Just wtf. This lady is iinsane. “I want people to know it’s not a beach float.” In the article she claims she tried swimming but she was “exhausted,” and she’d do all that work “for only an inch.” So much wrong with this. First of all, this could happen on any type of float, or even on surfboard, etc. This wouldn’t be specific to this float. I wonder if she will try to sue? Second of all, it was wind. She wasn’t caught in a riptide. She should have been paying attention. Unless it was a 90 mph wind, I doubt she was suddenly in the middle of the fucking ocean. She should have swam to shore when it started getting out of hand. Also, she was on a floatation device! Seriously. Get in the water, lay on your back, grab the swan so you won’t drown if you get fatigued and start kicking. Backstroke that bitch back to shore. Ask junior to help: This lady makes out like she’s in the same level of peril as Captain Phillips or people that are actually stranded miles out on a life raft.
Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.