Tired Trope #344,765: Bring your ankle-biter to the rock concert

I want to preface this by saying I have no issues with preteen or teen kids going to metal/punk/alternative concerts, especially when said kids express a strong like for such music. I'd much rather see young people listening to Anthrax or The Misfits than the garbage on Top 40 radio. I do, however, have a major issue with people bringing their under-5 kids to concerts of this type for many reasons, which I will highlight below.

What brought on this whole rant was my trip to Asbury Park, NJ with a few friends last weekend for Punk Rock Bowling. This was a 2-day outdoor festival that featured many iconic punk bands like The Descendents and Flag (the latest version of Black Flag).

Several breeders in attendance had toddlers/preschool age kids with them. Yes, it was an all-ages event, but there was also a lot of drinking going on. I witnessed some dude chasing around a tiny kid in the bar area trying to put headphones on him. Later, I was trying to get up front, and I got clipped on the back of the ankle. I looked behind me to see a 3 or 4-year-old girl with two adult women. They had a "circle pit" going on and I guess the moo wanted everyone to look at how cyooot they were. Of course, cell phone pics were being taken in droves, which probably ended up on social media. "Ooh, look at these cool pahrunts"!

Lurking breeders, is it really a good idea to bring tiny children to a concert with rowdy, drunken punks everywhere? Do you expect people to censor their language and behavior? I'm a wicked, horrible CF person, and I know better than to drag a toddler to a loud, scary, crowded concert. Someone could knock into your kid, or your kid could get lost in a big crowd. I also know from being a teacher, that young kids like that don't have long attention spans. Let's not even start about their sensitive ears. My Kindergarten and First-Grade general music students cover their ears if too many students are playing rhythm sticks at once, so I can't imagine what full stacks and drums must sound like to a 2 year old. If you want to play metal or punk records for them at home, that's fine. I don't have a problem with the content of these songs, because I'm no prude. I just don't want to see some kid being hurt because of parental stupidity.

I know this wasn't a unique occurrence. A few weeks ago, this video of a toddler at the Maryland Deathfest went viral. Everyone was like "oh this is so cool, blah, blah blah"...I just rolled my eyes.

Am I supposed to watch out for free range toddlers at concerts now? What ever happened to letting kids decide what they like and taking them to age-appropriate events.

I'm so glad I have this board to rant on, because I know I would be roasted as an ebil kyd-haaatter if I wrote about this on Facebook.

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You were spot on about everything. If their kids are in their teens and are into the music, by all means, bring them. If they're being dragged there to fend for themselves and so their parents can feel "cool" again, while expecting the other concert goers to take partial responsibility for their spawn, they should stay at home and listen to records.

If parents want to drag their brats to concerts, then they'd better be prepared for the inevitable bullshit that will happen to them: getting lost in crowds, getting stepped on by people who are too busy watching the concert rather than looking down at the ground for free-range children, someone possibly sneaking kids booze because it'll be funny to see a kid drunk, and of course the kids possibly being scared shitless by the loud noises, people screaming and Mommy being nowhere in sight.

Why's there not an age limit on concerts? The more hardcore ones anyway - if you want to bring your toddler to Polkas in the Park, then that's fine. But a metal concert? Why can there not be a 13+ age limit? Teens are stupid, but they'll be okay at a concert. Toddlers or pre-schoolers? Nopes all around. They will get lost or trampled, and then Moo will sue the band and/or the venue for any injuries her pweshus sustains because she was too fuckin' dumb to leave the brat at home or accept the fact that she can't run off to concerts as if she has no responsibilities and let the crowd brat-sit.

If I go to a concert, it's because I want to enjoy the fuckin' concert, not because I want to try and not trip over some cunt's crotch turd in a mosh pit (it's hard enough to stay standing when you're trying to not trip over the adults).

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LucyTrainWreck
Am I supposed to watch out for free range toddlers at concerts now?

If by "watch out" you mean alter your behavior in any way because there are children present, no, you're not. Fuck them and fuck their stupid parents and behave as if you were at a concert, because you are, and because other people's kids are Not Your Problem. If the parents don't like what their kids are experiencing, then they can hire a fucking babysitter.

Bringing your crotchfruit = a good way to snag a spot in the first row, in my experience. You wouldn't want to be mean and NOT let that nice moo with a cute chyyyyld in front of you, now would you? (Actually, yes. Yes, I would. You want a good spot? Come early and wait, just like everyone else. I will usually let a shorter person stand in front of me if I'm blocking their view - assuming they ask nicely - but this is a matter of principle.)

That aside, everything written above is 100% true. Your 6 YO may enjoy their Cannibal Corpse (which I doubt), but there's no good reason you should take it to such a rowdy event. If it got hurt in a moshpit, I'm willing to bet it would be everyone else's fault.

