Well... we knew it was going to happen (Neph and Harp stuff)

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contemplativeintrovert
That could be your out. Tell nephew and the bitch you don't think loaf should travel while sick. Too bad, you'll have to reschedule for "some other time," sometime beteeen now and never.

They're not coming for 6 weeks. (easter monday) Dh hasn't even asked them yet. Ofcouse... the kyd could be sick again by then. Those tiny lungs being exposed to that dirty mess. Idiots! I asked dh last night... "Why not tell nephew that he needs to clean that house or his kyd is gonna die"
He answered "Hummm... maybe I should"
Oh I wish he would.

Reading this makes me thankful I live far away from DH's family. I'm also happy there are no loaves at the moment. It gives me not-so-secret glee to hear my in-laws, who are in decent health, bemoan the lack of great grand babies, since it's not enough to have 20+ grandbrats. And I'm outright grateful that the eldest of the grandbrats, convicted felon and all, appears to be sterile due to a childhood illness. (Perhaps there is a higher power after all!)

If I were in your shoes I would remind DH that I do not like Harpi and I'm not required to have a relationship with them anyway. They are his family, not yours. But it sounds as if your DH is like mine.....he WANTS me to be with him on these tedious excursions to see his family. (I don't even like my own family that much and to me vacation and family don't belong anywhere close together.) So I go on two outings per year with limits that include: HOTEL ROOM, as I need my space, and equal couple time. We spend three nights in hellhole Bumble fuck town? Three nights at the resort of my choice.

I would go back to the restaurant idea, but if he wants them to come to your house, I would state your concerns and your DH must find a way to accommodate them, such as: diaper disposal, protection of your stuff and dogs, you spend limited time with them with a defined exit time.

Only you know if this is ground worth conceding and whether it will lead to more visits and a slippery slope. Compromise only if your needs are taken care of. And get something else in return. That's how the world works, right? If we are in relationships worth keeping, sometimes we aren't spending our time in an ideal way. Make it work for you and get some concessions.

My mantra with DH is, "well, that would be a great idea if you were the only person to consider, right?" It has to work for me too.

My partner and I established boundaries for how you wish our life to be now and in the future.
My partner does not require any interactions nor accommodation for his asshole relatives.
They do not enter my home and we avoid them completely.
It is much easier to just say no than to struggle and stress over many accommodations for people who not deserve it.
We have peaceful lives with only supportive healthy people invited in.

My friends are more of a family then my real one. After my parents died.. they all suddenly dissappeared.
Strange.
But I have great friends... thank goodness

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starlady

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contemplativeintrovert
That could be your out. Tell nephew and the bitch you don't think loaf should travel while sick. Too bad, you'll have to reschedule for "some other time," sometime beteeen now and never.

They're not coming for 6 weeks. (easter monday) Dh hasn't even asked them yet. .

Ah, duh, you said that. My bad {where is the nervous embarrassed emoji?} Sorry. I do remember you saying that but then you said loaf was sick and the opportunist in me latched into that and forgot the rest. It's good that he hasn't asked yet. I'd work on him first, to see if you can't get him to not invite them. Hopefully he will change his mind, or something will come up and they won't be able to. This might be sneaky but another thing you could do is contact some relatives closer to harpy and say something about how she is lonely or whatever and they should invite her up for Easter.

Is it rude? Maybe. People have done stuff like that to me, "so and so is lonely, can they go out with us?" Rude or not, you are not obligated to spend time with other people's relatives, full stop.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

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My partner and I established boundaries for how you wish our life to be now and in the future.
My partner does not require any interactions nor accommodation for his asshole relatives.
They do not enter my home and we avoid them completely.
It is much easier to just say no than to struggle and stress over many accommodations for people who not deserve it.
We have peaceful lives with only supportive healthy people invited in.

It's easy when both partners agree In your case, it sounds like your partner is okay with avoiding his relatives.

My only thought about inviting them over to show them what they'll never have is that it could backfire. They could see how nice you have it (compared to them) and then decide to ramp up the begging because they think you can afford it.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

Well.. we have been doing well for many years now and our other home was bigger than this one. (we downsized) They saw that one several times and nephew even lived with us for a while. They're not going to learn anything new by visiting.

Dh has not mentioned it now for several days.... so... we'll just see what happens. I am going to make my Spring plans and not worry about it.

I asked dh if Neph and Harpi were asking us to meet the kyd.. and he said that they hadnt' mentioned it. So I guess it's just his own guilt over it and that he wants to keep in good with the Nephew and not make him mad. I know Nephew... he doesn't care. He lives in his own little bubble and he also knows (from conversations he and I had when he lived with us) I am NOT a kyd person.