What would you all do with kindercrap?

I know all of you Child-Free People would rather eat your own shorts than live next door to 'the Mc Breedersons', but here's something for you: a Hypothetical Situation. You have no choice but to live next door to the typical breeder McMansion, complete with two or more S-MOO-V's in the garage and a yard filled to the brim with KINDERCRAP; you know, the horrible, brightly colored, garish toys that little Bratina and Shitley whined to Moomie for.

So long as that disgusting rubbish stays over on the Breeder's side of the fence, you tolerate it... barely. But one day, you come home after a hard working day, to find that one or more items of that vile kindercrap have somehow been 'relocated' into your nice, clean front yard, or driveway... ARRRGGGHH! Do you:

1. Return the items of kindercrap to the Breeder's Brats, in the vain hope that it won't be 'relocated' into your yard again.

2. Place the items of kindercrap into a special 'Lost and Found' box which you keep in your Garage. If no brats turn up to ask you for their crap, you take said 'Lost and Found' box to the thrift shop and SELL IT ALL!!!

3. Quietly burn the kindercrap in a home incinerator in your backyard.

4. Dance skyclad around a massive, kinder-crap fueled fire in your front yard whilst chanting the arcane words of a Breeder/Brat Warding Ritual!

Kindercrap, you say? LOTS of it? Strewn about randomly?

Obviously the McBreedersons aren't very good at looking after their stuff. Why not give the little yard apes some "presents," deposited directly into their yard? A vibrator, some naughty magazines and artfully strewn small shards of broken glass could work.

You could even leave a prize for the moo and duhdie to find, in the form of a box of condoms. Nice and tactful.

Any kindercrap that wound up in my yard would be immediately sold to thrift stores. And if any angry breeders came around, I would sweetly say, "Oh, I figured that since it was just laying around, you obviously didn't want it anymore. I donated it all to charity so that the poor starving orphans in India could have a happy Christmas."

Depends. If they're generally polite but clueless, I'd return it. If not, I'd throw it out the window while driving along a lonely county road one night.

I had such a bad rapport with my neighbors because of my complaining about their loud kyds and barking dogs that they were pretty careful to keep their junk out of my yard. Hypothetically though, I would have just tossed it back into their yard unless it got constant and ridiculous. Then I would have just added a PPS to the next note I taped onto their doors about their dogs, or complained on their voice mail when I called to complain about the barking dogs or their kyds using my yard as a fifty yard line or balls smacking into my windows. If that didn't clear it up, I would put it in the dumpster, much like I wished I could have put their bodies in, at the time.

Meh, we do live next to a yard full of hula hoops, balls, plasti-crap tables and playsets, and so forth. But our neighbors are nice, and the stuff never migrates over. Our dogs are quiet and pretty mellow, but I understand that even dogs who mostly like to flop in the sun all day (and who OCCASIONALLY bark) can be as much of an irritation to non-dog people as is the sight of a toy-strewn yard, so I call it even. Live and let live.

The chain link fence dividing said yards makes ALL the difference!

I do have to admit, once when the basketball of the screaming breeder famblee who lives behind us and over one house rolled down into our yard, I went out at night and stabbed a big hole in it, then threw it away.

These people are rude, nasty, ignorant, selfish people who, in the summer with their pool, behave like they are out in the middle of 500 acres. Their 3 girls scream, they don't know how to talk, week night pool parties 'til 1 am with screaming high school kids, parents with friends over on week nights until 3 am, total disregard for anybody around them.

Other than this, (knock wood) we are very fortunate with the neighborhood. Let's hope it stays this way.

I have a neighbor who has an in home daycare right beside of me. At the end of the day when her older daughters get home from school they take the kids outside to play, usually some sort of horrid ball game. For a while, every day between 3:30 and 6:00, I would have at least one kid knock on the door to ask if I could get their ball from behind my back fence. I would usually get it without complaint. Until one day a particularly annoying boy came to my door for the 3rd time for me to get his ball. I went out back and told him it was no where to be found. I stabbed that fucker with a steak knife and threw it in my trashcan, the ball, I mean! Since then I haven't had too many ball problems.

Again, for me it would depend on the situation. If the neighbors were generally polite and respectful, I'm just return it and ask them nicely to keep their stuff contained to their own yard. If they were rude or beligerent to begin with, or they turned that way after I nicely asked them to respect my property boundries, then off to Goodwill with the kindercrap. It would be helping out a kid who actually needs it, and I'd get a tax deduction to boot.

And of course, if at all possible I'd fence off my property ASAP. Not a complete solution, but I would think it would slow the flow of the kindercrap.

There is a mega breeder fambleee across the street from me, they are a very young couple, they have 5 kids, one is a tard. they have crap all over their front yard, once in a while a ball will roll onto my front yard, i just toss it back to their yard, no biggie

I'd send my imaginary friend, "Alternative Ninja" over to their house to reason with them.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Set it out for trash collection. They'd get the hint. Maybe.

I live next door to the McBreedersons, and I have an expensive kindercrap story. On Sept. 14, my area was hit with a horrible wind storm (part of the hurricane). McBreederson's backyard trampoline came sailing into my yard, and took out my air conditioning compressor ($4500). Both my homeowner's insurance company and their's, say it is to be covered under my homeowner's policy. WTF?!!! After all, it was an act of GAWD, and they had no contol over Sproglina's shit flying into my air conditioner. My deductible is $500, and after speaking with 3 attorneys, I have found out that my chances of recovering the deductible in small claims court are approximately zero.

