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Sterilization, how to get it in pro-natalist environment

Sterilization, how to get it in pro-natalist environment
November 30, 2018
Hey everybody, this is the first topic I made, so if I made a mistake, please feel free to correct me.

The thing is, I could really use your help.
I finally want to get my sterilization done, but the docs here in germany are mostly pro-natalist, sexist, bingoing assholes - especially with young women like me.
So, I want to try my luck in bigger cities where the people even understand english (weirdly enough I can express myself better in english) and are maybe more open minded.
I composed this mail that I'm gonna send out to these places, and it would be awesome if you could read through it and maybe give me some pointers how to make it as convincing and argument-proof as possible.
Thanks a lot in advance!

Ok, here goes:

Dear [name of medical practice] team,

My name is [bastet], and I have a very important request in which I seek your assistance.

I have seen on your website, that you offer sterilization operations for women.

For several years now I have been searching for a medical practicioner, that would perform a sterilization on me,
but have always so far been confronted harshly and with a lot of discrimination and infantilization, based on sexism and my age, being below 30.
It made me disappointed, enraged, and depressed, that women like me were under such a societal peer pressure. This constant message of these doctors that I was "required" to like children and to want them, and to "change my mind"
even if I deeply and surely do not want to be a mother, made me question the neutrality, respect and helpfulness of this medical personel.

Never have my life choices been taken seriously by these radically pro-natalist german doctors,
and so far I have been rendered helpless as to where I can realize my valid and consious choice over my own body, and find a doctor who is willing to help me with said sterilization.

My life decision is strictly against children, as far back as I can remember this has been the case.
I find nothing but deep disgust and hatred for pregnancy, birth, children of all ages, motherhood, and family.
There has not been a single positive aspect I have experienced in socializing with children, even when I was a child myself. Therefore I am not under any circumstances willing to destroy and sacrifice my beloved free life for a child.
I am a freedom-loving misanthrope and an anti-natalist for as far as I can remember, for a variety of reasons. Among these reasons, not only being my deep aversion for children, but also the fact that I wouldn't want to introduce a human life into this awful, disease-ridden and unjust world and destroyed environment, even if I liked children (which is obviously not the case).

I cannot find any peace of mind with my body still having the intact biological function of producing children.
Only a successful sterilization with its non-reversable and final effectiveness would provide me the freedom I want, safety, happiness, peace of mind, and a fulfilling life experience. So far, I have never even remotely been able to enjoy sexuality, the fear of pregnancy being always in my mind and psychologically heavily crippling me, including panic attacks and depression, even when contraception was seemingly successful.

Just to pre-empt any of the phrases that I heard from other medical practicioners so far: I will never change my mind, and my radical decision against children is final, it has always been there in my lifetime, and only got stronger as I saw all aquaintances around me having children. My disgust only deepened, and I knew, that being childfree is the right, and only right decision for me.

So to be entirely honest, and prove my seriousness, I will say that I would regretlessly choose an abortion over pregnancy any day. And if an abortion were denied to me, I would not hesitate to commit suicide.
To me, a life irreversibly burdened with a child is not worth living for, regardless the circumstance.

In the past, I have also immediately and without regret broken up relationships with men, who seemed perfect, sometimes even proposing marriage, but turned out wanting children. This showing once more, that nothing is able to
change my mind on this matter, or even slightly outweight the terrible havoc a child would reek on my physical and mental health.

I dearly hope, that this mail pointed out the sincerity of my intentions and that you can therefore help me with providing a sterilization, and take that burden off my shoulders once and for all.

I am aware and have considered all risks, will sign any declaration needed, and I am naturally going to carry any monetary expenses that will rise from the operation.

Awaiting your positive reply,
Yours kindly,

Re: Sterilization, how to get it in pro-natalist environment
November 30, 2018
You might try looking at /r/childfree on Reddit, as I understand they maintain a list of sympathetic doctors in the sidebar. I don't know if this is primarily in the US or if they have some in other areas as well.

I would consider not mentioning your grievances in your letter. That is assuming the point is to achieve your personal goal, rather than to expose the nasty restrictions on female reproductive autonomy that the medical profession colludes in. My assumption is that there aren't many doctors who believe in absolute reproductive autonomy, but there are several who could be convinced, under the right circumstances, by an informed patient who appears mature, while they would discount someone who seems more emotional and aggrieved.

The approach I used was to be firm and above all calm, to appear as a serious and stable person. Basically, I took the approach people recommend for dealing with toxic people as much as possible: don't JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). I stuck with the facts, the facts being that contraception was not an appropriate solution to my problem, and I stated that calmly. I did have answers for all questions but I did not discuss my beliefs.
Re: Sterilization, how to get it in pro-natalist environment
December 01, 2018
I agree with yurble's approach. Once you have the contact info. I'd recommend calling the doctors first to insure they are willing to do a sterilization on you at your age. This will save you time/money in case any may have changed their minds.
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