"We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 18, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
Quote
Here’s my diagnosis. Over the past three decades, there has been a massive transfer of authority from parents to kids. Along with that transfer of authority has come a change in the valuation of kids’ opinions and preferences. In many families, what kids think and what kids like and what kids want now matters as much, or more, than what their parents think and like and want. “Let kids decide” has become a mantra of good parenting. As I will show, these well-intentioned changes have been profoundly harmful to kids.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 18, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,844 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 18, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 606 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 18, 2016 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
Quote
Article
When I asked Tammy why she and her husband allowed their 8-year-old daughter to have the final say, Tammy answered, “I think good parenting means letting kids decide. That’s how kids learn, right? If I make all the decisions for her, how will she ever learn to decide on her own? And if I force her to go to a school that wasn’t her first choice, what can I say if she complains about the school later?”
Quote
Here’s what’s weird. We parents are spending more and more time and money on parenting, but when you look at the results, things are getting worse, not better. American kids are now much more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD or bipolar disorder or other psychiatric disorders than they were 25 years ago, and they are heavier and less fit than they were 25 years ago. Long-term outcome studies suggest that American kids are now less resilient and more fragile than they used to be.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 18, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
Quote
Dorisan
Soft, sheep-like creatures. Easily lead by whatever strong arm or media creature appears most popular. In fact, I think it's already starting. Look at Donald Trump's poll numbers
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 18, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,842 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 19, 2016 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,982 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 19, 2016 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 71 |
Quote
Cambion
I do think it's good for kids to question things, but they must understand that their parents are in charge and make the rules. Parents now are so fucking scared of their kids hating them that they'll throw actual parenting to the wind all so their widdle dumplings won't ever have to have a sad. Then those same kids usually grow up to be out of control, narcissistic, violent or just overall fucked up because they had no structure and were not held to any standards. They don't know how to act, and once they hit a certain age, the damage becomes irreversible and that child will become a fully-grown blight on society.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 19, 2016 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 353 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 20, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
Quote
Cambion
It can be okay to give a child choices sometimes (often when they're older), but a vast majority of the time, parents need to be the ones making choices for the kids... and telling them how shit's gonna be, not asking them to do things.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 20, 2016 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,982 |
Quote
ondinette
It pisses me off to see a parent pleading with their nasty brat to behave instead of telling it. But teaching proper behavior is a different thing than not allowing your kid to be the person they are. It seems most parents can't find the middle ground.
Quote
yurble
I'm okay with giving kids choices before they have become fully rational, provided those choices will teach them about consequences and the consequences in question will affect the child and not others, and only in the short-term.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 20, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
Quote
Dorisan
Oy, what a future. These are the people raising the generation who they brag will be wiping our asses and running the world?
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 20, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,844 |
Quote
blondie
Quote
Dorisan
Oy, what a future. These are the people raising the generation who they brag will be wiping our asses and running the world?
Don't think so. I have been hearing some ideas from some teens and young adults about what to do with the elder population. One is to make assisted suicide available to anyone seventy five and older, and encourage it. Then there was the young man who said he did not want to live past fifty five, and the young woman who saw fifty five as an appropriate end of life as well. I do wonder what she thinks about the presidential candidates being so far beyond the end years. The young people certainly seem to like Sanders, the old codger of the race.
I was young once too but I never saw older people as less than, or wanting them to die. I can't help but think of the above people as sociopaths regardless of their age and immaturity. They present themselves as informed and educated otherwise, they just think older people are expendable and a waste.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 20, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,978 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 20, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,760 |
Quote
mumofsixbirds
That reminds me of my incredibly creepy, narcissistic, eldest nephew. I have three of them, and he, by far, is the worst. He told my mother, his grandmother, that they will start to euthanize old people very soon...and that she would be one of them. She got very angry at him and told him off. He is a raging ageist, thinks that older people have no place in society. He's now in his forties. I wonder what he's thinking will happen when HE reaches his golden years? I told my mother not in her lifetime, but maybe in his...
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 20, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
Quote
blondie
Don't think so. I have been hearing some ideas from some teens and young adults about what to do with the elder population. One is to make assisted suicide available to anyone seventy five and older, and encourage it. Then there was the young man who said he did not want to live past fifty five, and the young woman who saw fifty five as an appropriate end of life as well. I do wonder what she thinks about the presidential candidates being so far beyond the end years. The young people certainly seem to like Sanders, the old codger of the race.
I was young once too but I never saw older people as less than, or wanting them to die. I can't help but think of the above people as sociopaths regardless of their age and immaturity. They present themselves as informed and educated otherwise, they just think older people are expendable and a waste.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 21, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
Quote
StudioFiftyFour
Keep in mind you've got a fairly large percentage of people between 20-35 who are unemployed, underemployed, and in massive college debt. They feel like they've been sold a lie, the "American Dream" has not been fulfilled for them, and they see their aging Baby Boomer parents living a lifestyle that is far beyond what they will ever live.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 21, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
Quote
yurble
I do think there's some justifiable frustration about the world that they're getting stuck with, the world that they didn't create. But I also think only those who are intellectually lazy or stupid will jump to the idea of killing off their parents in revenge. If they feel helpless and unable to control events can they really imagine the average older person actively chose the policies that brought us where we are today? The people who brought us here will never be the ones to suffer.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 21, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 21, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 21, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,646 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 21, 2016 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,846 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 21, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,716 |
Quote
twocents
I think parents are just lazy.
I will try and avoid lines in stores that contain a sow and crotchturd.
I was in my local Petsmart on line, I was leaning on the belt on the edge because I am overweight and it helps take my weight off my feet. I don't stand well. Some sow in front of me was almost done, had some small male bugger.
At one point something really started shoving on my legs; I look down and the crotch turd is trying to shove past me and the goods belt. I just wouldn't move but the fucker wouldn't quit shoving so I started saying 'no'. Said it several times. Sow starts mooing 'some people are just rude', fucker looks up and says 'why?'. I said 'I don't owe you an explanation'. I am actually in a rather amused frame of mind. Moo continues on in veain and says 'he's only 2 1/2', whereupon the bugger actually said something I thought was funny..."No, I'm three". I simply stated the prisons are full of people who did not understand the meaning of the word 'no'. I think this really pissed her off because I was grinning by this time. Finally exits, no one else says a word. She drove past in a brand new volkswagon beetle convertible and blows horn, so I just flipped her off.
I just hope I don't have to look over my shoulder.
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 21, 2016 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 353 |
Re: "We spend more time and money on parenting than ever — but we are getting worse" January 22, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,716 |
Quote
ondinette
Cambion,
I have noticed the same thing. Parents have either impossibly high expectations or no expectations whatsoever. The latter is much more popular now, but both produce messed up adults.
I am from generation X , and I feel royally screwed by the system, so it's not just young people. Growing up I was told the American dream would be mine if I got good grades, stayed out of trouble, and went to college. I did all that, but when it was time for the rest of the world to deliver suddenly the rules were different and nothing I had done was good enough. I picked a "sensible" major and have never been the partying type,but it didn't matter. I still had tons of trouble getting and staying employed. I don't think intergenerational warfare will solve anything, but more than one generation has been lied to about the future. Or am I unusual? Have other gen-xers had the same problem?