Using Children

I am so tired of observing family and friends use their kids as ammo against the ex. I am also tired of mom's and grandma's pumping the grandkids , nieces, and nephews for information and ammo against the parents.
Some grown ups are just pathetic little kids emotionally and intellectually.

I've seen firsthand a male former friend dissing his female ex to his kid and heard of the female ex dissing the friend to the same kid. I felt sorry for the kid. He never asked to be brought into a trashy drama (parents were never married, lovely) and was a normal kid just trying to grow up. Mom was neurotic and tried to classify him as developmentally delayed, &c.--he was normal. Dad was terminally disorganized and did nothing to keep after the kid's school progress. Kid slipped through the cracks of his dysfunctional parents' stupidity. And I moved on to CF friends.

I am of the school of thought that parents should maintain a united front to their kyds whether they are living together and married or living seperately and divorced, although of course they rarely do. I have witnessed COUNTLESS people speak ill of their spouse, ex and current, to the kyds. Like has been mentioned, often mee maw and pee paw and other relatives pick sides on the battle ground as well which only makes it worse. Then I experienced it firsthand when I was married to a dickhead with a kyd. If ANYONE had anything bad to say about his whore of an ex wife, it would have been me, but I kept my mouth shut. The ex would run her fucking mouth all weekend long when she had her about me AND her ex, and I knew this because when she would come back home she would be withdrawn. Finally after a while she would tell me what was bothering her and spill the beans about what moomie had been saying. All it ever did was make her feel guilty, insecure, and confused.

Dickhead was no better. He constantly used every opportunity available to say nasty things about his ex, bring up things she had done in her past which is NO kyd's business, and berate her and sneak in little snide comments whenever he could. Naturally, he did the same thing about me when I up and left him, but fortunately by this time the girl was nearly grown and could differentiate truth from fiction. However, when she was young, those two would BOTH keep her perpetually upset and near tears at times with their shit. I tried reasoning with them and all I would get is, "She is MY child, she needs to know the truth!", and comments like those. See, she was "HER" child or "HIS" child, with that uppity, high and mighty tone that only a breeder can get as they say it, when they were using her to further their own selfish agenda.

I am not perfect and did my share of eye rolling and ugly comments within her earshot when I had been pushed, but I can say without a doubt that I never "used" that kyd to punish either of her parents, to make myself look better, or to get her "on my side". To do this to a child from an early age is very detrimental to their emotional health. If giving birth makes them so fucking "in tune" to their kyds, then why can't they see what they are doing? The reason is that their selfishness and narcissism WAY surpasses any love or compassion that they might feel for their child. Just another reason that I detest breeders.