Mrs. McBreederson admitted to finding the trampoline four yards down, but didn't realize it had hit our AC until DH pointed it out. By the time we noticed it, they had strapped it to their deck. Why couldn't they have done this in the first place? We had ample warning with weather reports that we were going to have high winds, and they were home all day. Mr. McBreederson just stood there looking stupid and pissed off that moo had made the admission.

Aside from the welfare whores, this is just another example of how other people's failed birth control costs the innocent tax payer out the ass. BTW, this bitch just shit out number 3 about a month ago.

Too bad it didn't land in your yard and stay there. You could have cut it up with a knife and said "Aww, shucks! I couldn't find any other way to get [the act of gawd] untangled from the machinery."

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

poofy_puff Wrote:
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> Too bad it didn't land in your yard and stay
> there. You could have cut it up with a knife and
> said "Aww, shucks! I couldn't find any other way
> to get untangled from the machinery."


I doubly agree. It's a slap in the face that you are out $500 AND the bastards get to keep the trampoline. I'd sneak over there when Mr Mcbreederson was out catting around and Mrs Breederson was busy with a latchling, and sever the springs from the rubber with one of those welding torches. Then for good measure I'd pour a sulfuric acid type compound into the middle of it, which any good household Draino type product probably contains. They would NOT be jumping on THAT trampoline and rubbing my nose in it. The neighborly and fair thing for them to have done would have been to pay for half of the deductible. A good set up to the crime, which would insure you looked innocent, would be to casually mention over the fence one day that someone vandalized your garden hose with acid, or something, and did he see any suspicious characters around last Wednesday?

Lay in wait a week or so, bide your time, be extra friendly, and then strike wihout warning. I would do it in a heart beat as they richly deserve it. I have been pushed in the past with my asshole neighbors and I have done shit to their property in retaliation to their kyds and dog's destruction of MY property and ruining MY peace of mind, and I was never caught. I perpetrated 7 intentional and specific acts of vandalism against my next door neighbors in a 3 year time period, but was never considered a suspect. I just stood there going, 'OMG! Who would DO such a thing???", as they picked up pieces of a homemade skateboard ramp off the sidewalk which "someone" had smashed with a sledge hammer. It was never anything very costly, but it made me feel better. A hole in a pool liner, a run over mailbox, a rock through an enclosed patio panel, a broken privacy fence slat etc.....and the occasional crimes of inconvenience like air let out of tires, missing porch light bulbs, or notices put on doors about trash pickup changing that week vanishing from their doors. Those bastards wouldn't own up to smashing one of my storm windows with a football which cost $300 to replace and the only reason I had JUST bought them was to buffer their fucking noise. They ALSO wouldn't own up to the HUGE scratch on my car door which looked JUST like a handle bar scratch, and their kyds were ALWAYS on my driveway with their damned bikes. That had to be filled, repainted to match, and buffed out at the tune of $500. That doesn't even BEGIN to cover the expense of the anti-barking devices, expensive insulation to drown out their noise, NEW double insulated storm windows/doors on SIX windows and two doors. I won't even start on the sleep deprivation or the pain and sufferring.

Sometimes, over a period of time, shitty neighbors can push otherwise nice and normal people over the edge. I never would have imagined myself capable of willful destruction of private property, but they wore me down and pushed me over the edge after about 2 years of their shit where I did nothing but get ulcers, cry and BEG them to STFU and stay off my property.

I'd sneak over there when Mr Mcbreederson was out catting around and Mrs Breederson was busy with a latchling, and sever the springs from the rubber with one of those welding torches. Then for good measure I'd pour a sulfuric acid type compound into the middle of it, which any good household Draino type product probably contains. They would NOT be jumping on THAT trampoline and rubbing my nose in it. The neighborly and fair thing for them to have done would have been to pay for half of the deductible. A good set up to the crime, which would insure you looked innocent, would be to casually mention over the fence one day that someone vandalized your garden hose with acid, or something, and did he see any suspicious characters around last Wednesday?

Kidlesskim, and I mean this in all sincerity, you make my world a happier place, and the world in my opinion needs more people like you. (rummages under sink for Draino)

LOL, thanks Clematis. It "took a village" to make me this way and give me the incentive do these types of things, because I used to be somewhat closer to normal. The type of attitude I now have is something that's cultivated, nourished, and nurtured by living in close proximity to assholes over a period of years. This is the first time I have disclosed my crimes to anyone as the statutes of limitations have long run out and I SERIOUSLY doubt that any members on here were those breederific neighbors who I punished. :spin

Yes....well, those dastardly acid-wielding garden hose vandals are a bit thin on the ground in my region, so I might have to dream up a more convincing scenario for my breederific neighbors, but aside from that, I'm filing away your plan for likely future use...thanks!

kidlesskim Wrote:
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> This is the first time I have disclosed my
> crimes to anyone as the statutes of limitations
> have long run out and I SERIOUSLY doubt that any
> members on here were those breederific neighbors
> who I punished. :spin


Crimes? You call those cute little things you did crimes? I call them a public service.

I just wrote Draino on my shopping list.

(researches on E-Trade)

Hmm, Draino is made by S. C. Johnson & co...privately held company with no public stock options.

Drat. There goes my CF investment

(researches on E-Trade)

Hmm, Draino is made by S. C. Johnson & co...privately held company with no public stock options.

Drat. There goes my CF investment.