Need to vent--friend turns geezer-breeder

I just found out via FB that a male friend I've been crushing on for awhile is going to be a duh in a few months. He and his wife of two years are both 43, and I wouldn't have guessed they were planning on following the LifeScript. They seemed really fun-loving and eccentric, enjoy traveling, active in politics, etc. So much for all that! In four months they welcome a boy sprog. I wished them a polite "congratulations," but only because I felt I should.

This really isn't my business, of course, but dammit! I feel pissed off about this. Thought that maybe friend and his wife would be cool just by themselves; who the f*ck wants to start having kyds in their forties? How to screw up your life, indeed. And I wish I didn't have this infatuation, especially since I'm married. Why the hell do I care?

On the plus side, your infatuation will shrivel up and die.

Well, yes, that's a good thing! I'm sure sleepless nights with a newborn will make him a bit less interesting.

Was he an engineer? This woman might have been putting on the "fun-loving" act to grab him, and now is getting her MRS degree.

Quote
cj
I just found out via FB that a male friend I've been crushing on for awhile is going to be a duh in a few months. He and his wife of two years are both 43, and I wouldn't have guessed they were planning on following the LifeScript. They seemed really fun-loving and eccentric, enjoy traveling, active in politics, etc. So much for all that! In four months they welcome a boy sprog. I wished them a polite "congratulations," but only because I felt I should.

This really isn't my business, of course, but dammit! I feel pissed off about this. Thought that maybe friend and his wife would be cool just by themselves; who the f*ck wants to start having kyds in their forties? How to screw up your life, indeed. And I wish I didn't have this infatuation, especially since I'm married. Why the hell do I care?

You have the right to your own feelings but I don't see any logical reason for you to take such a personal interest in it. You won't be the one dealing with the repercussions. I do, however, think it's fair to ask...

Isn't it kind of risky to be having a kid at age 43?

Even if the kid is completely healthy, I'm curious what their feelings will be regarding having an 18 year old at age 61. Will they be eager to help him with the college tuition costs? Or will they want to retire?

Is it possible that this is yet another case of people doing what "seemed like a good idea at the time..." but isn't so great for the long-term?

My friend is in state politics, in the legislature almost ten years. He has a Master's in Public Administration, so he's not stupid by any means. I'm not sure what degree his wife has, but she seems fairly smart too. Maybe they want to present a "family" image to the voters, but it hardly seems necessary as he's in a "safe" district and had no trouble getting elected when he was single. Unless he has higher ambitions than just the legislature...who knows. Maybe it's just that everybody else does it.

Having a kyd at 43 is risky, no matter what celebrity types do. The risk for Down's especially increases after age 40, probably autism too. Fun fact: my parents were in their 40's when I was born, and I have a number of health issues likely caused by older eggs etc. In Mom and Dad's defense, though, I was kyd number five, not their first. But back in the 60's, the technology didn't exist to help make having babbies easier for the 40+crowd who put off childbearing. And nobody thought it was a great idea to start a famblee at that age.

You're right, S54, I really shouldn't give a damn what they do.

Quote
cj
My friend is in state politics, in the legislature almost ten years. He has a Master's in Public Administration, so he's not stupid by any means. I'm not sure what degree his wife has, but she seems fairly smart too. Maybe they want to present a "family" image to the voters, but it hardly seems necessary as he's in a "safe" district and had no trouble getting elected when he was single. Unless he has higher ambitions than just the legislature...who knows. Maybe it's just that everybody else does it.. ...

You're right, S54, I really shouldn't give a damn what they do.

Even if he has higher political ambitions he is late to the breeding game and I don't think that having a small child to care for will make any appreciable positive difference in a campaign.


If people want to chase toddlers around in their 40s, deal with teenage rebellion in their 60s, and spend their senior years working their asses off to pay for college costs, well, whatever. I guess some people really do think "it's all worth it...". Why do they believe this? I have no idea. The thought of that kind of life trajectory sounds like a horrible fucking nightmare.

Is it possible that is the reason why you care? For me I wouldn't want someone who I cared about to take such a reckless and dead-end path. What say you?

Quote
StudioFiftyFour
If people want to chase toddlers around in their 40s, deal with teenage rebellion in their 60s, and spend their senior years working their asses off to pay for college costs, well, whatever. I guess some people really do think "it's all worth it...". Why do they believe this? I have no idea. The thought of that kind of life trajectory sounds like a horrible fucking nightmare.

Is it possible that is the reason why you care? For me I wouldn't want someone who I cared about to take such a reckless and dead-end path. What say you?

My thoughts are similar. I've been annoyed by similar things before. It wore off quickly because the people in question got a whole lot less interesting within the span of a year or two, though.

And yep, nothing makes a guy seem less attractive than a screaming child and/or a mini-van/SUV.