As far as I know, rock and metal gigs are usually 13+ here in Sweden* (correct me if I'm wrong), but that limit is either only for unaccompanied children or not enforced well at all, since I've seen people bring small children along multiple times.

* This can depend on the venue, some of them only allow 18+.

I don't have low self-esteem. That's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.
-Daria

Breeders don't bring their young kids to concerts because they want to share the music with their spawn. They do it because they people to fawn over them and shuffle them to the front of every crowd or line they encounter.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

Too lazy to get a babysitter. The obvious solution is for businesses to charge the same price for children and adults, if both will be using the same service - none of that children for free nonsense. This would also solve the problem of children on airplanes, children in movie theaters, and so on.

@yurble

THIS!! Whenever people complain about babies screaming in restaurants, kids kicking the seats on planes, or anything else, the cows say that "Kyds r peeple too!!! They have riiiights! They have the right to be in a movie theater / bar / plane / restaurant / music festival too!!"

Fine then. If we give them the right to go everywhere and do anything, we charge them for that right, the same amount that we charge adults.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

Generally they do pay full price for a kid to go to a concert. Parents are willing to pay it, even in the hundreds of dollars.

IMO, the day of old school rock and punk music is just, over, at least what it was created to represent. It's all nostalgia now. The performers don't care and just need the money and the vibe is gone. Kids crawl all over the place, security is in your face, people are jerks with the cell phones and generally act like assholes.

This seems to happen to everything that was once cool and then gets older, especially when people drive up in their moo-vans and unload their kindersprog to go to a punk show. It's so over. I'm out.

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awesominatrix
Bringing your crotchfruit = a good way to snag a spot in the first row, in my experience. You wouldn't want to be mean and NOT let that nice moo with a cute chyyyyld in front of you, now would you? (Actually, yes. Yes, I would. You want a good spot? Come early and wait, just like everyone else. I will usually let a shorter person stand in front of me if I'm blocking their view - assuming they ask nicely - but this is a matter of principle.)

That aside, everything written above is 100% true. Your 6 YO may enjoy their Cannibal Corpse (which I doubt), but there's no good reason you should take it to such a rowdy event. If it got hurt in a moshpit, I'm willing to bet it would be everyone else's fault.

As far as I know, rock and metal gigs are usually 13+ here in Sweden* (correct me if I'm wrong), but that limit is either only for unaccompanied children or not enforced well at all, since I've seen people bring small children along multiple times.

* This can depend on the venue, some of them only allow 18+.

I'm a diehard Chicago Blackhawks fan, when they won the cup last year, I got up early to go downtown for the victory parade. Some breeder tried to worm her way in with her brat, I spread myself out and didn't let moo through. She could've gotten up early, like I did. Not one fuck was given. I got there early and staked out my spot. Moo wasn't happy and shortly left with her brat. Victory.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

Don't these people realize the danger that they're putting their child into by bring them into a concert?

The line of separation between adult and kid activities is pretty much obliterated. About 10 years ago I went to a party, complete with food and lots of alcohol. Kids, big and small were running around, completely unleashed and unsupervised and may have been drinking the beer and liquor. Their parents were the most oblivious and drunk people at the party. Shocking.

Once upon a time when kids showed up at an all adult function all the adults would groan. The foolish parent would turn red and apologize for the brief interruption and quickly get the hell out of there. The kids were perfectly behaved and didn't let out a peep because they knew they'd be in trouble and banished from adult land until they hit adulthood.

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freya
The line of separation between adult and kid activities is pretty much obliterated. About 10 years ago I went to a party, complete with food and lots of alcohol. Kids, big and small were running around, completely unleashed and unsupervised and may have been drinking the beer and liquor. Their parents were the most oblivious and drunk people at the party. Shocking.

Once upon a time when kids showed up at an all adult function all the adults would groan. The foolish parent would turn red and apologize for the brief interruption and quickly get the hell out of there. The kids were perfectly behaved and didn't let out a peep because they knew they'd be in trouble and banished from adult land until they hit adulthood.

Also now days breeders would sue the pants off of someome, if their sprongling have gotten drunk.

Last year I went to a really hardcore punk concert, the type with so much moshing and crowd-surfing that security had to keep fishing people out, and the idiot breeders in front of me had dragged along their toadler. They dumped waited for the kyd (who miraculously didn't go deaf) to pass out in Duh's arms, then dumped him on a nearby bench and went to enjoy the concert with their backs turned. Kyd finally woke up and started screaming bloody murder. Served Moo and Duh right that the screamer forced them into leaving early.

They probably expect you to babysit their toadler.

from the kids point of view: imagine at that age waking up and no parent...
stupid parunts

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.