.

Molesto from Modesto (snicker)

For your consideration:
Carnivore the Carnival Clown.

[Stephen King's Pennywise the clown had a lasting effect on me.]

I'm surprised nobody suggested it yet:

Gacy the clown. Unlike Pennywise, he was real which makes him even scarier.

"Would you like to try on these handcuffs, little boy?"

*boards the bus to hell*

Even though I am scared of clowns, like I already said, I actually like Pennywise. And Krusty.

I would be Sloopy Dippindoodle.